Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer
All good things come to an end
Originally I had planned to be in the Philippines for a maximum time period of one week and here I was one year later, still in the Philippines, still chasing nubile young Filipinas and generally having the time of my life. In retrospect I realize being in the Philippines for so long a period was irresponsible, a total waste of money and just downright unrealistic. But I was young, and living the ultimate hedonistic lifestyle, was just to much for me to resist.
In Australia they would probably describe it as being “cunt struck” or as the older generation would say, I was “sucked in by the power of the pouch”, but for me there was something more. Yes the availability of casual sex was the overriding lure, but beyond that, there was just something about the Philippines and the lifestyle it afforded me that was like an addictive drug. I was hooked big time and like a heroin addict I existed solely for my next fix.
Some people have referred to this as ‘living the dream’ and the more I think about it, the more I realize how appropriate this saying is. This really was a dream life. I had a seemingly inexhaustible supply of young women on tap, I could drink and party every night and best of all I was becoming immersed in a foreign culture that seemed to be non judgmental and hedonistic to the extreme.
The reality of course was quite to the contrary, but at the time I couldn’t see that and I just existed from one party night to the next, from one girl to the next. In years to come people would often ask me how I could throw my life away like this, and my answer would always be, “because I can”. They would also ask me “given the time over again would you do anything different” and my answer was always “yes there are a few things I would have done differently, but one things for sure, whatever I would be doing, I would be doing it in the Philippines”.
In a way I had become like a Filipino, I lived for the day and pushed any thoughts of tomorrow into some far away recess at the back of my mind. I was totally at home living the mongers lifestyle and the Philippines accepted me, as much as I embraced it.
When David said to me my mother had been calling this actually sent a little chill down my back. It wasn’t because I was scared but rather because I couldn’t think how to explain to her what I had been doing and the lifestyle I had been living. To be honest I knew she was going to ask when are you coming home and I was dreading having to explain to her that I had no desire to come home and live a so called normal life. The thought of doing a nine to five job in the so called normal world was for me a concept that literally filled me with revulsion.
Having lived the hedonistic, sexually gratifying mongering lifestyle for one straight year, I was now addicted. I had changed physically and psychologically. I had never really fitted into mainstream Australian society to begin with and after getting a prolonged taste of life in the Philippines there was no going back for me.
I was a man without a country. I was a man without any definite plans and without any sense of direction. I was a man existing in the sexual twilight zone and I treasured every second of it.
That night I did the rounds but somehow it just seemed something was missing. For some reason I just couldn’t get into the swing of things and three hours later I found myself walking back to the Mayfair alone.
I was strolling down M.H.Del Pillar studiously avoiding eye contact with the scantily clad sexually enticing door girls when suddenly I found myself outside Rosies dinner scoping the place out. I carefully surveyed the inside and finding nothing of interest was about to walk back to the Mayfair when suddenly I felt a little tug on my sleeve and a sweet feminine voice said, “honey I miss you”. Somewhat taken aback I turned round and there beside me was a dolled up Lisa.
I remember making some glib reply along the lines of, I bet you say that to all the boys and then next thing I knew I was walking back to the Mayfair hand in hand with Lisa. Back in those days I would often walk the streets at night which in retrospect was probably a stupidly dangerous thing to do, but for some reason I never encountered any problems. The girls were always a little bit hesitant to walk but I just put that down to laziness.
That night with Lisa was actually quite memorable. We had been together before or as the girls like to say we had tasted each other before, but rather than being a negative our prior experience with each other worked in our favor.
I understand the mans need for a new conquest and I understand why a girl being “new” is so important but conversely sometimes the fact that you have sexual history together can be a good thing. The value of newness is one thing but often the lack of newness is more than compensated for by the fact that the couple is sexually compatible and they know exactly what each other likes. This was certainly the case with Lisa and two hours later found me luxuriously lying on the bed smoking a cigarette, feeling spent and satiated.
I can still remember watching the tendrils od smoke gently waft through the air, and then as I turned aside to gulp in the site of this beautiful young Filipina lying naked on the bed next to me, I thought to myself, how can I ever give up this life, there’s no way I am going home unless I have no other option. I knew when I spoke to my mother some hours later that I would get pressure to come home, but at the same time I felt deep in my bones, going home was not an option. I drank in the sight of beautiful Lisa one more time and resolved then and there that I would do whatever it took to stay and live in the Philippines.
I woke at about 10:AM and proceeded downstairs for my regular breakfast of fresh mango and a cup of coffee. While enjoying my breakfast David Goldshaft sauntered up to my table and said “don’t forget to call your mum mate, she seemed a little worried”. Up until that reminder I had conveniently put the idea of ringing mum at the back of my mind and now here was David bringing it back to the front and reminding me of my responsibility.
Okay I thought to myself I really cannot delay the inevitable so I gulped down my coffee and followed Dave into his office where I could make the phone call.
To be truthful my mother was not at all hostile and her main concern was her errant sons lack of communication. She gently chided me for my infrequency of communication and then said “by the way Martin I have a letter from Debbie with her address in England and telephone number. Please get a piece of paper, write it down and make contact with her. She has been waiting for you for 3 months now”.
Prior to coming to the Philippines I had met an English girl traveling round Australia. We had hooked up for a while and I had become something like her unofficial tour guide. She had been in Australia close on 9 months and although there was never any sex we had hit it off immediately and the sexual current between us was always there just beneath the surface.
My original plan had been to come to the Philippines then travel the rest of Asia indulging in my wander lust but that had all flown out the window as my love affair with the Philippines slowly but surely developed. After all I had been through in the space of just one year I felt like I belonged here and the so called real world had lost a lot of its attraction for me.
I still liked Debbie but I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like meeting her again. Would we still have the electricity between us, had I changed, had my perspective on life changed, had she gotten involved with somebody else, how would I cope without the instant availability of sexual gratification? All these questions and hundreds more coursed through my mind and I found myself actually debating whether or not I should go to England.
That night I stayed in the hotel with Lisa and to say I was preoccupied was somewhat of an understatement. It was about 8:PM and David Goldshaft together with Ken returned from their bar hop to find me sitting in the Mayfair courtyard nursing my third San Miguel beer. David looked at me, looked at Ken and then they made their way to my table.
David and Ken both pulled up chairs beside me and then David in his most sincere tone said, “listen Marty I know it’s none of my business but I couldn’t help but overhear some of your conversation and I really have to get this off my chest”. By this time I felt like I knew David and trusted him but he was not someone who was particularly close to me as our friendship up to this point had been mostly based on the mongering lifestyle we both had in common. As such I was a little bit surprised by the gravity of his tone and the obvious concern for my well being that he was expressing.
My surprise obviously registered on my face but David had warmed up to his task and was now committed to saying what was on his mind. “I just want you to realize Marty that the Philippines and the girls will always be here. This place is like a drug and it gets under your skin to the point where some reach no return. If I was you I would get my arse to England go and see this bird Debbie and carry on traveling. There is no need stay here mate, you are young, you have your whole life ahead of you, so go and experience it. Besides this will always be here in one form or another and after experiencing other countries you will appreciate it even more when you return”.
Wow you could have knocked me down with a feather and I just sat back trying to absorb what he had just told me. I must have sat there speechless for about one minute when Ken Carbry suddenly piped up and said “Daves right mate this is a place to enjoy as a holiday. Keep it as your secret place, your dark side but do not let it blind you to the light of other places. This will still be here if you decide to return and you will have no problem picking up from where you left off”.
Now they had double teamed me and as much as I didn’t like the message they were conveying I realized their words were well meant and the advice they were giving me was what they genuinely thought was my best option.
I looked both of them in the face and replied, “thanks guys”. “I know you are telling me this because you have my best interests at heart and deep down inside I know you are right but still it’s fucking hard to leave this place. This is almost like my home”. Upon hearing this Ken smiled and replied “mate this is home for all of us but for myself and David it’s to late. There’s nothing for us in the real world but that’s not the case for you. Get out of here go see what life’s about and if you return this will still be here”.
So there it was, some heartfelt advice from two mates who had obviously been in my shoes before. After having said their peace Ken and Dave rose from their chairs and said, “see you in the morning mate and please give our advice some thought”.
Shortly after I rose myself and went back up to my room. As I entered Lisa looked up from her engrossing Filipino movie, stared at my face and asked, “you have problem honey”, to which I replied sure do babe, looks like I’m out of here. It’s time for Martin to be leaving on a jet plane”.