Monthly Archives: March 2012

C How They Made Me! Chapter 28


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 28:

A whole lotta Rosie.

As soon as I had finished my short time and walked out of the shower into an empty room with only the wafting aroma of Rosie’s perfume to greet me I should have written her off to experience but being one of those people who thrives on a challenge I just couldn’t let her go and I was determined to get to the bottom of her mysterious behavior.

I spent the day lounging around the Mayfair writing letters to family members who somehow were beginning to seem like a thing of the distant past then by the time it was 6pm I found myself heading down M.H.Del Pillar and entering Bee club in search of the elusive Rosie. As soon as I entered I saw Rosie sitting over by the bar and when she saw me she leveled me with a smile that made anger disappear and next thing I knew I was sitting at the bar with her buying her a ladies drink.

Rosie and I spent about 2 hours just chatting with me buying her drinks and before I knew it I was proposing she go bar fine with me. Rosie readily accepted my proposition and before long we were going back in my hotel room with Rosie sucking on my dick like a vacuum cleaner like there was no tomorrow. We must have gone at it about five times that night and when I woke the following afternoon I was pleasantly surprised to find Rosie sleeping soundly besides me with one leg draped over my torso and one hand still firmly grabbing my dick.

So this was the beginning of my relationship with Rosie. Now I admit there have certainly been more auspicious beginnings but then again this is the Philippines and besides she was just so damned good in bed I really couldn’t see myself finding anyone better than her. I think I bar fined Rosie for seven days straight and it was on the seventh day that David approached me asking for a quiet word in my ear.

David sat me down, looked me straight in the eyes and said “listen mate it’s really none of my business but you seem fairly keen on this Rosie girl. Now I am not saying this is a bad thing but there are a couple of things I want you to keep in your mind. Remember where you are mate and remember what she does for a living. You are not the first and only guy in her life and you probably won’t be the last if you get my drift.” Being a laconic Aussie David was always a master of the understatement so I looked at him and said “what exactly are you trying to tell me Dave” and he responded with “mate she is a hooker, she works in the bar and survives by having sex with men, always remember that if you find yourself falling for her. I am not saying stop the relationship but just realize the grounds of the relationship that way you will save yourself a lot of money and heart ache further on up the road.”David stressed to me “you can be friends with the bar girls and you can even have that special friendship but never forget how she earned her money before and never apply the same values to a Filipina bar girl that you would to a so called normal relationship in the real world.” With tha said he looked me in the eye once again and said “Martin always be a butterfly” and with that rose and walked through to his office at the back of the hotel.

After he left I sat and contemplated David’s words for a good half hour mulling them over in my head whilst sipping on a cup of hot tea. I knew this was my first trip and he was speaking from a base of experience that I didn’t have, I also realized he was telling me this because he obviously saw something and was concerned about my well being but hey I was a grown man and I wasn’t about to let a little undereducated Filipina bar girl make a fool out of me.

After carefully weighing David’s words I decided that I still wanted to be with Rosie but I would distance myself a little bit and try to stop any strong feelings from developing. Looking back on it I realize David was exactly right and it was almost as if he had a crystal ball in which he could see the future. In the years to come I would find myself having exactly the same conversation with friends of mine as I saw them getting involved with Filipina bar girls and I now realize I am forever in David’s debt as once again his advice was spot on the money.

In modern day parlance they have a saying “it is what it is” and this saying neatly sums up what David was trying to tell me. One of the dangerous things about Filipinas is that they have a way of getting under your skin and making you develop real feelings for them which in turn means you forget the cornerstones of the relationship and start to view it as something it is not rather than what it really is. It is so easy to develop what you think are intense feelings for a girl and have what seems like a genuine relationship however, how the girl views the relationship is most often completely different. I am not saying all Filipina bar girls are evil scheming manipulative whores but I am saying their idea of the depth of the relationship may be very different from yours yet you may never know it until its to late. The bar girls are nothing if not practical and underneath the veneer of emotion there will always be the cold hard agenda of economic survival for themselves and their family.

After mulling over David’s words I made a decision that I would try to control my feelings for Rosie, I would take a step backwards and try to look at our friendship through practical eyes rather than emotive ones. With this decided I finished my third cup of tea and headed back to my room where Rosie who had over the past week developed the habit of sleeping in late, lay waiting for me.

In the room I woke Rosie by gently caressing those firm breasts with the rose bud nipples and as she slowly came round I felt the all to familiar urging in my loins and next thing I knew we were engaging in yet another tumultuous round of sexual gratification.

After sex while Rosie was in the shower I decided to take stock of my situation. Basically I did not have unlimited funds and staying at the Mayfair whilst bar fining and tipping Rosie every night was beginning to eat into my spending money. I had only been in the country 3 short months and already I was addicted to the lifestyle and the thought of actually moving onto England to find a real job as in my original travel plan just appalled me. At this stage I wasn’t exactly struggling but if I wanted to stay here for a longer period of time it was clearly obvious that I would have to slow the spending a little bit.

In the Lonely Planet Guide Book to the Philippines I had read about this place called Peurto Galera and whilst carousing the bars I had overheard people talking about it so this seemed like a suitable destination. My only problem was how to approach Rosie with this. On the one hand I was kind of tempted to pay a steady bar fine so at least this way I would have some companionship and Rosie would have a healthy commission which would hopefully stop her from asking me for money all the time plus I wouldn’t have to tip her after sex. On the other hand the steady bar fine was a large outpouring of cash and there were no guarantees Rosie would even stay with me. I weighed up the pros and cons of each scenario and in the end came to the conclusion my best course of action was to try and convince Rosie to come with me for a holiday and just have some fun. I would sell it to her as a holiday and a change of scenery. Once again previous conversations with David were echoing in my mind and now my course of action was defined.

Now I look back on this I realize how naïve I was but at the time my logic made perfect sense. If I was confronted with this situation again and knowing what I now know I would probably try for the steady bar fine but at a discounted rate or even better at bar share rate only. The thing is no matter how much money the girl gets from a steady she will invariably send this money back to her parents or spend it thus relying on you her customer to support her once again. The steady bar fine has numerous advantages which I will not go into here since it is hardly an appropriate forum and given what happened in the ending stages of my relationship with Rosie I would have been better off paying it but that’s a story for another day.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 27


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 27:

All about Rosie.

After having paid Rosies bar fine and watching her wave goodbye to me whilst cradled in the arms of another man I was feeling kind of weird and as I walked the 20 yards to Visions in a daze. Once at the doorway to Visions Rodger and Philip the doormen said “hello Martin” but I hardly registered their existence as I walked past them and into my favorite club.

The one thing I really liked about Visions was the chaotic party atmosphere that permeated throughout the place virtually no matter what time of day or night it was. No matter what sort of mood you were in when entering, it was a rare man that walked out of there feeling anything but horny or excited as he left. This for me was a totally unique bar sure there were many other bars on M.H.Del Pilar but Visions was something special. On the books they had over 200 girls working at any one time and you were literally assured of meeting a girl whatever your requirements. The music in here was a delightful mix of eighties pop, nineties techno and when called for some good old fashioned seventies rock and roll and this is where I first learnt the important role music plays in creating an atmosphere inside a bar.

As long as I live I will never forget sitting in Visions chatting with John Reid the manager in Visions when he suddenly bolted out of his seat and headed towards the DJ booth and on the way whispered to me “watch this mother fucker”. One minute later he was back and next thing I knew the saccharine sweet love song Chika Kita by Abba came on. When I heard it I looked at John and asked “are you trying to ruin my night or something” and he answered simply “watch the stage dummy”. Suddenly from all corners of the room girls started rushing towards the stage and within seconds the stage was four rows deep in girls and so packed they could hardly move. I looked at John in exasperation and said “yeah that’s impressive but the song sucks” to which he replied “tell me that in 3 minutes”. I turned towards the stage again and suddenly 12 girls jumped from the stage and started a slow sultry dance on top of the bar counter whilst the customers in the seats near the bar rapidly removed their drinks. Years later they were to make a movie called Coyote Ugly which featured hot chicks dancing provocatively along a bar top but this was back in 1991 and at that time there was nothing like this anywhere in the world.

The girls were all dressed in lingerie with white thigh length stockings or in delightfully revealing T/Backs and the dance they were performing although obviously spontaneous came across like a well choreographed routine. They would gyrate to the music softly and sensually wiggling their hips provocatively while they descended to a squatting position and then slowly ascend back up to a fully upright position without ever stopping from moving then after a few more gyrations they would jump in the air and land with legs split on the bar counter. In the coming years I was to see such shows many times but nothing was ever to come close to that of Visions and even though I didn’t realize it at the time right then and there I made a decision this was the life I wanted to live.

I sat and watched this show in awe until the song ended and I found myself like everybody else in the bar clapping and silently mouthing wow. To say that I was impressed would be an understatement and next thing I knew I had all twelve of the star dancers surrounding me, sucking down ladies drinks like there was no tomorrow. As they surrounded me with continual cries of cheers I stood back and subtly admired this fine selection of flesh and the thing that really struck me was the diversity of age and personalities. Two of the girls looked to be not a day older than 16 with shiny brown skin and tight little buttocks that you could bounce a coin off, 4 others were somewhere in their late teens and oozed sexuality whilst the others ranged from 21 to 26 and their eyes were alternating between youthful enthusiasm and resigned dullness that signified they had seen to much life at too young an age.

I was on my third round of tequila shooters with the girls all over me when suddenly a felt a burning sensation in the back of my head so I extricated myself from the girls, turned around and sure enough there was Rosie glaring at me like she wished me a slow painful death. Now being young dumb and full of cum I would have normally just blown her off and carried on doing what I was doing but I had actually learnt a little from the loss of Hilda so straight away I told the girls to finish their drinks and then I walked meekly over to where Rosie was standing and with a bright smile on my face kissed her on the cheek and said, “hi honey hope everything is ok I was just having some fun”. Rosie looked up at me with an angry glint in her eye and then suddenly a transformation overtook her entire body as she went from fuming she devil to sweet angelic Filipina.

Now I am no expert when it comes to women but even I, in my half inebriated state, could tell there was something going on here and somehow I also instinctively knew whatever it was there was no escaping it so I might as well go with the flow and take it as it came. Being resigned to the fact that my fate was already sealed I nonchalantly invited Rosie to join me at my table which was thankfully now devoid of girls, she looked at me and simply grabbed my hand walked me over to the table and then planted a huge kiss on my lips with her tongue half way down my throat. At the time I was so pleasantly surprised and I thought to myself wow I have gotten away with this one.

Rosie sat with me for about one hour in Visions and during that time was never more than one foot away from me. I thought to myself wow playing the girl back at her own game really works, this jealousy trip is alright. I paid my bill and once outside Visions Rosie hailed a cab and we proceeded back to the Mayfair hotel. When back at the hotel I got my key from the front desk while Rosie had a brief conversation with the receptionist then we proceeded upstairs to the room. Once inside with the door closed Rosie turned to me and with a round house that would have made Mike Tyson proud she let me have it right on my arm. At first I was to surprised to counter her attack but I shook it off almost instantaneously grabbed her hands and said what the hell is that for. Rosie looked straight at me and said “you hurt me I no like you with other girl”, “but how about what you were doing with that guy in Bee club” I countered, only to receive the classic Filipina reply “that’s different that’s my job.” This was my first time to hear this classic Filipina reply and the perverseness of it hit me right between my eyes. I was momentarily flabbergasted and contemplating my reply when suddenly Rosie broke free of my grip and pushed me down onto the bed. With lightning speed she was on top of me and I was getting ready to throw her off me when suddenly I felt her fingers undoing my zipper and next thing I knew she was proceeding to lick and suck my male member like never before.

It took five seconds of her delicate lips and wet tongue brushing against me and all my resistance evaporated. I remember momentarily thinking if this is the fury of a woman scorned then I would like to see what happens when she is truly mad. Rosie blew me for what seemed like an eternity gently licking and sucking my shaft whilst stroking up and down round and round and then just as I was about to blow my load she stopped and announced “I shower, you wait.”

So there I was lying on the bed with a full erection feeling like the brunt of some sick joke when Rosie appeared wrapped in a towel and without a word started working on me with her sweet lips. Rosie worked me for another 3 minutes and then just as I was nearing orgasm again she stopped and said “I be the one to drive”. With this said she jumped on top of my shaft and proceeded to ride me like a bronco rider. Up and down, up and down she went with her firm little butt smacking against my thighs all the time letting little moans of pleasure escape from deep within her. My attitude towards sex has always been it takes two to tango but in the case of Rosie I may as well not have been there, for her this was all about Rosie and she was going to ride me until she was fully satisfied.

As for me this was a new experience but I was in the Philippines and open for just about anything so deciding to make the best of things I grabbed Rosie underneath her ass and lifted her up and down making sure on the inward thrusts she took every centimeter of my engorged cock. Far from turning her off my active participation seemed to turn her on and within seconds the tumultuous waves of orgasm were overtaking her body. Rosie’s whole body was shaking as she lay spent on top of me but I was far from finished so I gently lifted Rosie of me. lay her down on the bed, straddled her and then proceeded in a rhythmic motion to insert my rock hard dick into her dripping wet vagina.

Now I am no expert love maker but this night I was determined to really hit my stride and show this little vixen that she wasn’t the only one who was the sexual dynamo around here. I rode Rosie gently at first slowly rubbing my self against her clitoris as my dick went in and out like a well oiled piston. After about 5 minutes of this Rosie began to come round and before I knew it she was digging her nails into my buttocks crying out for me to fuck her harder. With Rosie’s urging echoing in my ears I hit my stride and literally pounded her until I felt the familiar waves of the ultimate pleasure overtaking me and my head exploded into an orgasmic state of bliss like never before.

After the sex I lay in bed enjoying a post coital cigarette while Rosie had a shower. With my heart still beating furiously I lay there wondering if this had been what they refer to as a grudge fuck. I thought about my life, I thought about my experiences so far in the Philippines, I thought about womens reactions to men in general and of course I thought about Hilda. The memories of my life were bombarding me when suddenly Rosie appeared from the bathroom wrapped in a towel and said “you shower now honey.” This broke me out of my train of thought and without a care in the world I arrogantly sauntered buck naked into the shower eating up the attention Rosie was trying so hard not to show my body.

Even though it is always hot in the Philippines I have always found it a distinct pleasure taking a hot shower and as the waves of steam enveloped me I felt the exertion of the previous hours disappear and I slowly wound down to a level of contentment that was absolutely delightful. After about fifteen minutes in the shower the hot water began to cool so feeling on top of the world I turned off the shower, grabbed a towel, opened the bathroom door only to be confronted by an empty room with my beautiful Rosie nowhere to be seen.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 26


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 26:

Rosie and blow jobs on the 16th hole..

Young Rosie had delightfully light colored skin, Chinese eyes, the classic oriental haircut which was straight across on the fringe and down to the shoulders and surprisingly large breasts which were made even more prominent by her habit of wearing push up bras. When in the bar she would dress up and look a million dollars yet was equally at home wearing a faded blue, obscenely short denim skirt, in which she would traverse the streets of Manila with a purposeful expression etched on her face.

When our group got back to the hotel we all separated and made our way to our individual rooms and no sooner had we entered the room than Rosie was down on her knees and unzipping my pants. Rosie was adept at giving blow jobs like nobody I had ever experienced before and after ten minutes of her artful manipulations the job was finished without her even changing clothes. When finished and after having made a brief diversion to the bathroom Rosie announced that she wanted to go home but I wasn’t having anything to do with that. I informed her that it was late and she should stay all night. She did not seem very convinced by my argument and proceeded to put up some resistance until I explained to her that I would increase her tip in the morning.

At this stage I had only been in the Philippines a short time but people such as David had taught me to stand my ground with the girls and besides I wasn’t about to let this orally skilled princess escape my grasp without at least having one more round. In the back of my mind I wondered what I was doing coercing this girl to stay when I knew she would resent it and this resentment would probably result in a lousy fuck. This was my logic but at the same time I felt a pressing need for some company this particular night and I figured it might as well be this orally skilled little vixen so even though there was a definite down side to having her stay I wasn’t about to give in no matter what my logic said and I was willing to pay extra so there should have been little problem.

That night Rosie did stay with me but every time I tried to get it on with her she subtly resisted my advances and managed to squiggle away and slither down to pay oral attention to my demanding penis. At the time I thought how lucky am I to have a girl who is really into blow jobs. Most Filipinas in my experience are somewhat reluctant to engage in oral sex preferring just to have intercourse but Rosie was definitely into oral sex and this girl could literally suck a golf ball through a garden hose. At the time I was so grateful for her oral skills that it never occurred to me to ask why she didn’t like fucking. If I could go back in time and act with hindsight then I would certainly have pushed her to engage in intercourse on that first night, but as always it easier looking back through rose colored glasses than it is at the time.

That morning Rosie accompanied me downstairs for breakfast but it was very obvious to me that she was not entirely comfortable until Ken bought his girl down for breakfast and while Ken and myself conversed the girls gabbled on in their own language quite contentedly. This little experience stuck with me for the longest time because it was through this that I learnt the girls, particularly ones you have just bar fined, are not really comfortable with the customers company alone and they certainly do not appreciate the same food as you because they are not used to it. Rosie and her girl friend sat there for about half an hour and after that had exhausted their topics of conversation and were ready to say goodbye to myself and Ken.

Time passed quickly in the Philippines and suddenly it was 2PM and time for me to play golf with Uncle Ken. Now at this stage in my life I had never picked up a golf club let alone tried to hit a ball with one but Ken was insistent and assured me that I would really enjoy it as a bit of exercise and just some time away from the bars. At exactly 2 I met Ken downstairs and we then proceeded outside to hail a taxi and head towards Intramuros which was his standard golf course and it wasn’t just because of the convenient location.

We entered the golf course where Ken paid over some money and I then followed him outside to where a group of ten female caddies were sitting round a table enjoying a cool soft drink. Ken being an old hand at this wandered over to the girls and said “hello ladies” to which they replied in unison “hi Uncle Ken, welcome back Uncle Ken.” Right from the start it was very obvious Ken was well known here and he sauntered over to the table and said, “I need two caddies for me and my friend Martin, which one of you lovely ladies would like to apply?” When Ken asked this he was literally mobbed by these ladies all genuinely eager to be our caddies and I must admit even though I was taken back by the ladies genuine enthusiasm I was also a little bit envious of old Uncle Ken. This guy was in his early sixties which was double my age and yet here he was being surrounded by young ladies in their twenties all seemingly eager to cater to his every whim. I thought back to my time in Australia and all of a sudden it became very clear why guys the age of Uncle Ken were over here rather than sitting in the local pub drinking their pensions away.

We proceeded to play 18 holes of golf, if you can call my hack and slash job playing golf, and on the sixteenth hole when I finally managed to decently connect with a ball it went flying behind the bushes. My caddy and I walked behind the bushes searching for the ball when all of a sudden my caddy touched me on the shoulder, turned me round and gently kissed me. Now I am not exactly into public exhibitionism but this was so unexpected and enjoyable that any reservations I may have had melted away as my caddy slowly slipped her tongue into my mouth and proceeded to deep throat me like no woman had ever done before. After the torrid kissing scene my caddy extricated her lips from mine and then with a look as innocent as a new born baby asked me “would you like blow”. At first it didn’t dawn on me what she meant so I replied “do I want what”, “you know blow job honey, you like some blow job”. As I have stated I am not into exhibitionism and the small bushes did not exactly provide adequate cover however this caddy was very experienced and as I felt her velvet soft lips gently slide up and down my pole all fears of being exposed faded away and before I knew it I was exploding into my caddies mouth as she swallowed every drop of my pride without so much as a single wink. At the time I was ignorant concerning the history of Intra Muros and as I looked at the old fort with my dick half way down my caddys throat, I couldn’t help but wonder how many other men over the centuries had received blow jobs from Filipinas standing in front of these walls.

After she had finished my caddy elegantly rose from her squating position and then acting like nothing had happened loudly pronounced “that lost ball Mr Martin you play from here”. I was somewhat amused by her ability to totally switch and act like absolutely nothing had happened but over the years to come I was to experience this many times along with the Filipinas ability to lie and still keep a perfectly straight face. I looked over to the green and there was uncle Ken making a fifteen foot putt for par. Whilst I admired this guys dedication to the game it left me a little bemused as to how anyone could concentrate on a game like golf when there were the very pleasant distractions such as blow job giving caddies who took your mind to levels of pleasure completely unheard of from just playing golf.

Ken and I played until the eighteenth hole and when we had finished he proudly announced “well I went round in 14 over which is pretty damned good for me but from what I hear you scored a hole in one on the sixteenth.” I looked up at Ken and asked “how the hell do you know about that” and in reply he just smiled and said “these caddies do have certain skills you wont read about in the guide books Martin and its got fuck all to do with the game of golf.”

After golf we made our way back to the Mayfair Hotel where I quickly headed for a shower got changed and then hit the street looking for some evening action. I started off with the usual stroll down M. H. Del Pillar with nowhere particular in mind. I was just wandering when next thing I knew I found myself standing outside the entrance to Bee Club and some sort of what can be only described as a magical force was pulling me up the stairs. In a trance like state I slowly ambled up the stairway and into Bee club where I spotted Rosie sitting on some guys lap. When she saw me Rosie made eye contact and sent me a smile over her customers shoulder. When I saw this I immediately felt irrational pangs of jealousy. I realized Rosie did not belong to me and she was far from being my girlfriend but there was a definite attraction there (at least on my behalf) and the sight of her hugging another guy even though she was looking at me over his shoulder did nothing to impress me.

In future years I was to experience a girl hugging me while she made eye contact with some other guy over my shoulder, many times, but this time I was the one getting the flirtatious look and whilst it felt bad having to watch her with another guy it was also kind of flattering knowing that she really wanted to be with me which was why she was making eye contact over this guys shoulder. I am not sure if this behavior is a learned behavior or instinctual but the fact is Filipinas do it extremely well and will then lie about it without missing a beat. I am sure the Filipinas know instinctively that the by engaging in this behavior they make the man they are smiling at somehow feel good about himself because even though she is on the lap of another man it is clearly obvious she wants you as is portrayed by her smile and flirtatious manner. I am sure the Filipinas are experts at playing the male egos against one another and this is from girls who most people refer to as undereducated or just plain stupid.

I made my way over to the wet bar and ordered a Jack Daniels and coke and whilst the bar maid was flirting with me I couldn’t take my eyes of Rosie who was enjoying watching me squirm as she played her customer for more drinks. I waited for about half an hour then after 2 Jack and Cokes I thought to myself what the hell are you doing Martin there are so many fine women in this town what the heck are you getting stuck on one for. As this thought struck me I prepared to pay my bill when suddenly Rosie was right besides me. With those Chinese eyes she looked up at me half innocence and half lust and said “You wait me, you pay barfine now Martin. I go with you.”

Well this was not the first time in my life I had been propositioned by a woman but it was the first time the proposition had been delivered like a command and to be honest I was at a bit of a loss what to do. On the one hand my male ego was a little bit hurt being bossed around by a little nineteen year old with rudimentary English but on the other hand I was kind of flattered as I thought wow she must really like me to come straight up and demand I barfine her so blatantly.

Rosies none to subtle message had left me in a quandary and I think she saw this as her next message was “you pay barfine then back later, I go with you.” Automatically I thought why doesn’t she want to go with me now, maybe she wants me to go so she can do a short time with this other guy first. I was debating the pros and cons of cutting this other blokes grass when all of a sudden I felt Rosies hands gently rub my crotch and at the same time she looked me straight in the eyes and said “Martin tonight you bar fine me, Rossie give special service to you.” I looked at the mischievous gleam in Rosies eyes then I looked over to the bloke whom she was with who by now was getting a little irritated and I asked Rosie, “what will you do with this guy while I am away” and she simply smiled and replied “I only make drink honey but I go bar fine to you.”

In my head I did the various calculations weighing up the good and bad sides of paying her bar fine and in the end decided fuck it, she is working really hard to get me so I will just have to take her word for it. I really didn’t fancy going sloppy seconds but then again she seemed to specialize in blow jobs so chances were even if she did go with this guy it would probably only be for oral sex and as long as she was here when I got back and her breath didn’t smell like another mans sperm who the fuck was I to complain.

Thinking back on this episode I did the wrong thing. I should have stood my ground and demanded if I pay the bar fine now you come with me now but at the time I was still young, naive and an easy mark for girls like Rosie who were experts at leading a man around by his balls despite their young age and lack of English. In the coming years I was to have this same scenario happen many times both stealing the girl and as I got older having the girl stolen from me. At the time I should have heeded the alarm bells in my head but of course I didn’t and looking back I am sure I got some sort of distorted kick out of playing little power games with Rossie and at the same time getting a little ego stroke with the knowledge that I had stolen the girl from another guy. Best of all Rossie had promised me special service and this alone was enough to get my imagination running wild and a definite reason to pay her bar fine even though she was sitting there with her tongue half way down another mans throat.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 25


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 25:

Rosie Cantinez a fortuitous meeting.

Life in Ermita was like a drug and slowly but surely I slipped into what can only be called a routine but this was a routine unlike any I had ever experienced before. Even though I was spending way to much money and should have cut down my expenses for some reason I was content staying at the Mayfair. It was almost like this had become my home away from home and the staff there were like my extended family. There was also a sense of safety for me in this hotel, I am not sure whether this was borne from the incident with Hilda and how David had helped me or if it was because the atmosphere in the Mayfair was laid back and very familiar to me. Either way the Mayfair was my hotel and whilst I was running around the streets of Ermita this was always going to be my home base.

I still had contact with Sally on a daily basis but any advances I made towards her were subtly rejected and one day when David and myself were just sitting around in the outside section of the hotel enjoying a cup of tea I gently bought up the subject of Sally and when I did a big smile crossed his face and he said “oh yeah mate I was meaning to tell you, Sally is married to a Filipino guy. Do yourself a favor mate and never show any interest in her unless it is on a purely professional level and that way you will have no problems”.

When David informed me of this you could have knocked me down with a feather, and I thought to myself oh shit I have gotten myself into another damned situation. I wondered why, if she is married, what is she doing having short times with me. I tossed the idea around in my head and as the memories of that night came flooding back a broad smile crossed my face which did not go unnoticed by David who said, “yeah mate I know what happened with Sally and you and I strongly suggest you just keep that to yourself”. When David said this my jaw dropped and I gasped “how the hell do you know” to which he replied, “what you think you’re the first guest she has been with, time to wake up and smell the roses Martin, that lady specializes in guests staying here”. This statement was like a pin being inserted into my balloon like ego and any ideas of me being the special guy or the lucky bloke quickly faded and the reality that I had been used came crashing home. My one consolation was that it was better to be used as a toy boy than to get nothing at all but then again this reality showed Sally was a woman who like a man could operate purely on the physical level and any ideas I may have had concerning the development of a relationship quickly faded.

David must have seen the look of disappointment on my face because he suddenly chuckled and said under his breath, “don’t be disappointed mate Sally has certain needs and I guess the Filipino husband is not fulfilling them so she chooses young foreigner men like you”. I told David, “I feel like a toy boy who has been used I thought it was us men who are supposed to be using the women”. When he heard this David burst out in unrestrained laughter and said “men have been thinking they rule the roost for centuries mate but the truth is far from that. Sally is a girl who knows what she wants and knows how to get it but for fucks sake, always remember the time you had with her but never repeat it to anyone. Her hubby is some sort of politition and he will have the connections to give you a world of trouble”. With this said David then rose and said, “don’t worry mate I never kiss and tell so your secrets safe with me, now cheer up because we have to go bar hopping this afternoon”.

Later on that afternoon when I woke up from my siesta I showered and headed down to Davids office where he was waiting for me and as I walked in he said to Ken “oh look here comes our resident stud by the way stud we are going for a little bar hop and its your shout”. Since David had picked up the tab when we went to China Coast I was hardly in a position to disagree so I simply nodded my agreement and said “lets go”.

As we headed out of the Mayfair and onto Mabini Street David asked, “what bar do you want to visit first mate” and I quickly responded Visions. We strolled down Mabini and then turned left onto M.H.Del Pilar where we were immediately greeted by a horde of beggars and cat calls from the door girls all of which where fielded by the experienced David and Ken. We walked past the clubs such as the Australia Club, Bloomers, Josies Pride Shampoo the Gold Mine (the names still come back to me 19 years later just like it was yesterday) until we were virtually at the door step of Visions when David suddenly grabbed my arm and said “mate come with me I want you to see this club”. David pulled me into a little grotty entrance in the building right next door to Visions where I was greeted with a dimly lit stairway. I looked at David and said, “what the fuck are we doing here come on mate I want to go to Visions” to which he replied, “trust me mate this will only take a few minutes and Visions will still be there when we have finished”. I looked at Ken for some support but he simply shrugged his shoulders and said “I’m easy lets give it a shot“.

We walked up two flights of stairs to be greeted by a dimly lit hallway and at the end of that hallway was a door with a lit sign above it proudly displaying the name Bee Club. Right then and there I knew David was taking me to one of his more secretive places but I still remembered my China Coast experience so I figured what the heck if this is as anything good as China Coast it will be great. We walked into the Bee Club (the details of which are a bit vague all these years later) and sat down at one of the tables. The Bee Club was not exactly a modern day go-go bar with heaps of girls dancing on the stage but rather more of a hostess bar where the girls specialized in oral sex and any other sexual proclivity as long as the money was right. I guess it is best described as more old fashioned and customers were actually encouraged to get to know the girls over a ladies drink or two as opposed to bar fining them straight away and heading back to the hotel for an evenings entertainment.

We had been sitting there engaging in idyll chit chat enjoying our below average priced drinks when all of a sudden it dawned on me what the heck am I doing here when I could be watching 50 nubile young dancers shaking their butts for me right next door. I was just about to voice my opinion when David said “ah that’s what I’m talking about” and as I raised my head I was greeted by 3 visions of loveliness seductively walking towards our table.

Like an apparition these three slowly and sensually made their way directly towards our table. All three were dressed in tight body clinging dress and had just the right amount of white foundation juxtaposed by a subtle shade of pink lipstick. These three were classic Filipina bar girls partly sensual and sophisticated partly sluttish and tacky. I have always found this contradiction particularly intriguing and these three personified it. On the right hand side was a taller girl who made her way towards David, in the middle was an average height Filipina with alarmingly white skin and Chinese eyes who approached me, while on the left was a cute young girl with dark skin and protruding Hershey Kiss nipples that headed towards Ken.

The girls sauntered over and each sat on our respective laps. My girl introduced herself as Rosie and as I was coming to terms with this vision of loveliness just absorbing the scent of her cheap perfume mixed with everyday soap a waitress sidled up beside us and asked “would you like to buy her a drink sir”. Totally absorbed I muttered “yeah sure get all three a drink” and promptly turned my attention back to the girl who was gently rubbing her derriere against the expanding lump in my trousers.

Over the course of the next 45 minutes I gleaned this girls name was Rosie Cantinez and she was from somewhere in the Visayas. Rosies English was not exactly proficient but she spoke just enough to get by and what she lacked in communication skills she certainly more than made up for in looks and willing attitude. For me Rosie was an intriguing package of womanhood. She was about 5 foot 2″ tall and had slightly tanned skin together with Chinese eyes. She also had what I call a page boy haircut with the fringe cut short in a straight line which only served to highlight her Asiatic features even more. Her skin was delightfully smooth and as I rubbed her legs I slowly worked my way up to her ass only to find more smooth skin barely covered by a pair of flimsy lingerie type panties.

Rosie and I conversed for what must have been a good hour and during that time all thoughts of going anywhere else slowly evaporated and I realized I was going to make my move in this sleazy little dive bar that David once again had introduced me to. Three ladies drinks later Rosie announced she was going to the ladies room which of course prompted the others to leave David and Ken and accompany her. I don’t know why women all over the world feel a compulsion to visit the CR together but no matter what country I am in I have noticed this happen and the Philippines is no exception. While the girls were gone I told David of my intentions and he responded by saying, “wise move kid I wouldn’t let that one slip away” and then the diminutive Ken echoed his thoughts adding that he would like to take the girl he was with. I asked David if he wanted the girl he was with and he replied by saying, “well I have just had a short time earlier today but I reckon I could give this a few rounds so why not”. With this said David then beckoned the waitress over and asked her to total our bill adding to it the three barfines.

After I paid the entire bill the three of us accompanied by our bar fines headed outside and hailed two taxis back to the Mayfair and on the way back David whispered in my ear “oh by the way Marty the Bee club is renowned for its girls blow job abilities so I reckon you will have a good night there lad“. Sure enough David was right and even though I did not know it at the time Rosie was about to become a major part of my existence for the next 8 months of my stay in the Philippines and would change my life irrevocably, so much so, that the lessons I learnt from her are still with me to this day 19 years later.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 24


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 24:

Pay the piper and fun times in Ermita.

I walked slowly out of Victoria court in a daze contemplating my life and what had just happened to me. A lady who was very close to me, my friend and my lover, had just passed away and as if to mark the occasion here I was having sexual intercourse with another Filipina with Hilda barely 48 hours passed away. My head was plagued with guilt and yet somehow I was serenely happy. This after all was what I had come to the Philippines for casual sex with no strings attached yet as much as I realized this I couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow I was doing Hilda an injustice having sex so soon after her death.

When I got back to the Mayfair I sat outside and had them make me a nice cup of coffee so I could sit back and just think. During my troubles with Hilda I had given Mario the head bartender at the Mayfair my pet monkey and he had taken her back to his place to look after. I inquired as to the monkeys well being and was informed the monkey was in good health and had bonded with Marios oldest son so as such I thought to myself that monkey has to many memories for me and besides if Marios son is now providing the link then why not let him keep the monkey. There was hardly enough room at the Mayfair and my lifestyle of bedding as many girls as possible was not exactly the ideal environment in which to bring up a monkey.

I woke up the next day to the insistent tingling of my bedside telephone. Groggily I managed to get the phone to my ear only to be informed there was a gentleman from the Australian embassy downstairs wishing to speak with me. Upon hearing this I felt a sudden chill of apprehension so much so that I was instantly wide awake and I remembered Sally’s off hand warning barely 7 hours before. I quickly grabbed a shower and headed downstairs to David Goldshaft’s travel office where David, Ken Karbry and Barry the mysterious gentleman from the Australian embassy were now congregated beneath the offices air-conditioning unit. David motioned me to sit down in the one remaining spare seat and then said “hey Martin this is Barry from the embassy mate, do you remember our conversation before where I told you there would be some payments that would have to be made, well mate Barry here has made those payments and now he’s here to tell you about them and why they happened. Just hear him out mate and I think you will see it’s now time to pay the piper” I nodded my head signaling that I understood and Barry then began his speech.

Barry was a soft spoken man who weighed his words carefully. Listening to him he seemed like the classic laconic Australian who you would easily dismiss as just another normal knock about bloke but when you looked in his eyes you could literally see a wealth of life experience and this alone told me to listen carefully to what the man was saying. Barry informed me that in cases such as mine it basically boiled down to money. He explained how even though I had done nothing wrong the cops would try to make it look like I did and in so doing extort some money in exchange for my release. He also explained that there were several ways of dealing with this and perhaps the most common was to bring in a negotiator such as himself to arrange the best price possible. When I first heard this I responded with a measure of self righteous indignation. “Listen Barry” I said, “I thank you sincerely for helping me out but why should anyone have to pay when at the end of the day I am not guilty of anything”. Barry looked at me said, “you are right you are innocent but in this country its rarely about your guilt or innocence it’s about them using your situation to extort money”.

So there it was the bottom line, no matter whether you are guilty or innocent when it comes to accidents or supposed crimes the cops couldn’t care less about your guilt or innocence all they care about is the money and you as a foreigner are just a means towards an end, you are indirectly a walking ATM. Faced with this there wasn’t much I could do, I mean this man had literally saved my life and perhaps altered the course of my destiny so who was I to argue with him. Resigned to fact that I would have to pay even though I was innocent of any crime I asked Barry how much the payment would be and he informed me he had negotiated it down to only 20 thousand piso. Only 20 thousand shit at that time this was almost 1000 dollars and even though it seems a pittance in today’s scheme of things it was for me at that time quite a hefty payment and it would take a fair chunk of my savings just to pay off some undeserving cop.

I listened to Barry’s carefully weighted speech then promptly got up went outside to the reception area and withdrew 20 thousand from my safety deposit box then sauntered back to the office and handed the money to Barry with a casual there we Baz and thanks for all your help. I even had the audacity to ask Barry for a receipt to which he just smiled, shook his head and said “nice try mate but there is no receipts in my world”. After receiving the money Barry and I talked for a little while over a cold beer in the outside dinning area. During the course of our conversation I gleaned that he was not officially attached to the embassy but rather was a sort of fix it man an unofficial guy who had contacts in the seedy world Manila and indeed throughout the Philippines. Barry was the man used by the embassy whenever an Australian got into a spot of bother with the law or with criminals. Normally Barry would play the negotiator but I also got the impression he could exert force through various channels should that be required. After the beer Barry said his farewells emphasizing that it had been a pleasure meeting me and if ever I needed anything in the future he could be contacted through David Goldshaft.

I never did get to meet Barry again and with the demise of Ermita I often find myself thinking about what happened to him. Like so many others his survival was both directly and indirectly linked to the on going operation of the girlie bar business and as a result the number of tourists died guys like Barry would of no longer had enough work to make their existence economically viable. I can just see Barry now, he will either be semi retired and living by his wits and meager earnings or he may be back in Australia with nothing much going for him except to tell stories to his mates whilst sitting around enjoying a beer at the local pub. No doubt his stories will be about the good old days in Manila and if so I hope my name gets mentioned as I consider it an honor to be remembered by this man.

After the payment was made and Barry disappeared I sought out David and said hey mate what do you reckon we go for a little afternoon bar hop I could do with something more to drink and maybe a few afternoon rounds. Not being one to ever turn down a bar hop David replied sounds like a good idea to me lets go get our knobs polished at China Coast.

The afternoon scene in Ermita was an interesting one. On the one hand you had the big larger bars like Superstar Visions and Firehouse all of whom would open at three and these bars would tend to have only a few girls but the air-conditioning was excellent, the range of drinks exhaustive the service exemplary and there was nearly always a foreign manager there to greet you and regal you with stories of people whom they had met their personal exploits and of course information on all the girls who worked there. On the other side of the scale there were little bars which were literally no more than a hole in the wall and these would traditionally have lower prices than the big bars simply because their overheads were lower and they were catering towards a price sensitive market. Traditionally these bars would have a very limited range of drinks and there would rarely if ever be a manager. Most of these bars were run by the mamasans and David seemed to have a underground network with these ladies who would inform him whenever a new girl came to work in the bar.

As we walked into China coast I thought to myself what the hell are we doing here this is not exactly what I would call a good place to have an afternoon beer and chin wag but then again David had never led me wrong so I would blindly follow him into any bar if he so requested. Once we entered China Coast, David sat down at one of the four chairs in front of the wet bar area and ordered a rum and coke. It was clearly obvious that David was very much at home here but for me this place felt a little sleazy dirty and run down. I was wondering why David liked places like this so much when all of a sudden the bar tender asked David if he would like to speak to mummy and when he responded yes certainly all of a sudden like an apparition the mamasan appeared from behind a thin red curtain at the end of the bar.

David had a short conversation with the mamasan most of which I couldn’t be bothered listening to as I was just wondering what the hell are we doing here and when can I leave, when suddenly the mamasan made a sign and from behind the red curtain came 4 of the most beautiful Filipinas I have ever had the pleasure of viewing. It turned out these girls had only been in the bar for 3 days and each of them was literally a little nymph. The girls were scantily clad in some sort of bikini which barely concealed their womanhood and midst a chorus of giggles two girls pealed off and sat on the laps of myself and David. David slipped his hand inside both of his girls bikini tops and pulled out their plump young breasts which reminded me of ripe mangos. These girls had flawless dark brown shiny skin and dazzling teeth. Each one had their hair pulled up in a bun which served to highlight their fine cheek bones and elfin like features. They were thin and nubile each weighing no more than 80 pounds and what they lacked in communication skills they more than made up for with youthful enthusiasm and a genuine joy of life. These girls had the nice firm legs, tight butts and flat bellies that only youth can create, they were all from the Visayas, (exactly where I never did find out)and they were all stunningly attractive. I think they might have been cousins or even sisters but as it turned out I never had time to investigate.

David and myself chatted with the girls while running our hands over every part of their delicious young bodies which they seemed to have no objection to and then suddenly Dave announced come with me Marty and led the way behind the curtain where the girls had mysteriously appeared from. Behind the curtain was a little room sparsely lit with one table and two chairs together with two wall fans blowing to keep the air circulating and stop the room from heating up. David made his way over to one of the chairs placed his rum and coke on the little table and then proceeded to unzip his pants. As he sat down his two girls squatted down and within seconds one was sucking on his member whilst the other gently fondled his balls. I was just getting over the shock of this when I felt a gentle pulling on my arm and the two girls guided me onto the chair where they proceeded to unzip my jeans and just like Davids girls one of them started gently licking my cock whilst the other played with my balls.

At this stage I didn’t even know the girls names but then again I didn’t care this was just pure indulgent sexual satisfaction performed by two young Filipinas each applying their already considerable talents to my male member. In some ways I felt like an ancient maharajah with the girls of my harem wishing to do nothing but please me. It was times like this it felt good to be a man. This sex was not about feelings or emotions in fact it was purely designed for the males satisfaction. I had no idea how many men these girls would service in a day and then again I didn’t care just as long as the wonderful feeling emanating from my penis continued.

These girls were only young and relatively inexperience and yet they certainly knew their craft. After about 3 minutes the girls swapped and my second blow job angel transferred her attention to my penis while the original girl gently licked my balls whilst massaging them in her hand. Admittedly it was a little awkward sitting their next to David getting a blowjob but when I looked over at him he seemed to be perfectly content watching the girls applying their skills and couldn’t give a stuff about me or anything else in the world until he reached climax.

Deciding this was no time to be shy I took a leaf from Davids book and sat back thinking what the heck you only live once just sit back and enjoy Martin. Now that my mind was at ease I felt the girl tighten her grip on my penis and at the same time whisper something to her girlfriend. Just then she began to increase the speed of her hand rubbing my cock and her luscious lips were moving up and down the length of my entire pole without coming up for a breath I could feel myself nearing orgasm then just as I was about to blow my load the girl playing with my nuts gently sucked one ball into her mouth which was just to much for me and the next thing I knew I was exploding my seed into the mouth of the young nubile with her lips wrapped around my cock head.

As the waves of orgasmic pressure overtook me I vaguely noticed the girl who had been sucking my manhood slowly saunter over to a trash can that was conveniently placed in a corner of the room and spit out my sperm. This was a little off putting and I felt like there was something wrong with my sperm. Later on David explained this is just what they do and I should never take that as an insult but at the time I was a little bemused and even angry as I felt it was insult. I was just pondering this insult to my manhood when all of a sudden I heard an almost agonizing groan from David and I looked over to see him pushing two girls down on his cock making each of them lick each side while he gushed forth his manhood and then made them take it in turns licking it off his cock. I thought to myself this is fucking bizarre its like I am living in some sort of mad porno movie but by the time I had finished contemplating this David had zipped up his pants and laconically announced “ah that was good now we have gotten the edge off we can go have a drink”.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 23


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 23:

Back in the saddle again.

Like everybody I have sometimes been guilty of judging a book by its cover and this was certainly the case with Sally. On the outside she was the prim and proper receptionist. She would normally dress up in a pair of blue slacks with a blue jacket. Her long flowing hair was mostly kept scrunched up in a bun and she always had just the right amount of lipstick and makeup. For Sally looking beautiful and stylish just came naturally, she was aloof and yet friendly she was professional and yet flirtatious. Looking at her she appeared to be the classic prim and proper Filipina office girl yet in reality she was far from this as I was about to find out.

I followed Sally outside and she promptly hailed a cab and as we bundled into the back seat she told the driver Victoria Court and please hurry. Now at this stage of my sojourn in the Philippines I had no idea what Victoria Court was but after this night that particular branch of this fine establishment was to hold a special place in my heart.

For those of you who don’t know, Victoria Court is basically the name for a series of short time hotels which are scattered all over Manila. I don’t know how many branches they have but I do know they are thoroughly professional, well run and have a brilliant advertising logo. Some years later I would be sitting in AC with a friend of mine named Dale who was what I would describe as a mongering veteran and even though it is now many years later and Dale has long since relocated back to America I can still vividly remember his wise words. “Martin there is only one thing the Filipinos can organize effectively and that’s short time”.

The ride to Victoria Court took only 5 minutes and while we were in the back Sally sat there looking all prim and proper like the good little secretary she was yet the whole time her hand was rubbing my crotch. Now I am not exactly shy but this juxtaposition between her appearance and her behavior somehow made me feel amused and embarrassed at the same time. It was a weird feeling sitting next to this girl who looked like a demure office girl and having her play with my male appendage without a care in the world. This was something out of the Penthouse magazine letters and as much as it was stimulating it was also bizarre and I couldn’t help but grin like the joker all the way to the hotel. Thinking back on it I guess the driver must have thought I was a raving lunatic but at the time I didn’t give a stuff what anyone thought as I was to busy enjoying the physical stimulation being provided by Sally’s adept hands.

The taxi took us into the grounds of Victoria Court and Sally instructed me to wait in the car while she checked to see if they had an available room. 3 minutes later Sally was back jiggling some keys. She told me Martin pay the driver 100 piso and then follow me. I rummaged through my pockets eventually finding the 100 piso note gave it to the driver and then scrambled out of the taxi following the provocatively swinging buttocks of young Sally.

While I followed Sally I remember thinking how good is this Martin and like Alice in Wonderland I actually pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t imagining things. Sally was a hot intelligent great looking woman, the type of woman any of my peers in Australia would have given their left nut for just to have one round with this sex goddess and here she was about to give me a tumble that I would never forget. I remember thinking now this is why I came to the Philippines, in this country a woman who wouldn’t even give me a second glance in Australia was flirting with me outrageously and for all intents and purposes seemed to have her mind set on giving me a damned good romping.

Over my years of staying in the Philippines I have often questioned what makes someone want to stay here and I keep on coming up with the answer it’s all about the girls. Basically in the Philippines you can have a sexual relationship with a young lady who you wouldn’t have a chance with in your own country. The Philippines is the land that gives you what you cannot get in your own country especially when it comes to sex with women and I believe this is why many people become addicted to this place.

After a short stroll along the corridor Sally stopped inserted a key into a door and beckoned me to follow her inside. The rooms at Victoria Court are fairly basic and they include a double bed with clean linen, a bedside table with drawers, a basic air-conditioning unit, a hot and cold water shower unit with toilet and a small TV which runs local channels and in house porno movies. I was to find out later that Victoria Court also had various theme rooms and other rooms with mirrors none to discreetly placed on the ceilings and on the walls but ours was the basic room which was good enough a venue for Sally and myself to satiate our carnal desires.

In later years I was to use numerous different short time rooms in many different establishments and many different locations and I would always wonder if there was some sort of hidden camera filming all the activity that goes on in these rooms. It would be just my luck to be bonking away with some hot little Filipina only to be walking down Fields Avenue one month later to see myself featured on some street vendors porno CD collection. How I would ever explain that to my mother I have no idea. Luckily for me this has never happened and I think part of the reason why is that places such as Victoria Court and Anito Lodge have been successful because they can guarantee your privacy and do so at a very reasonable price.

As I shut the door behind me I turned round only to be confronted by a flushed Sally who without any hesitation planted her lips on mine and proceeded to kiss me longingly and passionately. When Sally kissed her tongue would dart in and out of my mouth like a timid prairie dog inquisitively peeking outside its burrow. Her lips were thick and voluptuous yet delicately soft and provocative. We must have kissed for at least two minutes and then suddenly I felt Sally’s hand unzipping my pants and next thing I knew she was down on her knees and those voluptuous lips were now gently gliding up and down my engorged penis.

Sally must have administered her considerable oral skills for about 3 minutes and just as I was about to uncontrollably blow my load she pulled away and with a sly little smile said not yet big boy first we have shower then I want to taste you in the bed. With this said Sally rose to her feet and sauntered off towards the shower unzipping her dress as she went. Within seconds I heard the shower water cascading down and all the time I was just standing there with my flag pole fully erect and wondering what the hell was I supposed to do now.

I reached down pulled up my pants and just as I was half heartedly stumbling towards the bed Sally popped her head round the bathroom door and said come on lover boy it’s your turn to shower and then we are going to have masarap boom-boom. As Sally exited the bathroom I made my way inside to be greeted by a cloud of steam and a steady stream of scalding hot water which Sally had conveniently left running for me. I quickly disrobed jumped into the shower and then reached around for the minute towel which Sally had left dangling on the counter top beside the wash basin. I remember thinking how small the towel was and how it would be nice to have some sort of bathrobe but then again who was I kidding this was after all just a short time hotel where only the basic necessities are supplied.

With towel wrapped around my mid section I opened the bathroom door and glanced towards the bed to be greeted by a similarly robed vision of loveliness stretched out on the bed. The towel although only small served to cover Sallys alluring body just revealing the slightest hint of blossoming bosom and silky brown thighs. Upon viewing this vision of loveliness my erection was now fully restored and as I made my way to the bed I knew this was going to be an experience that would stay with me forever.

Normally a woman will view sex as making love whilst the male will view it as sexual gratification but with Sally this was not the case. This young lady was a sexual dynamo who just wanted to fuck my brains out. She started off with her well refined oral skills which left me wondering why the hell did she learn this from. I mean this lady was supposed to be the prim and proper receptionist and as it turns out she could suck the chrome of a bumper bar. Sally was also one of these girls who had that much appreciated ability to sense her partners state of arousal and she could take her man to the point of sexual fulfillment and then just before climax she would stop leaving her partner tantalizingly close to the ultimate euphoric orgasm.

That night Sally and myself must have had about five torrid sessions each one more exhausting and satisfying than the last and after the final round I just lay back on the bed totally spent while Sally got up wrapped a towel around herself and headed towards the shower.

While Sally was bathing I had a few minutes to reflect on my life in the Philippines so far. Thoughts of guilt plagued my mind as I remembered Hilda and how close we had become but would never be able to recreate again. I remembered my time with her in Boracay and visions of her quirky little smile kept on entering my mind. I remembered her placid nature and her tolerance of this stupid naïve foreigner. Juxtaposed to this were my thoughts of what had just happened. I had come to the Philippines in the pursuit of sexual hedonism and the last three hours had marked the achievement of that goal in no uncertain terms. This little receptionist from the Mayfair hotel had literally rocked my world using me for her sexual gratification with utter abandonment and as a man I had enjoyed every second of it.

After a while Sally came out of the shower and as she proceeded to get dressed she looked at me and said sorry to disturb Martin but I go now because I have work tomorrow. With that said she then told me I did not have to pay because she had already taken care of the room cost but in her opinion it would be best for me to follow her soon as David wanted to talk with me regarding some sort of payment that needed to be made. When she told me this my previous conversation with David regarding the incident and costs incurred came flooding back and I was left wondering just what the hell was going to happen now.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 22


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 22:

Ah the sweet taste of freedom.

The guard led me down the corridor past the click clack of ancient typewriters and back into the room where I was initially questioned. I hesitantly opened the door then a wave of relief came over me as my eyes landed on David Goldshaft together with another guy whom I had never seen before and Captain Garcia. As I walked in I let out a huge sigh of relief and muttered “David, boy am I glad to see you“. It was very obvious to David that this ordeal had taken its toll on me and I must have looked a disheveled wreck. Upon seeing me David gave me one of his best crooked smiles and said, “no problems mate this is Barry from the Australian embassy and we have talked with the good Captain here and you are now free to leave“.

At this stage you could of knocked me down with a feather. Just 3 minutes before I had been sitting behind rusty steel bars playing cards with a bunch of ragtag Filipinos whilst having horrendous visions of spending the rest of my life rotting in jail and now all of a sudden sweet freedom was beckoning. When I heard David’s words I let out another audible sigh of relief and slowly sunk to the chair in front of Captain Garcia’s table. I felt like the weight of the world had been taken off my shoulders and the only thing I wanted was to get out of this police building and hopefully never see it again for the rest of my lifetime.

Captain Garcia looked at me and authoritatively announced well Martin we have considered your case and have found no wrong doing on your behalf therefore you are free to go. When I heard his words I couldn’t quite believe what I was hearing so I momentarily sat there in a type of stunned stupor until David gently placed his hand on my shoulder and said come on Martin you look like you could use some sleep. I slowly raised and hesitantly put my handout to Captain Garcia. After he silently shook my hand I turned round and walked briskly out of the office with David Goldshaft close behind me. When we got outside I stopped suddenly and just drew in a deep breath filling my lungs with the smog and haze of Manila which had come to represent sweet freedom. After several breaths I turned to David and said mate I don’t know how I am ever going to thank you and he replied trust me Martin I will think of a way.

David hailed a cab and before I knew it we were back at the Mayfair hotel and I was being greeted by a crowd of Filipinos and foreigners all of whom greeted me with big smiles and well wishes. David guided me to one of the small tables outside where Ken Carbry was waiting and as I sat down Ken presented me with a glass of Scotch and said here kid drink this then get your behind up to your room and get some sleep you sure as hell look like you could use some.

That night I must have crashed for at least ten hours and even though I was dead tired visions of the Filipino jail cell and swarthy Captain Garcia kept on invading my dreams and I remember waking up in a cold sweat several times but each time my fears were assuaged by the now familiar surroundings of the Mayfair hotel and I slowly drifted into a pleasant slumber getting the much needed rest my body had been craving.

The following morning I woke up and headed downstairs to find David waiting for me by the outside tables. When he saw me David said now you look more human mate, come on lets have a seat and I will tell you about what happened. I did as directed and slowly sank into the seat and then David began relating the chain of events that had led to him coming to my rescue. As it turned out my favorite receptionist had found out from the guard on duty that the police had taken me and upon finding this out she had immediately informed David. David had then conducted a meeting with Ken and between them they had contacted the Australian embassy and informed them about my troubles. Within 2 hours the Embassy had sent Barry to the Mayfair and together he and David had come to the police station to secure my release.

Now that was simple enough but I still had a number of questions which I needed answering for me to get closure in my mind. Listen Dave I said there are a few things I need cleared up so do you mind if I ask you a few questions. David looked at me gave me another one of his lopsided smiles and replied sure mate but make them quick because I have a lot of work to do today. My first question was why had the cops locked me up and tried to create trouble for me and in reply David just said Money mate it’s all about the money. The cops were trying to make a case against you hoping you would be forced to buy your way out. I looked at him in disbelief and said you can’t be serious since when does law enforcement work like that and he replied remember where you are son, this is the Philippines and 99.9 percent of the time it will boil down to money, especially where foreigners are concerned. Well this answered my question and also gave me a valuable insight into the Filipino psyche which in the coming years I would be eternally grateful for on numerous occasions. David looked at me and said is that all you need to know to which I answered no I have a couple more questions like who was that Barry guy and why did he stay behind when we left. In response David gave me a piercing look and said Barry is an old mate of mine who works closely with the Australian embassy its his job to get people out of the shit. Ah ok I said so he is like a “fix it” man. David said yeah he is a fix it man and a whole lot more, very handy man to have on your side mate. So why did he stay behind when we left I asked and this is when David dropped his bombshell “mate what did I just tell you everything boils down to money and Barry had to negotiate the payment for your release. He will be contacting me later and then I will tell you how much you owe. Upon hearing this I was momentarily shocked but then I looked at David’s stern expression and I realized this was just normal procedure in the Philippines.

I asked David a few more questions all of which he answered and then as he got up to leave he said by the way mate you better thank Sally for her help I think you should maybe give her a gift or something. With that said David rose from his seat and disappeared into his office to attend to his pressing work demands. When left alone I was free to ponder my situation and it became abundantly clear how lucky I had been. At the time I did not realize how the police in this country work but looking back on it I now realize I could have been charged with murder or manslaughter and be spending my last 20 years in Filipino prison rather than living life large drinking, partying and chasing an endless supply of young nubiles. In the Philippines it always boils down to who you know not what you know and most importantly it always boils down to money.

After my lunch I decided to heed David’s words and went inside to the main reception seeking out Sally so I could thank her. Very obviously this young ladies alertness and intelligence had been instrumental in saving my ass. If it wasn’t for her quick thinking and informing David I would have probably still been in the holding cell. There was no debating it, I owed this lady a debt of gratitude and my profuse thanks. I wandered into the main reception area and there at the front desk attending her duties was the ever vigilant Sally. She was on the phone at the time but as I approached she said goodbye and looked at me with a beaming smile that would make the worlds hardest cynic dance for joy and celebrate life.

In my mind I had already composed my thank you speech to Sally but when she smiled at me I was suddenly dumbfounded and at a loss for words. All thoughts of a convoluted thank you speech left my head and I found myself just staring at her. Sally returned my stare with yet another dazzling smile and said, “yes martin how can I help you?” When I heard her voice I was gently woken up from my stupor and I mumbled, “Sally David has told me what you did and I just wanted to say thank you very much.” I think Sally thought my humble thanks was kind of cute because she smiled yet again and said “you are welcome Mr Martin.” I was about to walk away when all of a sudden a sort of inspiration hit me and next thing I knew I found myself inviting her out on a date later that evening. When she heard my invitation Sally smiled again and replied certainly Mr Martin I like that very much. We made arrangements when and where to meet and next thing I knew I was back in the hotel room enjoying my now familiar bed and getting more sleep.

That night I met Sally at the Hula Hut behind Rosie’s diner and as we ate together in that iconic establishment I began to realize how truly pretty Sally was. Sally was one of these girls whose intelligence and zest for life shone through her eyes like a beacon of light at the end of a tunnel. Her vitality and vivaciousness marked her as someone special and yet for me she was just another woman. I was still in a state of semi shock at what had happened to Hilda and as our dinner progressed I found my mind wandering away from our conversation and onto Hilda. I was feeling twinges of guilt thinking I should have been in mourning but at the same time I was tremendously relieved and couldn‘t help but smile when I pondered how lightly I had gotten away from a potentially disastrous predicament.

Sally being as bright and bubbly as she was noticed my aloofness but unperturbed she kept up the conversation and by the time we were tucking into our deserts my attention was now fully on this beautiful woman and thoughts of getting her into bed kept on coming to the fore. Sally at the time was 21 years old and for me was a so called proper lady as in a non bar girl. We slowly finished our meal and then as I was paying the bill it suddenly dawned on me that this lady had been subtly flirting with me all night and if I played my cards right I probably had a good chance of getting this lady into bed but to be honest I had no idea how to breach the subject with her.

While we were waiting for my change I mumbled something about going back to the Mayfair Hotel and I hoped Sally had enjoyed herself and that this was my way of thanking her for saving me from doing some time in a Filipino jail. After I had finished my mumbling Sally gave me another beaming smile and then said, “Martin I like to go hotel with you but much better not Mayfair because to many eyes watching to me there.” When I heard this I felt a barrage of conflicting emotions. On the one hand I was so happy and couldn’t believe my luck but on the other hand I felt a tremendous sense of guilt. Hilda had only passed away 48 hours ago and here I was about to spend the night in the luscious embrace of yet another sensuous brown skinned beauty. As I silently contemplated my options and the conflicting emotions they produced Sally took matters into her own hands and said Martin meet me outside Rosie’s I will be the one to get taxi and with that she strolled out leaving me to follow feeling more than just a little sheepish and more confused than ever.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 21


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 21:

Doing time.

Upon hearing Garcia’s words I felt a cold shiver down my spine and before I could react I heard a gravely voice behind me say, “please come with me sir” and I then felt a firm grip on my upper arm and next thing I knew I was up out of my seat and being marched to the holding cell. Now at this stage in my life I wasn’t exactly a choirboy but let me tell you nothing could have prepared me for the Philippine holding cell. I had watched Midnight Express, I had seen the movie Bangkok Hilton and I had even heard about the prison systems in India and South America but even if I had of experienced some jail time in New Zealand or Australia, nothing could have prepared me for this.

The officer walked me down a long empty corridor, similar to long empty corridors all over the world. The floor was spotlessly clean and composed of some non descript vinyl floor covering that was showing signs of wear and tear from the years of footsteps and it wouldn’t surprise me if the same vinyl was still there today, 19 years later. About every ten yards there was little doorways on both sides that obviously led to the inner sanctums of this particular branch of Philippine law enforcement and from each room I could hear smatterings of Tagalog along with the click clack of ancient typewriters. At the time I was being somewhat hurriedly escorted to the cell whilst protesting my innocence but it soon became very obvious my so called escort was non communicative so I had nothing better to do than take note of my surroundings and hope that I would soon see them again but this time heading out of the police station rather than in.

At the end of the corridor we came to an old wooden doorway which my escort used one hand to open whilst maintaining a firm grip on my arm. We entered through the door and there were three tiny cells all cram packed with Filipino males. I asked the officer if this was the holding cells and he replied yes sir as he inserted his key into the lock, opened the door and rather unceremoniously pushed me inside. I stood there dumbfounded looking at my six cell mates who were staring back at me and then the sound of the cold steel door clanging shut penetrated my brain and I thought to myself, what the hell am I going to do now.

I must have stood stock still with my back against the cell bars for about thirty seconds engaging in a stare down and trying my very hardest not to let my fear show. It was very obvious to me that I was the outsider here and drastically outnumbered still I thought to myself, if these guys give me a hard time I will take one or two down with me and I sure as hell am not going down without a fight. The group of six were a raggedy bunch all wearing tattered jeans and dirty singlet’s and all of them sported an assortment of tattoos together with what I would say was probably a three day after growth. After about one minute the smallest of the bunch came towards me and gave me a toothless smile while he announced, “Hey Joe me Arnel what you name”. I looked at him guardedly and somehow managed to smile as I pronounced, “my name is Martin nice to meet you Arnel”.

Upon hearing my voice and having weighed me up the group began to relax a bit and the piercing stares gave way to looks of curiosity. Arnel proceeded to introduce me to his “kompares” and then invited me to take a seat on the floor as he asked me “why you here Joe? You bad man Joe?” I looked at Arnel and decided it was probably best to keep my answers simple and non confrontational so I replied truthfully “Arnel I don’t know why I am here. My girlfriend have an accident and now they blame me.” One of the other guys who I was to later learn was named Jason asked me, “what kind of accident”? This was the question I had been dreading but deciding fortune favors the bold I mumbled “my girlfriend died from an overdose.” Arnel looked at me and said “your girlfriend dead diba, how she make dead, maybe you kill her?” By this time I was ready for this accusation, I mean it wasn’t exactly the first time I had heard it in the last twenty four hours, so I simply replied, “No Arnel I am a gentle man who love and respect the Filipina. Hilda died because she take an overdose of my pills and I was not even in the room.” This statement seemed to confuse the group a bit and they mulled it over intensely then there was a rapid discussion in Tagalog which resulted in Arnel looking at me and saying “you good man Joe”. To this day I am not sure what made this gang accept me but I am internally grateful they did otherwise I well may not of been around today to tell this story.

After a while the group got tired of questioning me and I get the feeling they only understood a smattering of my answers anyway. Once their curiosity had been satisfied they kind of left me alone and drifted off into their own conversation none of which I could understand so I just sat there with my back against the wall wondering if I was ever going to get out of this and if I didn’t how the hell was I going to survive in a Filipino jail.

As I sat there huddled in the corner a thousand questions crossed my mind, how had all this happened, why was I locked up but no charges had been laid against me, if I got charged with something how was I going to fight it, did anybody know where I was and what had happened to me, would I ever see Australia and my family again, what would be my sentence if found guilty, would I be able to survive a Filipino jail and if so for how long. All of these questions and thousands like them popped into my head and most frustratingly of all I didn’t have an answer for one of them. I was literally in limbo with nothing to do except try to survive. After what seemed a life time of agonizing questions the events of the past 60 hours overwhelmed me and waves of fatigue and anxiety began to assault me. Despite my uncomfortable conditions and uncertainty of my survival the need for sleep was paramount and as my head began to droop I remembered the old prayer “if I should die while I sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep”.

I have no idea how long I slept but I do remember waking up lying on the squalid jailhouse floor with my knees curled up around me and an assortment of aches and pains coursing through my body. As I opened my eyes I looked over at my fellow cell mates only to see them glancing at me while playing a game of cards. Noticing I was now semi conscious Arnel smiled at me and said, “hey Joe you like play cards”?

Now even though I was in what I considered an extremely precarious and uncomfortable position the bizarreness of his request dawned on me straight away and I couldn’t help but smile as I silently thanked God I was still alive and hesitantly accepted his invitation. To this day I am constantly amazed at the Filipinos ability to accept whatever situation they find themselves in and not stress about the circumstances of their life. Here these guys were penned up in a tiny squalid jail cell and yet they seemed oblivious to their surroundings as they happily played a game of cards. Of course I understand the logic of why worry about it as worrying will not change anything but for me this logic is a case of easier said than done. For me it was bloody hard not to worry and yet these guys seemed to have the haphazard approach to life which basically precluded them from worrying and encouraged them to adapt and make the best of any situation no matter how bad it was. Over my years of living in the Philippines I have seen this same attitude surface in different shapes and forms on numerous occasions and I have slowly learnt that becoming resigned to the hardships of life is a necessary survival tactic. In a country where you have nothing and little opportunity to improve your lot acceptance becomes an ally and dissatisfaction together with ambition becomes your enemy.

Slowly I raised myself into a prone position and the group parted slightly to make room for me. On the very first hand they dealt me in but I declined to look at the cards telling them I would just watch a few hands first while I learnt to play the game. I watched the hands being rapidly played complete with various gesticulations of disgust and triumph and I decided this game was a variation of Jim-Rummy a game which my mother had taught me to play at a very young age. These days I am all to familiar with the card game named Tongitz and on many occasions I have seen this game used as a sort of social entertainment as well as a chance to earn a little money through gambling on it.

After watching 5 hands being played I decided I was ready to play so I requested them to deal me in. For the first half hour the hands seemed to fly by and no matter what I did I couldn’t win but as they say lady luck is fickle and just as I was about to give up and go back to musing over my situation I won a hand which was greeted by pats on the back from the Filipinos and warm smiles.

As the game progressed I slowly got a better understanding of its principles and as I did my luck seemed to change as well. I had been playing for about an hour and had amassed a small fortune of ten pisos when suddenly the game was interrupted by the same guard who had escorted me to the cell. The guard looked at me with an mixed expression of contempt, disgust and a hint of sorrow and then deliberately announced “Mr Martin you come Captain Garcia now“. Upon hearing this I was filled with dread visions of police beatings bombarding my brain but still I managed to say goodbye to my cell mates and then I slowly raised myself, took two steps to the door and next thing I knew I was walking down that same corridor heading towards an uncertain future and a meeting with a swarthy Filipino cop who literally held my life in his hands.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 20


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 20:

My brief brush with the law.

Now you can imagine how I felt, here I was dealing with the inevitable feelings of grief together with a massive hangover which felt like jack hammers pounding inside my head together with a serious lack of sleep and here are two cops asking me in halting English to accompany them down to the police station “to assist them with their enquiries.” I remember answering the door draped only in a Mayfair hotel towel with disheveled hair and bloodshot eyes. I must have looked quite a sight because the police were visibly taken aback by my appearance and readily agreed that I could take a shower before accompanying them to the police station. They told me they would be waiting downstairs and with this I closed the door and stumbled towards the shower.

30 minutes later I was down stairs and feeling nearly human I asked the cops if they could wait while I had a coffee so as to wake up. They readily agreed and looked at me with expectant faces as if it was my obligation to buy them a coffee as well. 3 coffees later one for me and one each for the policemen I was led out through the front gate with one of the cops holding my arms and pushed into some kind of van with the letters PNP painted on the side. I distinctly remember noticing that they had guns but I asked myself would they use them if I attempted to run. I looked at the little guy holding my arm and decided he was not big enough to stop me should I try to bolt but then common sense got the better of me and I realized I had done nothing wrong as far as Hilda was concerned so what was the harm in accompanying them to the police station.

The ride to the cop shop was not exactly a luxury limo and it did not help matters that I had no idea where the heck I was going and the two cops just sat beside me stony faced and would not engage in conversation no matter how hard I tried. Inside the paddy wagon it was hot and as I started to sweat one of the cops gave me a half hearted smile as if to indicate he was thoroughly enjoying my discomfort. These cops were not exactly friendly and I noticed they kept their hands within very close proximity to their holstered guns as if I was some kind of dangerous criminal.

After about 40 minutes we arrived at the police station where one cop jumped out while the other cop grabbed my arm and bundled me out of the van. Once outside the cops seemed to visibly puff up their chests and both grabbed one arm each and herded me into the station house. Once inside I noticed a mass of people and all heads turned to view this bad foreigner who had committed some sort of heinous crime. Without letting go of my arms they took me to the front desk where some rapid Tagalog was spoken then I was pushed along the corridor and into a room with two chairs and a single wooden desk. I was told to sit on the chair and the inspector would be along shortly to question me.

At this stage I was wondering just what the heck was going on. I looked around the room for some sort of camera but could not find any. I knew I was in deep shit but at the same time I also realized they didn’t really have anything on me because I wasn’t handcuffed and I had not been officially charged with anything. I sat on the small metal chair the type that seems to proliferate in the Philippines and are designed to give maximum discomfort especially for larger foreigners. I waited for what seemed like an eternity and found myself leaving the chair periodically to pace round the room. After a while the room to the door opened and in walked a well groomed bespectacled man who introduced himself as Captain Garcia and motioned for me to pull my chair a little closer to the desk as he had some questions he wanted to ask me.

Captain Garcia was carrying a small tape recorder and as he started the questions he turned it on then looked me straight in the eyes with one of the most piercing looks I have ever had the misfortune of encountering. Garcia also had a number of papers which he made a point of looking at and shuffling around before beginning the questioning. Over the years of living here I have noticed on multiple occasions the Filipino bureaucrats love of paper work as if it somehow makes them feel important and validates whatever their official position is. After a prolonged paper shuffle Captain Garcia raised his head and gave me another penetrating look as he slowly began his questions.

He started by mispronouncing my name and getting me to spell it correctly and then asked, “Mr Martin can you speak Tagalog” to which I replied, “no sir I have only been in the country for three months so I have not had time to learn it but I would very much like to if given the opportunity“. This caused Captain Garcia to give me a wry mile but only a momentary one and instantly he was poker faced again as he renewed his questioning. Well then Mr Martin he replied I will question you in English. With this a visible sigh of relief escaped me as I knew this would give me a small psychological advantage. Garcia had obviously decided a somewhat subtle approach was called for and he began his questioning tentatively. “Tell me Mr. Martin why did you come to the Philippines” and I replied I came to have a holiday captain”. “Three months is a long time for a holiday, what have you been doing all this time”? Well now I was a little confused as I wasn’t sure where this was heading but I figured there was no point lying so I told him I had been visiting bars mainly with my friends David Goldshaft and Ken Carbery both of whom lived here and ran the Mayfair Hotel. I also told him both these people knew where I was just as a sort of bluff and I was sure they would be contacting my embassy if I did not return.

My bluff did not seem to phase Garcia at all as he simply smiled at me and replied, “Mr Martin at this stage your embassy is not necessary we are only holding you for questioning you are not under arrest“. This made me feel somewhat better so I replied, “thank you for the clarification Captain and I will do my very best to answer any questions you ask me”. With the battle lines now subtly drawn Garcia continued his questions. Mr Martin where did you meet the recently deceased Miss Hilda Delgardo. In answer to the question I relayed the story how I had met her in punch line bar and how we had become good friends. He then asked me did I think Hilda was in love with me to which I replied Captain what man knows what a woman is truly thinking or feeling”. The Captain was momentarily taken back by this answer but quickly recovered his composure to try another tack as he asked me “how would you describe your relationship with the deceased” I told him we were very good friends and lovers. He then asked me if I would describe Hilda as an emotional woman to which I replied “ compared to what? All women are emotional but Hilda did not seem more emotional than any other woman I have met“.

By this time I was wondering what the Captain was getting at, it was very obvious he was trying to work out some sort of angle but I couldn’t see what it was. The Captain then asked me how much time had I spent with Hilda and I answered him by telling him about our trip to Boracay. He then asked me, ”so you were close to Miss Delgardo and she was close to you” to which I replied yes we were close friends and lovers”. At this point Captain Garcia obviously decided he was not getting anywhere with this line of questioning and he promptly switched to another tact. Mr Martin what were the pills Miss Delgardo took”? I explained that they were quinine pills designed to protect people from contracting Malaria. When he heard this he seemed somewhat surprised but recovered quickly enough to say Mr Matin we do not have Malaria here in the Philippines to which I replied “I don’t mean to contradict you sir but you do have malaria here especially in Palawan where I was planning on visiting“. Garcia then looked at me with a look that said don’t me too much of a smart ass boy and proceeded to carry on with his questioning. Mr Martin are you in the habit of leaving dangerous drugs within easy access of others”? I replied, “no sir I am not but it never occurred to me that Hilda would take an over dose and normally sir quinine tablets are not dangerous if only taken in moderation“.

Garcia had come up against another dead end but he wasn’t finished yet. Mr Martin are you aware that Miss Delgardo was pregnant to which I answered “yes sir I am but that was not my baby”. Upon hearing this he looked at me enquiringly and then asked, “if you knew it was not your baby why then did you take her to Boracay“. I explained to him how I never knew about the baby until we were actually down in Boracay and by that time it was to late to do anything about it. He then asked how did you feel about the baby belonging to another man?” I thought this was a somewhat bizarre question but I told him the truth “to be honest sir I was actually quite relieved because I do not know if I am ready to be a father yet”. He then asked me were you prepared to take responsibility for the baby?” and I replied I was prepared to help Hilda when the baby was born because she was a nice person and a good friend but that was all. I was not prepared to accept full responsibility for the baby.”

The questioning went on for another half hour and Captain Garcia tried a number of questioning lines but it soon became obvious there was nothing he could pin me on and the good Captain would soon have to give up the fight. Finally the Captain had, had enough but as his departing salvo he announced, “Mr Martin I believe from what you have stated and the evidence before me that this was a crime of passion and consequently we will hold you in the cell until such time we have completed our investigation.” When I heard this I could not believe it and I said to the Captain excuse me sir but I have committed no crime, Hilda committed suicide and that has nothing to do with me.” Garcia gave me another one of his piercing looks and replied Mr Martin the Philippine legal system will be the one to decide your guilt or innocence and until that decision is made you will be held by the PNP.”

C How They Made Me! Chapter 19


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 19:

Aftermath:

Like I have said numerous times, when I first came to the Philippines I was a comparative stranger to death and tragedy however life in the Philippines is tenuous at the best and very soon both death and tragedy were to become all too familiar, as were the feelings associated with them. When I saw Hilda slip away I immediately thought of the Dylan Thomas poem “Do not go gentle into that good night . . . . . . . . . . . . . . rage, rage against the dying of the light” and I wanted to reach out and help her. I wanted to tell her no don’t go, don’t leave me, don’t leave this life there is so much more for you. I wanted to reach out and give her my life force to make her strong, I wanted to see her quirky little smile and hold her in my arms. I wanted to hear her voice as she struggled to communicate with me in halting English, I wanted to hear her laugh and cry, I wanted her to be the Hilda I knew and loved but now before my eyes all of this was fading away and from this point on was only to be memories. Hilda obviously wasn’t the type to rage against the dying of the light and as I stood there watching through the foggy haze of tears she slipped gently into that good night never to be seen again.

When someone close to you passes away there are the inevitable questions which assail your mind, what if I had done something different, why wasn’t I there, could I have done something to change this situation, what if I had never done this or that? There are feelings of remorse, feelings of guilt and worst of all feelings of emptiness like part of your life has been taken away and you can never get it back. All the different possibilities flow through your mind but in the end there is only one inevitable conclusion and that is someone has passed away and you will never see that person or what they represented in your life again, all that is left is the memories.

When I saw Hilda pass gently into the night I didn’t know what to do I was bombarded by a myriad of feelings and emotions. I felt sad and helpless I felt anger at the futility of the situation, I felt like someone had taken a part of my life away, I felt like someone had wrenched a part of my soul through my rib cage and out of my body. There was an intense feeling of sorrow and devastation combined with a feeling of emptiness. For me I tried to assuage myself with platitudes such as, hey Martin death is just another part of the cycle of life, death is something that happens to us all at some time or another , she has gone to a better place, for those left behind life goes on etc, etc. Platitudes like this certainly serve their purpose and they provide psychological support helping the people left behind in the land of the living deal with the intense emotions produced by someone’s passing away but in the end they cannot hide the fact that someone is dead and they can never stop the feelings of grief and anguish that stricken those of usleft behind.

When Hilda passed away my initial feeling was one of emptiness. It just hit me to the point where I was numb and to some extent in denial. I think this is a natural self defense mechanism when someone dear to you dies. It’s like a feeling of disbelief a feeling that this can’t possibly be true this can’t really be happening. I remember the feelings of pain assailing me the feelings of desolation and emptiness and I remember just walking out of the hospital like a zombie totally devoid of any feeling, I was just going through the motions, I was on auto pilot, my body was there and functioning but I was not inside it I was somewhere else coming to terms with what had just happened. I can vaguely remember reaching the front door of the hospital when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back to the main reception area where I was asked to sign some papers which were resolutely shoved under my nose I can remember giving the details of the Mayfair Hotel and instructing them to send whatever medical bills had been incurred to that address with nowhere to go like state in a daze I just walked out of the hospital. I can remember someone chasing me and pulling my arm, I can remember walking back into the hospital signing some papers shoved in front of my nose and giving someone the contact details of the Mayfair hotel. After that it was a stroll through the doors and out onto the street to hail a cab to take me back to the Mayfair.

In the cab on the way to the Mayfair I sat in the back totally devoid of thought or feelings, it was like I was a total blank. I realized I should have been feeling something but it wasn’t happening, I was like a blank slate, a living zombie. I arrived back at the Mayfair paid the driver and still in a trance like state walked into the outside reception area plonked my ass down on the plastic chair and said to Mario the bar tender, “give me a double Jack Daniels and coke”. Mario heard the tone in my voice took one look at my face and within seconds I had a double Jack Daniels and coke in my hand. I scoffed down the Jack and coke and promptly ordered 2 more. I was half way through my fifth one when I felt a presence besides me and looked up to see Dave standing above me with a worried frown etched on his face. “You all right mate” he asked to which I replied, “I will be after I finish this bottle of Jack” and with that I proceeded to gulp down my current glass full and asked Mario to bring two more. Dave was not exactly a prolific drinker as his emphasis was on chasing pussy more so than getting drunk and partying with the boys but I guess he empathized with me and could see my pain so he drew up a seat and said “pour me one of those Mario I think I will join Martin for a drink”.

They say that with the passing away of a relative or a loved one those left behind will require a period of grieving and I can certainly attest that this is true. They also say that to drown ones sorrows is good temporary relief and I can further attest that this is most certainly true. David Goldshaft was certainly not the biggest of drinkers but he managed to sit with me for 3 or so hours as we finished off one bottle and started on another. During this three hour period David was a rock he just sat and listened as I poured my heart out on his sleeve and only interjected when he felt it would help me. When it comes to grief and the painful feelings associated with the loss of someone close I theorize that as humans we are incapable of handling the intensity of these emotions so rather than face them we tend to compartmentalize them, we put the feelings in mental boxes and keep those boxes in a far corner of our mind only to be opened on the very rare occasion when a particular situation warrants it. Even though I was feeling numb I had not totally compartmentalized my anguish and as I drank the implications of what had happened to Hilda hit me like a sledgehammer. Luckily David was there to keep me calm and after about three hours of solid drinking I vaguely remember stumbling up the stairs to my room with my arm around his shoulders then collapsing on the bed watching the room spin around me when I closed my eyes. I have no idea how long I was lying on the bed but the next thing I knew was awoken by a knocking sound inside my head. Feeling like death warmed up I awoke and through bloodshot eyes and a throbbing headache I realized there was someone insistently knocking on my door. I mumbled something like come in but then realized the door was locked so still holding my throbbing head I got up and opened the door only to be confronted by two uniformed policemen. “Is your name Mr Martin” they asked and when I replied in the affirmative they then said “Mr Martin we invite you to accompany us to the station”. I looked at them somewhat befuddled and then managed to mumble, “what the hell for” to which they replied, “to assist us with our inquiries into the death of Miss Hilda Delgardo sir”.