How Stupid am I

So I am sitting here in Dumaguete enjoying the life and having a rum and coke looking out over the ocean and I get a text. It is from one of my regulars before in Angeles City.

She lets me know that she has left the bar and is now in Manila working in a mall as a saleslady and is very sad and she claims to miss me so much.

u know I think of u all d time. I want to see u

(This seems to be an epidemic as I now know 3 of my regulars which have moved out of AC. Not a good trend. Even the hot cherry girl I spent my last night with before moving to Dumaguete has now moved out of AC and is in Manila, trying to get work as a sales lady… Just what is up with that? Maybe an article or post for another time.)

Anyway, this girl is saying she would love to come see me but she has problems and needs to support her family. (Gee, where have we all heard that before? Do we need a rocket scientist to see where this conversation is going?)

She says that she will come see me if I help support her. (big shock, ha?)

I ask her how much.

She replies, “How much you give me?

(I know this is like you are reading through some past event in your life and are experiencing deja vue all over again, but bear with me, this is going somewhere…)

I tell her I will not play this game and ask her how stupid does she think I am to which she replies that she knows I am smart and she will stop playing games.

Yeah right…

So I go about it another way. I change the topic and start to sound really interested in her life and what she’s doing now. We are texting for about an hour and I come around to the trap. (By the way, I just had to add the word “texting” to Microsoft Word. Shouldn’t that be in the dictionary by now?)

I ask her about her job and how she likes it and how many days a week she works. She is excited I am so into her and she replies that she works 5 days a week and likes it but it is 12 hours a day and she needs to take 2 jeepneys and a trike to get to work.

Wow, that is far away…” I text back, “How much does that cost?

(Ok, once again I am foreshadowing, but don’t ruin it for those that don’t see where this is going yet.)

She tells me she is spending like 50 to 60 pesos a day in transportation.

That last text was too matter-of-factly and I back off and change the topic again and start to talk about if she was here what we would be doing. Swimming and of course all those sexual deviant things she knows I love. She is laughing away and having a good time and I steer the conversation back around.

So, 12 hours you are working? Do you at least get a lunch break?

She explains to me that they get food from a vendor out in the street and eat in the store. She says that it is a pretty good cantina. I ask her if it is better than Sombrero which was the place she used to eat when she worked at Blue Nile Executive.

This little hint of home makes her happy and she says without prodding that it is not as good as there and for 30 pesos she gets about half of what she got there.

Bingo, just what I needed.

So armed with all the info I need I go in for the kill. I send her a text about how nice it was to be chatting with her and I’d really like her to come to Dumaguete to see me.

She is happy and asks again what the support would be. I ask her, I will match whatever she is giving her parents right now.

There is a long pause here…

Finally she texts back. This is an exact copy of her text:

Every week I give family my money

So, you give in one month 20,000 pesos to your family?


I then text her back, “So, you are working 5 days a week and spend let’s say on average 55 pesos a day on transportation and 30 pesos on food. And give your family 5,000 pesos a week. That means at your sales lady job they pay you 1085 pesos a day.

What?” she comes back after another long pause…

Well, that’s assuming on the other two days you don’t go anywhere or eat or spend any money at all, and I guess you have free text for life. You need to make 1085 pesos everyday to give your family 5000 pesos a week.

… two days later and I’m still waiting for her reply.


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