Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer
C How they made me chapter 35:
The ultimate hangover cure
When it comes to hangovers I am now somewhat of an expert so much so that sometimes I feel like I was born with one. However, back in 1991 a hangover was a relatively new experience and to this day 19 years later I can still remember the hangover I woke up with in Peurto Galera. On a scale of one to ten this was a nine, my whole body ached and my head felt like someone was playing with jack hammers inside my brain. This was a mammoth hangover and as I stumbled out of bed looking in vain for a bottle of water, I remembered my fathers tales detailing the evils of rum and I thought to myself, hey dad now I know where you’re coming from. Over the years I have heard many people say Tanduay rum is actually quite a decent rum but ever since that morning I have been put off for life and in my drinking sessions I make dam sure to avoid Tanduay.
Even though my eyes could barely focus I somehow managed to find a bottle of mineral water and now all I had to do was rummage through my bag and find some Panadol which would hopefully stop my splitting headache. For many years my mother suffered from migranes and sometimes they were so bad the doctor would come along and just knock her out with a jab of morphine. Luckily myself and my brother never inherited the migranes but watching my mothers agony had made me acutely aware just how unpleasant headaches could be and this morning I found myself yearning for the family doctor and the loving embrace of his morphine needle.
Not having my family doctor in Peurto Galera and certainly not having access to Morphine I decided I would have to swallow a couple of Panadols and just hope they would do the trick. After what seemed like forever I finally managed to find the Panadols so I popped two straight down my throat washed them down with a gulp of water and then lay down waiting for them to take effect. Within twenty minutes I felt the gentle relief of the paracetamol based Panadol begin to kick in and as the waves of splitting headache began to recede and as the need to sleep overtook me I suddenly realized Rosie was nowhere to be seen. I couldn’t for the life of me remember if I had slept with Rosie the night before but there was a nagging doubt that she had been missing and as the sweet clouds of sleep embraced my aching head I made a mental note to check up on Rosie’s whereabouts when I woke up.
I have no idea how long I slept for but when I woke up my head was still throbbing so I just lay still and let the fact that I was awake and had to face the world slowly dawn on me. As I lay there I heard the sound of female laughter gently drift inside the hut so nursing my throbbing head I slowly made it to a vertical position and walked outside to see where this sound was coming from. As soon as I made it through the door blinding daylight hit me so I promptly turned round and went through my bag to find my sunglasses. Daylight is certainly not the hung over mans best friend and even though I now had dark sunglasses on it still took my eyes about 20 seconds to adjust. Once I had my bearings and I could see without squinting I gazed out into what I now considered as my front yard and there was Rosie and Juvie laughing and chatting away as they prepared some sort of food on the barbeque. Rather than interrupt them I decided to just sit back and observe this special moment that was just so typical of life in the Philippines.
I went back inside got my bottle of water and two more Panadols and then just sat down by the little table on my veranda and watched the two girls interact. They were jabbering away in Tagalog and of course I couldn’t understand a word but I did hear my name mentioned a couple of times and that of Phil as well. I was just sitting there minding my own business hoping that Juvie hadn’t told Rosie about our little encounter when all of a sudden it occurred to me that Rosie definitely hadn’t slept with me last night so where the hell had she been. I was pondering the best approach to ask her when as if she had read my thoughts she looked up spotted me and smiled. During my years here I have often encountered the Filipinas unerring ability to tap into their sixth sense almost as if they can read my mind. For example I have often talked about a girl with a customer without either one of us even looking at the girl. There is no way the girl could have heard our conversation as the music is far to loud and yet somehow she will pick up on our thoughts like she has some kind of mental telepathy. On many occasions I have noticed this and we have now coined the term bar girl radar to describe just this.
When Rosie saw me she gave me a beaming smile and blew me a kiss whilst Juvie just gave me a friendly little wave. When I saw this all thoughts of wrong doing on Rosie’s behalf disappeared and I felt myself melting as I became a slave yet again to her feminine charms. As I sat there wondering if those jack hammers would ever stop reverberating in my brain Rosie approached me and asked would you like lunch to which I replied I will try to eat something but I am not sure if I can hold anything down. The look on her face told me she was not familiar with the expression hold anything down but still she got the general gist of my conversation because she looked at me and said “that what happen when you to much drunk”.
When Rosie put her mind to it she was actually a passable cook but most of the time she either just couldn’t be bothered or she was so used to the spoilt bar life that she deemed it beneath her to cook for her man. On the other hand there were times when she would surprise me and for seemingly no reason at all would cook a delicious meal and make sure I eat every last morsel. Rosie was in some ways a contradictory and complicated package which was all to be revealed to me during the time we were in Peurto Galera. Rosies attitude was not exactly what I would call friendly let alone submissive or overtly feminine. She was a professional bar girl with a heart of stone when needed and certainly a little slutty around the edges. Having said this she did have several assets not the least of which was the fact that she had great boobs and when she put her mind to it could suck a bowling ball through a garden hose.
I was certainly fond of Rosie but I would never say I was in love with her. Yes she became a friend and yes she was always a good lover but no matter how much time I spent with her I couldn’t quite make that final leap and say what I was feeling was love. I think in my heart of hearts I wanted the ‘girl friend experience’ and I even wanted the ‘in love’ experience yet something always held me back. Maybe it was David’s words of wisdom, maybe it was a emotional safety reaction on my behalf after Hilda’s death, maybe it was because of fear of commitment or maybe it was just plain old common sense which dictated that Rosie and girls of her ilk were at the end of the day bar girls who were in many ways incapable of abiding by the rules that govern a normal relationship. As for Rosie even though I spent near on nine months with her I could never really say what she felt. Unlike most Filipinas she was not demonstrative or overt with her feelings and there were many times during our relationship where I would catch myself just gazing at her wondering what was going on behind those pretty Chinese eyes.
After lunch had been consumed by myself and the girls Juvie asked if Rosie and I would like a little sight seeing tour of Sabang to which Rosie eagerly agreed to and as such I had to as well even though it was the last thing I felt like doing. We started off walking back to the pool hall where once again Rosie dragged us in and the young Filipino guy whom I had met before approached us, said hello to me and the girls both of whom he knew and then asked if I would like another game of pool. By this stage I had heard about the local pool hustlers but I didn’t have much else to do and rather than offend him I agreed to a few games while the girls sat and watched.
For the first two games we were evenly tied at one game each and then sure enough for the third game the Filipino guy wanted to play for money. He started off at 500 piso per game but I pled lack of money and said much better we play for 100. He didn’t seem to impressed with this but faced with the choice of playing for 100 or letting the foreigner mark escape he agreed. Strangely enough that game I seemed to play like a freaking expert and his game just went to shit and I ended up winning convincingly. After I had won the guy then said to me “see you should have play for five hundred you win to easy. Maybe you hustler”. When I heard this I automatically knew this was the beginning of the hustle and he would be insisting the next game we played should be for 500. With this in mind I decided to circumvent matters by saying, “well thanks for the game dude but I have to go. Tell you what you keep the hundred piso you owe me and we can play double or nothing next time I come back”. I am not sure if he understood what I was saying but while he was trying to figure it out I motioned to the girls that it was time to leave and walked out the door.
That day we must have trapped all over Sabang stopping at various food houses and sari sari stores for a rest or just a cool drink. Juvie was one of these rare Filipinas who seemed to enjoy walking and was not afraid of physical exercise whereas Rosie on the other hand was very obviously not enjoying herself and was probably asking herself what the heck have I gotten myself in for. Looking back on this little excursion I can only remember scanty details but some things that stick out in my mind are Sabang Disco which I was to later on become very familiar with, Luckys Austrian food house which was nearing completion and the walk up the hill where Alan Nash has now built the Point Bar.
Half way up the hill Rosie decided to give it in and with an exasperated tone of voice told me “I go back Lucky no like walk to much tired”. This was followed by a rapid Tagalog conversation with Juvie and then Rosie turned round and started heading back down the hill. I looked at Juvie for some sort of guidance but all she could do was smile at me and say “no problema for Rosie, we go top hill then go back for Rosie”. I wasn’t exactly feeling 100 percent but I figured a little exercise would probably do me a world of good when it came to fighting the persistent hang over. With the ever energetic Juvie leading the way and me huffing and puffing behind her with my eyes firmly fixed on her jiggling buttocks we slowly made it to the top of the hill and when we got there a truly splendid view of the Sabang, La Lalaguna and the ocean greeted us.
Juvie stopped sat on a rock and beckoned for me to sit with her. Feeling like a little rest I gladly did so and next thing I knew she was kissing me passionately. At first I was a bit taken aback but not being one to miss out on an opportunity I found myself responding eagerly and next thing I knew Juvie had her hands down my pants and was pulling my cock out. I looked around to make sure nobody was watching and then having confirmed we were all on our own sat back and just enjoyed the sensation as Juvie wrapped her lips around me and proceeded to give me a toe curling blow job.
Sitting there on a rock in the bush looking out over a aqua marine ocean with a beautiful young Filipina lasciviously sucking on my male member was as close to paradise as I had ever been and I thought to myself life doesn’t get much better than this and best of all my nagging hangover induced headache had literally been blown away.