Monthly Archives: April 2012

C How They Made Me! Chapter 42


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 42:

Masbate or bust.

As with any woman when her man comes home late in the evening Rosie was suspicious but as it turned out even though she was suspicious she didn’t seem to be to angry. At the time I felt immensely relieved but in hindsight I probably should have questioned her lack of emotion which was to become somewhat of a trademark of mine and Rosie’s relationship. I was thinking what a cool woman she is and how lucky I was to have escaped the wrath of a Filipina spurned but in fact the opposite was true. Rosies lack of reaction was not because I was lucky and not because she was a super cool woman but simply because she didn’t really have any emotional attachment for me. I was just a temporary ride which she would utilize until it no longer suited her. At the time I did not realize this so I just thanked my lucky stars and started making preparations for her and myself to visit Masbate.

It took me all of 25 minutes to pack for Masbate because all it really involved was throwing a few pairs of jeans, shorts shirts and shoes into my rucksack plus I reasoned I really wouldn’t need much because we were going to a rural island where life was pretty simple and no doubt moved at a snails pace. After packing Rosie and I made our way downstairs where Koripot Bob was waiting for us with his usual San Miguel beer in hand and a large sports bag by his side. “Ready to go when you are mate” he said, “just gotta finish me beer then youze guys call the taxi and we’ll get on the way to Masbate”.

Rosie and I ventured outside where the friendly guard hailed us a taxi and loaded ours and Bobs bags into the boot and we headed of to the harbor for our ferry ride to Masbate. Harbors in any country seem to attract the seedier elements of life and Manila harbor is no exception. As the taxi pulled over we paid the driver unloaded the baggage and almost immediately we were surrounded by a horde of sweat ridden Filipinos dressed in ragged shorts and dirty singlet’s. Most of them had facial hair and were wearing bandana’s with flip flops for their shoes. Under other circumstances this might have felt like being a movie star but this lot was far from the paparazzi and it was more like being surrounded by a swarthy mob of hungry Filipinos.

At first I was a little worried by the mobs attention but then another car pulled up and dropped some people off so while the mobs attention was distracted I seized the opportunity to gently push my way through the remaining throng and started walking towards the nearest big building that I could see assuming that this was the ticket office. As it turned out I was correct and a short but hot stroll later we were inside the office standing in line to buy tickets for the ferry to Masbate. In normal countries you can expect to see the various sections of a ticket selling station clearly labeled but this was not the case here. There were three separate lines here and I had no idea which one was the line for Masbate. I looked at the lines but still having no clue which one to choose I asked Rosie to ask the people and next thing I knew myself and Bob were pushed towards the middle line where Rosie told us to wait because she had to visit the CR.

Of course we were in the Philippines so I knew it would be hot and whilst I realized that it was probably to much to ask for an air conditioner a wall fan or something just to circulate the air would have been much appreciated. Of course there was only one small fan in some far recess and within minutes Bob and myself were standing in line sweating like weightlifters before a dope test. Rosie seemed to take for ever but just before it was our turn to reach the counter she reappeared and took control of the ticket purchasing. In a rapid torrent of Tagalog Rosie did the communication duties and next thing I knew I was handing over 3000 pisos for Bobs myself and Rosie’s tickets. Rosie handed over the money and was given the tickets in return. Another burst of Tagalog happened and next thing I knew I was being pulled by the shirt by Rosie and told, “this way to ferry”.

Rosie seemed in a hurry but when I asked her why all she could say was, “we go boat now much better we make hurry get good room”. After a brisk walk we were soon at the pier were the ferry was loading and Rosie was literally pulling me up a large ramp and onto the boat. As we entered the boat I felt like we were on some kind of floating scrap heap. Inside it was dimly lit and it took a moment for our eyes to adjust. As we entered into the main section an odor of sweat and animals feces wafted towards our noses. The main area was a large space with people and animals scattered all over the wooden floor and next to them was an assortment of animals ranging from chickens and roosters through to dogs cats and goats. For a moment there I thought I was on Noah’s Ark but that illusion was shattered when a nearby rooster let out a piercing crow just to remind me I was in the Philippines. I don’t know about you guys but I have always found the Philippine rooster extremely annoying. As far as I knew roosters were supposed to crow at the rising of the sun but Philippine roosters will crow most of the day and constantly throughout the night. Up to this point I hadn’t really suffered from the roosters exercising their vocal chords but if there was one thing from this trip that made an indelible impression on my memory it was the crowing of roosters throughout the day and at all hours of night. To this day 20 years later I have an aversion to roosters and I am sure it is a result of this trip.

Rosie entered the main area and started wading her way through the sea of humanity and wildlife towards a small little guy in the far corner. This guy was dressed in what looked like some sort tattered uniform so I assumed he was some sort of boat official. Deciding that it was better to follow Rosie rather than just stand there gaping so we both hoisted our baggage and waded into the crowd pretending to be oblivious of the stares the locals were giving us. The walk through the main cabin was uneventful and we managed to make it across the room without stepping on anyone or injuring anyone’s precious animal.

By the time we got there Rosie was in animated discussion with the boat guy until finally he looked at Rosie, looked at myself and Bob and then said follow me sir. Not knowing what was going on but having decided, ‘go with the flow’ was the best approach, Bob and myself followed Rosie and the guy without a word until we reached a cabin with 2 bunk beds. Our guide stepped aside and then waved us through indicating that we should enter the cabin then as we entered he remained standing at the doorway with an expectant look on his face. I asked Rosie what is up with this guy and she told me he is waiting for his tip. Waiting for a tip I asked, why should I give him a tip”? Rosie looked at me as if I was some dumb foreigner and said “because he is the one to get room”.

I have always been a firm believer in spontaneity but sometimes I recognize the need for planning and as such I had made a few enquiries about the trip to Masbate. Consequently I knew they had private cabins on the ferry and I also knew the trip would take up to approximately 20 hours of traveling, but no matter how much planning I did nothing could prepare me for the reality of this trip. The cabin was not exactly what I would call first class being composed of two bunk beds and a passage so narrow two persons could not fit in when standing side by side. As far as I can remember there was a small air conditioning vent in the far right hand corner through which semi cold air filtered into the cabin and in the other corner was an overhead wall fan. Rosie and myself grabbed the top bunk while Bob was relegated to the bottom bunk and rather than mingle with people and animals outside we settled down for a little rest waiting for the boat to get under way. I knew this trip was going to be a long ordeal and I knew by the end of it I would probably hate the inside of this cabin but given a choice between mingling with the horde of people and animals in the main area or being tucked away safely in the cabin with Rosie and Bob, the cabin all of a sudden began to look quite attractive.

We had been traveling for about five hours when all of a sudden I was feeling a pressing urge to visit the toilet and Rosie of course was feeling hungry so together we decided to brave outside the cabin while Bob was slumbering peacefully. Once outside Rosie and myself had to navigate a mass of slumbering bodies all lying on the floor as we slowly made our way towards the toilet area. Everywhere I looked there were people either lying prone or just sitting and the only place people were standing was the line in front of the toilets. I stood in line for about three minutes and after doing my business at the over crowded urinal I walked outside to find an impatient Rosie waiting for me. When she saw me coming out she gave me one of those it’s about time looks, grabbed my hand and started leading me through the mass of bodies towards what looked like a small canteen in the far corner.

Eventually we made it over to the canteen where Rosie surveyed what was available and was soon ordering some instant noodles together with sky flake crackers. The lady behind the counter was staring at me as if she had seen some kind of ghost until Rosie said something in Tagalog which seemed to snap her out of her reverie and she proceeded over to a thermos from which she poured hot water onto the noodles and then delivered it to Rosie whilst still giving me furtive glances. Rosie paid the girl 20 piso then with a deliberate show of female power planted a great big kiss on my lips and said, “come cabin honey, Rosie has special for you”.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 41


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 41:

Short time in Manila

So there we were stuck on Batangas pier with our luggage nowhere to be seen and the vultures dressed as porters were circling ever closer. I looked at Bob with panic in my eyes when Rosie said “wait boy bring bag now”. I looked back towards the ferry and sure enough there was a line of guys all laden down with luggage negotiating the ten foot gang plank. I immediately had visions of my bag falling in the water but these boys were as sure footed as a mountain goat and next thing I knew my bag was in a pile along with the others lying on Batangas pier. Rosie and I quickly gathered my bag and then we made our way to the local bus being hounded by the proters the whole way “we carry your bag sir”, “I be the one sir”. Travelling by local bus is always a chore especially since the Filipinos have a tendency to push and shove rather than stand in line and proceed in an orderly fashion. This was made even worse by the Filipino porters dogging us every step of the way insistent that they carry our luggage.

Eventually we managed to fight our way onto a bus where of course there were no seats available except right up the back so with Bob and myself forming our equivalent of the All Blacks rolling mall we pushed our way into the back seats and waited for the bus to get going and take us to Manila. In those days the trip was normally a good 4 hours and this was to be no different. I don’t know how many of you have ever had the misfortune of traveling on a local Filipino bus but trust me it is an experience that is somewhat unique. The roads are sub standard and they pack the Filipinos in way above the buses legal carrying capacity. Normally there are two rows of seats with the aisle down the center but on the provincial buses they suddenly break out the miniature plastic chairs which are some of the smallest chairs I have ever seen and then the passengers sit on these in the aisle making it just about impossible to negotiate the aisle way if you have to get out of the bus.

Outside every town there are vendors and the bus seems to stop for them and when it does they pile on and negotiate the length of the bus trying to peddle their various foods. The food they are pushing ranges from Chicheron deep fried pork fat through to quail eggs and chicken feet. In those days it must have been unusual for the vendors to see foreigners because they would work their way through the bus then when they got tom Bob and myself they would simply stand there and stare. Then when I stared back it seemed to dawn on them that we were actually real people and not figments of their imagination and straight away they would try to push the food products on us holding them right next to our faces. When this got no response they would start on Rosie saying “Mam Mam Chicheron Mam”. After about the tenth time this got really annoying so Bob and simply donned our sunglasses and pretended to be asleep every time the vendors approached us. This left Rosie to handle them which she did rather well. At first she would decline their offer politely then when they became insistent she would let fly with a torrent of Tagalog that would have made Cardinal Sin blush.

We eventually arrived at the Mayfair hot, sweaty and dirty from the hours of traveling. After checking in I headed for the shower then gave Rosie a quick welcome back to Manila round. After that we took a shower together then she hurriedly dressed and said she would be back later in the evening but she had to go now as she had some family stuff to take care of before leaving to the province. I asked her for an approximate time she would return and received an answer of maybe ten or something like that. In other words she had no idea what time she would be back and even if she did she wasn’t about to tell me. Over the years I have noticed that Filipinas are often scared to commit and this sacredness of commitment will often manifest itself in being unable to commit to a time or for that matter a relationship or even a simple promise.

After Rosie left I decided to crash out for a while and it seemed like I had only been sleeping for a matter of minutes when I was rudely woken up by the intrusive ringing of the telephone. Through sleep laden eyes I fumbled around for the phone only to be greeted by Bobs cheery voice on the other end saying, “hey wake up mate it’s time for a beer and some pussy hunting”. If that had of happened at my current age I would have simply taken the phone off the hook and gone back to sleep but in those days I was young, invigorated and much more enthusiastic so I replied, “give me twenty mate and I will meet you downstairs”.

At this stage I had never been bar hopping with Bob in Manila before and I was about to discover a whole new world of ‘koripot’ bar hopping where getting the most out of every piso was the primary objective. My natural inclination was to go to the bigger bars where there were more girls and more customers. I was attracted by the bright lights, the number of girls and by what I call only call the vibrancy of the M.H.Del Pilar big bars. However Bob who was a more experienced campaigner than myself preferred the quieter smaller bars where he could be the center of attention, there was less competition and the girls according to him were more service orientated at a cheaper price. For Bob bar hopping wasn’t so much about hanging out with the boys but more about finding the right girl, with the right attitude for the right price.

We exited the Mayfair and proceeded along Mabini Street but instead of turning off to M.H.Del Pilar Bob motioned for us to keep going along Mabini until we reached the end where there was a group of bars which we entered. The main one of these was a bar called Slouch Hat which still exists to this day 20 years later. For some reason this small group of bars survived the ravages of Mayor Lim and continue to do business much like they did twenty years ago.

Very obviously this was not Bob’s first visit as he strolled in here like a lackadaisical Australian cocky, sat down at the bar where he was greeted by name and proceeded to order two san Miguel beers. At this stage I was still comparatively new to the country so I was still enjoying San Miguel and it wouldn’t be until a further 2 years that I would learn to avoid the stuff wherever possible. At that stage there was a small dance stage which featured about three dancers and the rest of the girls were something like Guest Relations Officers (GRO) who mingled throughout the room just chatting to customers and subtly hustling ladies drinks. This was a very laid back scene completely different from the glitzy clubs with bright lights, thumping music and hundreds of drunken customers that symbolized M. H. Del Pilar. To be honest at that stage in my life I really didn’t find anything that excited me in this scene and even today 20 years later I still find myself attracted to shall we say the more commercialized bars which have a more energetic ambience. Having said this there is definitely a place for bars such as the Slouch Hat and today even in sin city Angeles there are numerous similar bars that are frequented by locals, long term tourists and the older generation of bar hoppers.

We stayed in Slouch Hat for about one hour and even though many of the girls came and said hello to me there was nothing there that struck my fancy and after Bob had chosen his girl I thanked Bob for his introduction to this bar scene and then announced that I was heading towards M.H Del Pilar to catch up with a few friends and have a few drinks. Bob seemed happy with this and said Okay mate no worries I’m going to take me girl here back to the Mayfair and do what a mans gotta do”. He then gave his girl a little pat on the bum and said giddy up love it’s time we finished our business at the hotel”. I am not sure if the girl understood him or not but when she got patted on her behind she let out a little giggle and grabbed hold of Bobs arm virtually pulling him out of the bar and back to the hotel.

I saw Bob and girl into a taxi and then walked the short distance to M.H.Del Pilar where I was confronted with Flames bar which is right next to the Iseya Hotel. During these years Flames was more of a daytime bar and although it had definitely seen better days it was one of those bars that customers developed a real loyalty to and it was one of those bars that the genuine mongerer should always periodically check out. To find a comparison in modern day Angeles is quite hard but the closest I can come is the Welcome Inn. Just like Flames the Welcome Inn usually only has a very limited number of good looking girls but it is one of those bars that people feel compelled to check out periodically because you never knew when a new batch of ladies will come and the party will kick in. Flames was not a party bar and it had certainly seen better days but still thanks to David I was aware of its reputation and I thought it might be worth a visit.

As I entered Flames my eyes were drawn to the stage where there was about ten girls dancing and there right in the center of the stage was this ravishing beauty that no sooner did I see her I knew I had to have her. I sat down slightly back from the bar ordered a Jack Daniels coke and then tried to make eye contact with the new dream girl. After repeated attempts at getting her attention and being rebuffed I figured out to call a waitress over and ask her to fetch the girl for me as I wanted to buy her a drink. I have often found that the best way to get a girl down from the stage is ask a waitress to do it for you. This will normally cost a drink or two for the waitress but once you have done this you have gained a loyal business friend who will source out the hot looking girls for you simply because it’s in her best financial interests to do so.

The waitress called the girl down and I bought them both a drink. The waitress was named Sandy and she introduced the dancer as Angela. As soon as Angela sat down I saw that I had made a damned good choice as this woman was absolutely ravishing. Angela had almond shaped dark brown eyes, a beautiful dark chocolate brown complexion, a tight little bubble butt and legs all the way to heaven. She strolled across the room with natural athletic grace and then sat down next to me giving me a radiant smile that just melted my defenses like a laser cutting through butter.

Talking to Angela was like a breath of fresh air not only was she stunningly beautiful but she had a good grasp of English and her personality was genuinely bubbly and happy. Angela and I chatted for what seemed like hours and when I popped the bar fine question she smiled that dazzling smile and said sure I like you pay mummy I change clothes. With that said Angela headed off to the change rooms while I paid the bills and next thing I knew we were inside a taxi heading towards trusty old Anito Lodge.

Upon reflection I realize that I wasn’t really expecting Angela to be an awesome experience sexually. It was almost like I was thinking this woman is so good in every way I bet she won’t be good in bed, it was almost like I was afraid to expect perfection just in case I was let down. I am really glad to report that Angela was nothing short of spectacular this young woman was an extremely attentive lover who wasn’t shy to try various positions and she did so with gusto and eagerness. This young lady wasn’t a firecracker or particularly vocal but she was energetic and enthusiastic and it was really hard to control my urge to climax especially when she was riding me and those perfectly round tits which resembled ripe papayas were giggling in front of me as she slithered up and down my rock hard cock. Angela was one of those rare Filipinas who had multiple orgasms and it took all my self control not to climax and stay hard while this nubile young lady satisfied herself.

I think were probably at it for forty minutes or so when I said to myself hey Martin you have done a good job at self control but now its your turn. With this thought completed I rolled Angela over and mounted her from behind. Doggy style or style dog as the Filipinas call it has always been my favorite and this was certainly the case with Angela. Her cute little buns just stuck up in the air inviting me to spank her as I pounded her from behind.

I think in the end Angela and I did 3 rounds in a matter of hours and then as we finished I remembered that Rosie was supposed to be meeting me at the Mayfair so I had better get my ass back there pronto and claim just another drunken night with some good mates. I quickly showered making sure not to get my hair wet and then exited Anito holding hands with Angela only to walk out into the beginning of another day with the sun coming up over Malate church. Amongst devout promises to go and see Angela again I loaded her into a taxi complete with a five hundred peso note in her delicate little palm and then hailed myself a cab to head back to the Mayfair Hotel.

On the way back I rehearsed in my mind the excuses I was going to give Rosie but these all went out of my head as upon arrival the Mayfair guard opened the taxi door and said Sir Martin you in big problem, Mam Rosie she wait outside room for long time now and she make to much angry to you”. Oh shit I thought to myself here we go again and assuming my very best sheepish crestfallen look I slowly walked into the Mayfair to face the music.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 40


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 40:

Province here we come

Of course when Rosie heard my trip to the province proposition she instantly accepted. Many people think that a Filipina will not like to take you down to the province because she is ashamed of her humble origins however I have never found this to be true. In fact I have always found that if a girl likes you she will be more than willing to take you down to the province introduce you to her family and generally spend time with you. For these girls the foreigner boyfriend is often something of a minor status symbol and a sign that they have landed potential support for the family. On the other hand it is also normally a sign that the girl is working in the bar but the Filipinos tend to turn a blind eye to this preferring to concentrate instead on the fact that there is now a foreigner in the family and therefore potentially a whole new world is about to open for their daughter and hopefully the rest of the family as well. At best the foreigner is a ticket to a whole new world for many members of the family unit at worst he is economic security for the future.

On our way back to our little compound Rosie was excited and when we ran into Jovie she was excitedly telling her about our up and coming trip to the province. Eventually we made it back to our compound and as we entered I saw Koripot Bob, who had the hut next door to me, sitting on his porch tucking into his first San Miguel for the day. I waved at Bob and he waved back then Rosie ran up to his porch and excitedly announced that her and I were going to visit her province. Upon hearing this Bob suddenly seemed to perk up and he beckoned for Rosie to take a seat next to him and then enquired where is your province darling to which she replied Masbate and then out of the blue Bob asked me hey mate you mind if I come along I have always wanted to visit the province and I hear the girls in Masbate are really beautiful. When Rosie heard this she seemed to get excited and turning round to me she asked Mahal we bring Bob province diba? I wasn’t sure if Bob was joking or serious but it was very obvious that Rosie was very much in favor of him accompanying us and I figured the more the merrier , besides if it kept Rosie happy Bobs company would be very welcome.

That night we all sat around barbeque on the beach and I told the boys about my plans to go to the province with Rossie and Bob. The boys reacted in a surprisingly varied manner. Some just sniggered behind their hands, others just shook their heads and some were adamant in their efforts to try and persuade me not to go. Paramount amongst the later group was big Phil who seemed to have a real problem with Rosie and I going to the province. When I first made the announcement his reaction was incredulous disbelief and he asked, “mate are you really sure about this” to which I replied “yep I have looked it up and have decided I really want to go there. I mean there has to be more to life in the Philippines than chasing girls and sitting around on the beach getting drunk and stoned with your mates”. Straight away Phil responded well if you find something better than chasing pussy and drinking with your mates please let us know mate because none of us have ever found anything better and we’ve been coming here for years”.

From the back the little group I heard a snigger then little Jimmy buckets piped up and said, “no offense Marty but I wouldn’t be going down to the province if I was you” to which I asked why not mate don’t tell me it’s dangerous or something”? Not just dangerous with the bloody NPA crawling around everywhere but bloody primitive mate. I’m telling you Marty don’t do it”. I looked at Buckets and saw that he wasn’t joking then I replied okay mate thank you for your concern but I have made up my mind and I want to visit the province. Besides a little change of pace experiencing the rustic lifestyle will do me a world of good”.

Just then I was in for a surprise because from out of nowhere koipot Bob piped up and said ‘you know what mate I kinda fancy a trip to the province meself. Count me in mate I’m going with ya. Besides I have screwed all the good looking sheilas here anyway so lets check out the province and see what we can find there”. When Jimmy Buckets heard this he looked at Bob as if he had lost his marbles and just shook his head. Then he looked at me opened his mouth as if to say something but nothing came out and instead of issuing another warning he said, “you guys want a cold one. Just offering mate because you won’t find a cold beer in the province”.

That night turned into quite a session with the boys sitting round the camp fire in various states of inebriation while the girls just relaxed in their respective rooms doing whatever woman do while waiting for their drunken partner. Which reminds me one thing I don’t like about the Filipina is her tendency to gossip. All women love to gossip but the Filipina takes it to a whole new level. Filipinas can gossip like nobody else on the face of this earth. A chance to gossip is social interaction with like minded people, it is affirmation of ones opinions and best of all it is titillating and even scandalous something the Filipinas love due to their penchant for drama.

Late the next morning I woke up to the smell of fried fish wafting through my doorway so with a nasty throbbing hangover I stumbled out of bed across the room and opened my door to be confronted with Rosie and Jovie sitting on the balcony enjoying a good old gossip session while tucking into some fried fish and rice. When she saw me Rosie offered me some fish and rice but the thought of it made me queasy so I politely declined and headed towards the toilet.

After throwing up I headed towards the bed again but Rosie was having none of that so while I was trying to sleep or at least rest my aching head in peace and quiet Rosie puttered around the small shack making as much noise as she possibly could. After about an hour of this I realized there was nothing I could do about it and there was no way I was going to get any sleep so I slowly extricated my aching body from the comfortable bed walked out the door and headed for the beach. In my experience there is nothing better for a hang over cure than a swim in the ocean and I could here the beach calling me.

Even though I had a pounding headache it didn’t take me long to get to the water and next thing I knew I was swimming under water then floating on my back just letting the refreshing water envelope me in its soothing caressing and in a couple of minutes I found my headache slipping away. After half an hour or so I was feeling decidedly human again and I decided I could now face the trip to Manila and from there down to the province.

On the way back to the hut I saw koripot Bob who was sitting on his balcony so I asked him “are you ready to go man, province here we come” and to my surprise he answered straight away, “yes mate, packed and ready to go when you are”. This really was quite a surprise for me. I had been expecting Bob to say no having had second thoughts and yet here he was ready to go before even I was. I was to find out why Bob was so keen to get to the province some 4 days later and let me tell you when I did find out I was simply amazed.

I entered my hut and there on my bed was a change of clothing and my suitcase already packed with everything we had bought to Peurto Galera. I looked at Rosie and said are you trying to tell me something, anyone would think you were in a hurry to get to the province or something. Rosie smiled and replied, “you change clothes now get ferry Peurto then bus Manila”. So now my decision was made and there was no putting it off we were heading towards Manila and from there heading down to the province. I sauntered to my doorway and yelled to Bob that we were leaving in ten minutes and he shouted back no worries mate, cant wait.

Loaded down with luggage the trip to Manila was more than a little precarious and extremely wearisome. First we had to lug it all the way to the bunka station in Sabang then onto the boat where we made our way to Peurto Galera. At Peurto Galera we waited 45 minutes sitting on the dock while the old ferry which was running late made its way towards us from Batangas. Sitting on the dock I was feeling particularly vulnerable but Bob and Rosie seemed oblivious of everything as Rosie in halting English explained to Bob what her province was like. I listened to Rosie’s stories half heartedly while keeping an eye on the people around me and next thing I knew the old local ferry was rounding the bend and making its way towards us slowly but surely.

These days on the trip to Peurto Galera there is a number of huge sea cats and even ocean going buka’s that regularly do the crossing but back in those days there was only one sea cat and the local ferry. Having resided in Sydney for most of my youth I was very much used to the old wooden ferries but the one heading our way made the Sydney Ferries look brand spanking new and the epitome of luxury. As the Ferry drew nearer I felt a sort of subtle excitement course through me because I knew when I stepped aboard this I was well and truly beginning my trip to the province.

The old ferry was the chosen means of transportation for most Filipinos simply because it was a third cheaper than the SeaCat but then again there was a price to pay for the cheaper fare and as the ferry drew near I was to find out in no uncertain terms what this price was. Basically this was the means of transport not only for Filipinos but for their livestock as well. Goats, chickens and just about any other animal used this ferry for traveling from Batangas to Peurto Galera. We waited while the passengers and animals disembarked and next thing I knew I was being pulled by the hand and pushed towards the boarding plank. I couldn’t see the need for a hurry but Rosie was most insistent and she pointed to Bob in front of us who was busy muscling his way in front of a pair of Filipino guys to get on the boat as quickly as possible. I asked Rosie what’s the hurry but all she could do was pull me by the hand. After pushing and shoving we managed to board the boat where Rosie literally threw her bag on the floor encouraged me to do the same and then pushed me towards the boats bow. As we navigated our way through plastic wrappers and animal feces it suddenly dawned on me that the prime seats were the ones in front of the boat where the air was fresh and we wouldn’t suffocate on the odors of animal feces.

Up the front of the boat we traveled in comparative luxury and it was a pleasant experience with the wind and ocean spray blowing in our faces. The trip took about 40 minutes to cross the Batangas channel and during that time I just hugged Rosie and gazed across the ocean lost in my own private reverie.

When we arrived at Batangas Port I was once again on my guard. It seemed like the squatter area by the water had gotten even bigger since we last saw it and the crowd of raggedy kids had increased also. When the boat docked we made our way together with the other passengers towards our luggage only to find an empty space where my bag should have been. I made worried gestures towards Rosie indicating that my bag was missing but all she could do was look at me with a vacant expression and as the boat emptied out I was left pondering where the heck was my bag and what was I going to do now that every article of clothing I had bought with me had suddenly gone missing. This was a lot more than a mere inconvenience, this was a hassle of the first degree.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 39


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 39:

The air is cleared and the province beckons

As much as I hated to admit it Rosie was right, if I was going to live in the same compound as these other guys I would have to confront them and try to mend the wounds especially with big Phil. I figured what Phil had done was wrong at least for me but then again it took two to tango and Rosie was not exactly blameless either. With my mind firmly made up I tried to shake Rosie awake but to no avail so I grabbed a quick shower then headed out the door to find big Phil and see what could be done to renew our friendship.

I found big Phil sitting on his balcony overlooking the ocean sitting there sipping a beer while a lady whom I had never met before grilled a fish on the barbeque besides his hut. As I approached I decided the casual approach was probably my best option so I simply strolled up to him and said “gooday mate sorry about the other night” to which he replied ah Marty I have been waiting for you come up here and have a fucking seat we have some unfinished business”. Upon hearing these words I looked at the size of the man and thought to myself I can run now and avoid this or I can take my beating like a man and put up some sort of fight. I realized that if I ran away I would lose all respect from Phil and his mates plus I would lose all self respect and most importantly I would never be able to face this man again. There are times in life when one just has to bite the bullet and endure the consequences of ones actions no matter how painful they are and this was certainly one of those times for me.

I looked up at him and decided “fuck it, if he is going to hit me I will try my best to get a few in and lets see what happens. I knew instinctively that running away or avoiding the man would just exacerbate the problem so I decided to confront the problem face to face. I walked up the three steps and sat in a chair besides Phil who no sooner had I sat down said to me “hey Marty go get us a couple of beers from the ice box will ya mate easier to talk with you over a beer”. Feeling like an errand boy I made my way inside Phils hut to find a cooler with ice and a dozen San Miguel beers inside. I grabbed two and then proceeded outside to continue my chat with Phil.

As I handed him the beer I started with the humble approach and said listen mate I am sorry for swinging at you in the disco and all that. It’s just that I was drunk and when I saw you dancing with my woman I jst saw red like a bull with a red flag. It wasn’t anything personal mate and I want to apologize” Apologizing for hitting a guy who had been fucking my girlfriend just didn’t make any sense at that time and I still felt my actions had been morally justified but at the same time I realized I had to live in the same compound as this guy and if eating a little humble pie would make the situation better then I was prepared to do that.

When he heard my words Phil gave me a lopsided smirk and said Marty you got a lucky one in mate, now I know how you fight I will be ready next time and then I’m going to kick the living shit out of you’. As he issued this promise the smirk vanished and became a scowl and I realized he was intensely serious. Upon hearing this I backed my chair away from him slightly and said mate where you and I come from you don’t fuck your mates girlfriend and let’s face it that’s exactly what you were doing and I was bloody pissed of. Phil looked at me with an expression of utter disbelief and said “Marty you are such a beginner you are not in Aus now mate so let me explain how things work around here”. I just want you to know I have been going with Rosie on and off for at least 2 years now long before you knew her and considered her your girlfriend. Mate you need to understand Rosie is a professional bar girl who has had more pricks than a pub dart board and she will never change. She will always fuck around on you mate because that’s the way it is over here and that’s the only way they know how to make extra money. Besides mate fucking is in the Filipinas blood they love it mate”.

For me Phil’s words were not exactly shocking but they were a bit harsh and bitterly truthful. Phil looked at me digesting his words and after a while he said there are a couple of other things you should know mate. Rosie was the one who approached me and she was the one who approached 3 other guys in the compound and we all gave her one mate. Upon hearing this my blood began to boil which must have been fairly obvious to big Phil as he reached across, put his hand on my shoulder and said relax Marty I have told you it’s nothing personal. It’s just that Rosie is a slut who needs to make money and the only way she knows how to do that is by fucking.”

I looked at Phil and replied yeah I get all that but the fact is she is my girlfriend, you are my mate and mates don’t do that to each other. Phil replied, “yeah we are mates and that’s why I told you I didn’t want you hearing it from somebody else”. That’s also why I said it’s nothing personal against you man and besides Rosie was my girlfriend long before she met you so get real mother fucker and realize where you are and what you are doing here. For me with my Australian scale of values everything Phil was saying went against the grain but somehow I knew where I was and what country I was in and Phils words in a distorted way made sense.

I looked at Phil and said you know what mate I am trying to see your point of view and to be honest I am caught between two worlds here. My Australian world tells me you are a cunt who has been fucking my girlfriend but in the Philippines I kind of understand where you are coming from. So mate lets just leave it at this Rosie is my girl now I will support her as best I can and I would appreciate it if you and the other boys could refrain from fucking her until she has split up with me. Phil sia that sfair enough mate I will pass the word along to the other blokes but in the meantime two more beers mate.

So there it was, I had confronted big Phil, I had stated my point of view, we had cleared the air, come to an agreement and best of all we were still friends. Okay I knew it was never going to be like before, at least not in my mind, but at least we were cordial and my existence would now hopefully be a little peaceful while I was spending time in Sabang.

After we had downed about 6 beers each had a good long chat and to some extent rekindled our friendship I told Phil I had to go see Rosie and I thanked him for the beer shook his hand and strolled back to my hut. As I walked I could feel Phils eyes on my back and I knew that even though we had reached a peace it was an uneasy one and the relationship could turn sour with only the slightest provocation.

I entered my hut, gently shook Rosie awake and told her lets go get something to eat. Rosie and I strolled down the beach until we came across what looked like a little outside eatery and Rosie’s eyes alighted on a fish being grilled and she was suddenly adamant that we should eat here. I had no idea what was so special about this fish but I wasn’t about to object as I am comfortable eating just about anywhere. We sat down in the plastic chairs at the plastic tables in the front of the eatery and Rosie in rapid Tagalog ordered some fish and rice.

As we sat there with me drinking a beer na beer and Rosie sipping on a mango juice she began to tell me about her life in the province. She regaled me with stories of her relatives, the food and her day to day existence in a very simplistic and in some ways hard world. She explained that whatever the fish was they were cooking was abundant in her province so when she saw this it bought back many happy childhood memories.

As we dined and listening to Rosie talk I saw another side of her that I had never seen before. She was animated and excited and it was very obvious that the province was close to her heart. When she talked about her experiences there she was continuously smiling and I could see she would love a visit back there. As for me I thought the situation here in Sabang was a little tense I had not really traveled in the Philippines and besides a trip to the province would make Rosie happy and probably earn me numerous brownie points in our relationship.

So now I was decided and as Rosie and strolled back to the hut I asked her “darling what is the name your province”. She looked at me deep in thought and responded “ano”. When I heard this I smiled and made up my mind to visit Captain Greg’s tomorrow where I could find a map and check out the location of her province named Ano.

The next day I woke up comparatively early and made my way to Captain Gregs where I knew if anywhere had some maps this would be the place. I made my way upstairs to the restaurant area and there sure enough were some maps of the Philippines. The girl there asked me what part of the Philippines am I looking for and I replied I am looking for the island Ano. Suddenly the girl started giggling and then said sir no island name Ano in the Philippines. But there must be I said because that’s what my girlfriend told me and why would she lie about something like that. The girl not sure if I was serious or not said sir I promise you no Ano in the Philippines. I looked at her in disbelief and said can I have a look at some maps anyway maybe I will be able to find or something with a similar name. The girl looked at me again and said certainly sir I will get you map of Visaya region because your girlfriends province probably there. With this said she ducked down behind a counter and then surfaced holding a large scroll type map which I took over to one of the tables ordered a cup of coffee and began to study the thing in earnest.

I studied the map for at least twenty minutes and was just about to give up when all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of that magical three letter word Ano. Feeling excited I quickly took the map over to the counter girl and presented it showing her the minute Island named Ano. The girl of course had to do a double take but there was no denying it there was the little island Ano. I asked the girl where this island was and how hard was it to get there and her reply was this island is near Cebu but she doubted I had met a girl from this island as it looked very small and the population was no doubt tiny as well. When she expressed her concerns I told her to keep the map open while I went and got my girlfriend and she could tell us if this was in fact her island Ano.

Forty minutes later I was back with Rosie in tow and then I showed her the map with the island Ano she simply burst out laughing. This was followed by a rapid dialogue with the counter girl then between them they poured over the map until they had found what they were looking for and then called me over to have the counter girl point at some island named Masbate and say “that is province Rosie sir”. I looked at this island named Masbate and asked why did she tell me her provinces name was Ano when it’s name is Masbate? This caused more laughter from the girls and in between giggles the pair of them managed to explain that Ano is a common expression used when they forget the actual name for something. Upon hearing this I had to laugh as well and then turning to Rosie still chuckling I asked her how would you like to visit your province with me?

C How They Made Me! Chapter 38


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 38:

Negotiating with Rosie

Having Rosie banging on the door and cursing me in Tagalog at the top of her lungs was a worrisome situation. The banging steadily go louder but Clare seemed oblivious as she kept on sleeping peacefully. I don’t know what it is but Filipinas seem to have that unerring ability to be able to sleep just about anywhere, even when there is another Filipina banging on the door and cursing loudly. When I suddenly heard Rosies voice and her banging on the door I temporarily froze and was at a complete loss what to do. On the one hand I could open the door and simply confront Rosie or I could open the door and play contrite and apologize or I could simply leave the door shut and hope that eventually she would go away. Knowing that the best defense is offense I decided to open the door and confront Rosie because in my book she had no right to be angry with me when she had been doing the same thing herself.

I answered Rosie “just wait please I will be out in a minute just let me get dressed please”. It took me about 1 minute to get my jeans on and splash some water on my face but I deliberately delayed opening the door figuring this was a subtle way of saying I am dictating the pace of this confrontation. In retrospect this was a mistake because all it did was make Rosie angrier but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do.

After 3 minutes I sauntered over to the door opened it only to be confronted by a fuming Rosie trying to push her way into the room. Now at this stage I was skinny but still a fairly big man and certainly big enough to stop a little Filipina entering the room if I really wanted to. At least that is what I thought until I opened the door and Rosie barged in, pushing me aside like I was made of thin air.

After entering the room Rosie stood at the end of the bed and screamed at Clare. Upon hearing Rosies voice Clare opened her eyes and said in perfect English hey girl you and I are the same. You leave him so I take him. Rosie seemed to momentarily digest this then launched herself towards Clare. As much as I would have loved to off seen a good cat fight I just couldn’t let it happen so quickly I grabbed Rosie’s arm and held her stationary while asking Clare to leave.

Non pulsed by any of this Clare simply looked at me, looked at the seething Rosie and said Ok lang. Looking back on it I realize what a cool customer Clare really was. In her mind Rosie had left an open opportunity and all she had done was take it. I had no idea if Clare could fight or not and I wasn’t in a hurry to find out but I did notice that she seemed to take her time getting ready to leave almost as if she was ready for me to release Rosie and let the fight begin.

Holding a struggling Filipina is like trying to reel in a game fish. It is hard work and they never stop struggling. Filipinas may not be big but they are strong and slippery as an eel, especially when they are “high blood”. Clare took her sweet time getting ready and then as she was leaving she said something to Rosie in Tagalog which made Rosie even angrier and struggle more intensely. Not all Filipinas can fight physically but every single Filipina that ever lived understands the art of bitchiness and Clare was no exception.

After Clare had left I let Rosie go and she promptly raced out the door and ran a hundred yards down the beach shouting and looking for Clare. Of course by this time Clare had made herself well and truly scarce however something told me the conflict between her and Rosie was far from over and I knew it would be carried on a later date some time in the future.

After stomping up and down the length of the beach looking for Clare Rosie eventually became resigned to the fact that she wasn’t going to find Clare at least not right now so the best option was to head back to the hut and give Martin some shit. Rosie barged her way into my hut and basically started screaming at me. I looked at her calmly and replied “either you calm down and we can speak or you take your belongings and get the fuck out of here”. With that I crossed the room pushed past her and took a seat on the porch overlooking the beach. Rosie followed me out and started to shout at me again so I told her “sit down and talk to me or your out of here”.

Rosie must have seen something in my eyes that told her I was serious because after giving me a hostile glare she begrudgingly sat down and said “you bastos why you have other girl”? At first I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and I said “you have got a nerve why shouldn’t I have a girl when you are fucking the other guys in this compound. She looked at me with a seething glare and said “different for me, I not man I just do for money you do because you like. You not give money Rosie sex money”.

So there it was the eternal double standard it was okay for the girl to fuck around because she was doing it for money whereas it was not okay for the man because he was only doing it for pleasure. This was my first encounter with this logic so I said “let’s get this straight, you think it’s ok to fuck around for money but not ok to fuck for pleasure?” Rosie looked at me as if I was a dullard and replied “syempre I fuck other man so you no have to give money”. So here was another confounding point, in Rosie’s mind she was having sex with other guys to make money and which was okay because then she didn’t have to ask me. For her this was tangible proof of the depth of her feeling for me.

Now to anyone with a normal western background this logic would be totally perverse and so it was for me and I found myself just sitting there shaking my head in disbelief. To be honest I was dumbfounded and had no idea how to respond so I just sat there speechless shaking my head in disbelief. The thing that really got me was that Rosie devoutly believed what she was telling me and to her it justified her actions whilst vilifying mine.

I remember arguing with Rosie for at least another hour and in the end we came to a compromise where I would give her a monthly allowance and be faithful to her and she would refrain from going with other guys. So by the end of the negotiations I had ended up promising to give Rosie money and also agreed to be stuck with one woman plus I had gotten the word of a long time bar girl that she was going to be faithful to me. And here’s the real problem at the time I was pleased as punch and thought I negotiated a really good deal for myself. When I look back on how naïve I was in those days it is simply mind boggling.

At that time I did not know any better and being used to dealing with Australian women I thought I was getting a pretty good deal. For me it was hey I got this good looking girl who in Australia wouldn’t even look at me and here she is saying she will only sleep with me if I just give her a monthly allowance. At the time I was still comparing these women and my environment to that in which I had grown up in and had formed my values. This is a big mistake many people make when they are first here. The truth of the matter is if you stand up for yourself being male and having the money you can control the relationship with a Filipina but at this stage I did not realize this and I was more than willing to accept Rosie’s negotiated terms and conditions.

After we struck a deal Rosie seemed to calm down a bit and she stood up grabbed my hand and pulled me into the hut. From there she began to tear my clothes off then laid me down on the bed while she did a little strip tease show. For a western woman this kind of erotic behavior is fairly common place especially amongst long term couples or in a paid for situation but for Filipinas they don‘t seem to have the strip tease as part of their male stimulation retinue.

Rosie danced for about 3 minutes discreetly rubbing herself all over me then when I tried to reach out and grab her she would skillfully avoid my grasping hands and continue on with her tantalizing performance. To be honest the dance was at best mildly entertaining as Rosie like most Filipinas only had a vague idea of how to tease but it wasn’t the dance itself which was important it was the thought behind it. It was the fact that she was trying her best to please me that I really appreciated.

After the dance and seeing my raging hard on Rosie simply squatted down and proceeded to suck my cock like there was no tomorrow. Over the years I have enjoyed numerous blow jobs from amorous Filipinas but to this day the most mind blowing one was the one Rosie was giving me in that little hut in Sabang. She started at the head gently licking and sucking then licked all the way down my shaft until she reached my balls which she gently took turns in sucking. Then when just as I thought I would blow my load she stopped and simply said “wait”. Rosie bought me to the brink of climax at least five times only to pull away just before the crucial moment to leave me teetering on the edge of an almighty orgasm the likes of which was going to rival the Mount Pinatubo eruption.

The blow job must have gone on for nearly ten minutes and I remember thinking so this is the true skills a girl learns in blow jobs and I wondered why it was only now that she decided to show me, why not before? Later I was to learn that Filipinas have a flair for amateur emotional based dramatics and the one good thing about having a fight with a Filipina is the “make up sex” which occurs after.

When it came to make up sex Rosie was an expert and I was the very happy be beneficiary. After the blow job she let me calm down a little then next thing I knew she had straddled me and was gyrating back and forth round and round on my shaft in a blissful world of her own. At this stage of proceedings I was virtually irrelevant and it was all about Rosie. For me this was an interesting experience because normally I was the one to be doing the using but now it was my turn to be used and I was just a means to an end. Rosie rode me for what seemed like an eternity until eventually the waves of an almighty orgasm began to course through her body and I watched as her eyes clouded over and she gave into the waves of orgasmic rush enveloping her body and mind.

The make up sex with Rosie was just fantastic and as we lay on the bed exhausted from our sexual acrobatics and listening to the small waves gently lap against the shore Rosie asked me “Rosie better than other girl honey?” To answer her I just smiled and thought to myself what a wonderful country I have just been caught red handed in bed with another girl and my punishment is to have a torrid sexual encounter with my steady girlfriend whose only purpose is to prove that she is better in bed than the other girl. My smug smile must have annoyed Rosie as when she saw it she punched my arm and said, “tell Rosie who better for you, Rosie or bitch girl”. Obviously my smug smile was not enough for her so I replied, “of course Rosie you are the best girl I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and I love you very much”. I am not sure how much of this she understood but it seemed to pacify her and she got up and headed for the bathroom she said over her shoulder “honey you talk Phillip, Rosie think he angry to you”.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 37


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 37:

Things come crashing down in Sabang

As I felt my knuckles crunch I knew I had made good solid contact with Phils jaw but there was a problem the big man was still standing albeit groggily and I decided then and there that the old saying he who fights and runs away lives to fight another day was the most appropriate course of action. Then just as I was about to make a hasty departure a fist came out of nowhere and clocked me right on the left side cheek bone sending me reeling backwards into Phil which caused both of us to fall down in a heap on the hard dance floor of Sabang Disco. I remember hitting the floor having the wind knocked out of me which seemed to hurt even more than my pounded cheek. When you get hit like this I think initially it is the shock that gets to you before the pain but all I knew at that moment was that I was feeling both. Further on down the road I was to find out it was John Cockeran who had hit me because all he had seen was me hitting his mate Phil but at the time I didn’t know that and as I lay there on the floor next to Phil I remember thinking next time I really have to watch out for punches from the side.

Even though big Phil in my book had done me wrong, (at this stage I hadn’t fully grasped the caring is sharing ethos), I did manage to see the irony in my current situation. After king hitting Phil unexpectedly I had received exactly the same treatment I had dished out and now both of us were lying on the ground together. If I hadn’t of been in so much pain I probably would have burst out laughing. As if Phil could read my mind he looked over at me kind of gave me a lopsided grin and said Marty you caught a good one you bastard and with that he slowly raised himself then once in an upright position delivered a solid kick to my stomach which caused me to curl up in pain and as he turned to walk away I heard big Phil some say people just don’t get it no matter how hard you try and explain.

I think I lay on the floor for about 2 minutes and the next thing I knew there was two Filipino guys trying to lift me up and put me on a chair . The Filipino guys got me upright and into a seat and next thing I knew there was an angry Rosie sitting next to me demanding to know why I bok bok her friend Phil. At first I couldn’t believe it as according to me she should have been feeling sorry for me and tending to my wounds but here she was the indignant female acting as if this was all my fault. Listen Rosie I know you have been going with Phil and I am bloody angry and I reckon I have a right to be angry you are supposed to be my girlfriend”. When she heard this Rosie was momentarily nonplused but recovered quickly to say what you mean go with Phil I not do anything Phil, hey girl I replied you can’t play innocent with me I know what you do because Phil told me. With this said Rosie momentarily blushed but once again recovered quickly to say, “I boom boom Phil because I know her long time and she give me money”. So there it was, the bottom fucking line as always, was money.

It took me at least half an hour of sitting there dabbing a small towel laden with ice against my cheek and as I reflected on what had happened I began to feel sorry for myself because I couldn’t shake that nagging doubt that I had done something wrong and come out second best out of the whole affair. I knew Phil had been fucking my girl and I knew I had got a good punch onto his jaw so why then was I feeling like I was the loser and I was in the wrong, and why was Rosie who should be feeling guilty getting all defensive and transferring the blame to me. Later on in the piece I was to question my reactions and ask myself what did getting jealous accomplish apart from a fleeting moment of satisfaction as I felt the punch land on big Phil. Apart from that everything else was all negative and to be honest I felt like a complete loser when looking back on my actions of that day. Yes I had justifiable anger but there would have been much better ways to channel that anger and use it to my advantage but like an immature prick I lashed out and then suffered the consequences.

I sat there for about 20 minutes and then suddenly realized Rosie had disappeared I looked around the club but Rosie was nowhere to be seen. I stood up walked around the disco but again no Rosie so I slowly walked outside looked around and still no sight of Rosie. Exasperated I was preparing myself to walk home when suddenly a vision of loveliness appeared before me holding out her hand and saying her name was Claire. I remember looking at her and thinking this is bizarre. Here I was having just been beaten up, lost my girlfriend all bruised and battered and here was this ravishing girl introducing herself to me with the obvious intent of a sexual encounter. I remember thinking this is something out of the Twilight Zone and I wondered if there was a candid camera somewhere.

I gave Claire a lopsided smile and said “hello sweetheart nice to meet you, would you like to come back to my place and have a drink”? Claire looked at me mischievously and replied ooh, ooh Claire like you Clair come you. Now this night was getting really weird. I had found out my girl was being fucked by new ex friend I had been involved in a fight and come out second best, I had lost my girlfriend to god knows where or whom and here was this hot little Filipina wanting to come home with me and fuck my brains out. Now I have never been one to be backwards in coming forwards and I have always believed every cloud has a silver lining so I just gave Claire my best attempt at a lopsided smile and said that would be great Claire nice to meet you by the way my name is Martin and I will show you where I live. As if having an inspiration Claire looked at me inquiringly and asked “you have girl” to which I replied “yes before I have girl but now we break up so I am free to go home with you”. Claire stood still digesting this info and then seemed to make up her mind it was ok to go with me and proudly announced “ok Claire come you but make sure no girl huh”.

With my aching face and sore ribs it seemed like a long walk back to my compound but with Claire acting as nurse we eventually made it back. When I got there I asked Claire to wait outside just in case Rosie had snuck in but when I opened the door there was no Rosie so I hurriedly ushered Claire inside and shut the door tight. Once the door was closed Claire who had seemed like a nice simple young lady suddenly turned into a little demon and straight away she was ripping at my shirt in a frenzied attempt at getting me undressed. I was still hurting so I told her slow down a bit girl we have plenty of time but she was having none of it and before I knew it I was lying on the bed with her supple lips wrapped around my male organ.

Claire wasn’t an expert at the Blow Job like Rosie but she did have admirable skills and I was in no condition to complain so I just sat back and enjoyed the sensation. It wasn’t long before my dick was rock hard and next thing I knew Claire had slipped off her panties and was riding me like a professional bronco rider. Claire rode me for what must have been about ten minutes when suddenly her first orgasm began to overtake her and all thoughts of Rosie and that nights events flew from my mind as I watched this luscious female gyrate and grind on my dick as the ecstatic orgasmic waves pulsed through her entire body.

When Claire had finished her climax and was spent I thought to myself I don’t care how crap I feel no woman is going to use me like that without me giving some back. Gently I lifted Claire off me all the time grimacing in pain and laid her down on the bed. I entered her slowly at first just gently easing myself in and out of her already wet pussy and like a velvet glove it gripped me not wanting to let go. I kept up this steady pace for about 5 minutes only speeding things up when Claire started to respond. After a while Claire was grabbing my ass and pushing me in deeper all the time crying “hard, hard do hard”. Having a natural inclination to energetic sex I began to pound Claire but rather than asking me to stop Claire responded by digging her nails into my behind and moaning loudly. I thought to myself I really hope Rosie can hear this and the more Claire responded the harder I gave it to her. This must have gone on for a good forty minutes until I felt my orgasm building up and then in one almighty explosion similar to a volcanic eruption I exploded and felt the waves of orgasm course through me.

After this energetic sexual encounter I was completely spent and the pain from my bodily injuries was beginning to kick in so I just lay on the bed thinking about that Bob Dylan song twist of fate and once again I was so thankful for being in this wonderful country. I thought about Australia and New Zealand. I thought how lucky I would be if I was to find a girl as good looking as Rosie or for that matter any Filipina and of course how devastated I would be if a girl like that went with another guy. Opposing this were big Phils words and I couldn’t seem to get the caring is sharing phrase out of my head. Even though this went totally against everything I had been bought up to believe it somehow in a distorted way made sense. Maybe it was because I was in the Philippines or maybe it was because the girls were so easy to get or maybe it was because I was already becoming like a Filipino and operating on a surface level living only for the moment and not giving any thought about the future.

Lying there feeling exhausted and with pain throbbing through my body I tumbled Phils words around in my head and the more I thought about it the more it seemed to make sense. From what I could see Rosie was a bar girl and she was offering herself to him and others for money. I asked myself if things had been reversed and it was me getting approached by Phils girlfriend what would I have done. I answered my question by saying to myself Martin you would have done the right thing and turned the girl down but no matter how much I tried to convince myself there was the nagging doubt. Then there was my hypocritical factor I mean who was I to lecture Rosie when I was fucking around on her as much if not more so than she was fucking around on me. Phils logic that if he didn’t do it somebody else would reminded me of the Dr John song “if I don’t do it somebody else will” and I realized this was not exactly an original line of thought. Yet despite it’s lack of creativity in a weird way it kind of made sense to me. I figured since I wasn’t giving her any money she was going to fuck around and if she was going to fuck around it may as well be with somebody I knew rather than just some complete stranger. Lastly I took a mental step back and analyzed my jealousy saying to myself Martin you are just jealous because you are being possessive and because you are translating Rosie and Phils actions as a slight against you. At the end of the day I still didn’t feel right about things but I was beginning to get a grip on the situation and felt that come tomorrow I may be able to face Phil and with a bit of luck even Rosie.

The thought of Rosie triggered an emotional response in me and I looked at the now sleeping Claire and I wondered just what my feelings for Rosie were. There was no denying the fact that I had some strong feelings for the girl but it wasn’t exactly what I would call love. If it was love her screwing around would have upset me a lot more than it did and I would have only been having sex with her as opposed to screwing any girl I could get my hands around. I realized that I had initially come to the Philippines to unashamedly indulge in hedonistic sexual promiscuity and yet here I was analyzing my depth of feeling for a young Filipina who was equally promiscuous as myself. The feelings of lost love and regret began to kick in and just as I gave Claire a gentle shake to wake her up I heard a loud banging on the door and Rosies angry voice shouting, “Puntang ina Martin open door I know you have girl”.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 36


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 36:

Sharing is caring but not quite yet

Sabang was a deceptive place because time seemed to move so slowly with each day seemingly melding into another then all of a sudden I would sit back and say to myself, wow it’s that date already where the hell did all that time go. I would then make up my mind that I was wasting my life away here with far to many idle hours being spent sitting around with my mates drinking cheap booze, fucking Rosie, eating, playing pool and then maybe for something special on the weekend visiting Sabang disco and trying to discreetly hit on some of the local talent.

Often I would find myself reflecting on this lifestyle and saying to myself come on martin shake yourself out of this, you are going nowhere it’s like you are a beach bum and there isn’t even a decent beach. I would often get to the stage where I would start to pack my bags saying to Rosie “hey girl you ready to go back to Manila I am come on let’s get out of here tomorrow”. Rosie would always smile roll her eyes up and reply “ok hon we go bukas” knowing full well that something would distract me and somehow we would end up staying in Sabang for yet another week.

And the problem was, she was right. No matter how many times I vowed to get out of there something would always come up and I would find myself staying yet another week doing exactly the same things as I had the week before. In fact now I look back on it life in Sabang was just like a continual groundhog day, only being in the Philippines it included getting laid on a regular basis.

Along with the alcohol there was plenty of weed around in those days and just about every second night the boys and I would simply sit by the barbeque drinking local rum or gin and getting stoned off our tits on the local puff. Having grown up in Sydney and attending university in the late seventies early eighties I had indulged in my fair share of pot but there was something special about smoking this shit in Sabang. Not that it was strong or of particularly impressive quality but the environment seemed to lend itself to the experience and I can remember watching many a sunset sitting on my little porch, Tanduay Rum in one hand and a good smoke in the other.

On the weekends we would often head to Sabang Disco which was a chance for me and the boys to check out the local talent and any new talent that might have found her way to Sabang from Manila. Surprisingly enough Rosie who knew exactly why we went to Sabang Disco never seemed to mind and in fact I got the impression she quite enjoyed visiting there with what she considered her group of guys. This particular occasion it was Friday night and about 11PM, all of us had been drinking and smoking fairly heavily before coming to Sabang Disco and then as we mingled just chatting with some locals while scoping out the females big Phil came up to me and said “mate I need to talk with you can you come outside”? By this time I considered Phil more than a casual acquaintance but I could see by the look on his face that whatever it was he had on his mind was fairly serious and he obviously felt the need to tell me right now so I just skulled my rum and coke and replied “sure mate lets go now”.

When we got outside big Phil lead the way to a small sari-sari store where he invited me to sit and ordered 4 rum and cokes. By this stage I was getting a little bit guarded wondering what the heck was so important that Phil had to talk with me about and my feeling of foreboding only got worse when the first words out of his mouth were, “mate I have to tell you a few things about your bird Rosie”. Big Phil was never one for prolonged soliloquies and as such he basically came right out with it. “Mate to be honest me and some of the other blokes have been rooting Rosie’ After hearing this I was suddenly totally straight and as I looked him straight in the eyes I asked mate is this when you knew her before or while she has been with me here in Sabang? Phil gave me an apologetic grimace and replied, “both mate” .

At this stage in my relationship with Rosie I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about her, for me there was a torrent of feelings and most of them were contradictory. On the one hand I realized she was a hardened bar girl and very much a product of her environment but on the other hand I had taken her out of the bar and she was my lover as well as my friend. Or so I thought. I felt pangs of jealousy juxtaposed by my worldly logic that said what do you expect she is a bar girl, this is the only way she knows how to survive. I felt a sense of betrayal by both Rosie and Phil but then again they had known each other long before I had known either one of them and besides who was I to tell Rosie she could not fuck around when here I was banging the land lady’s daughter. Should I be upset or should I be relieved, should I feel betrayed or should I just put it down to life’s experiences, should I be proprietary and impress upon this big bloke whose woman she was or should I just not take it personally and let it slide.
As I sat there speechless for what seemed like an eternity but was probably only a couple of minutes the gamut of emotions bombarded my mind like items of clothing in a tumble dryer and this must have been obvious by my facial expressions because Phil actually reached over placed his big hand on my arm and said “you ok there mate”? When I felt his hand on my arm I was jolted out of my self indulgent musings and said, “get your fucking hand off me cunt” and straight away he pulled back like he was withdrawing his hand from the snapping jaws of a crocodile. Listen mate there’s no need to get all agro mate I’m just telling ya for your own good because I’m a mate and I thought you should know“. “Well if your such a mate why are you fucking my girlfriend” I replied and straight away he said well mate I don’t see her as your girlfriend and she don’t see you as her boyfriend”.

Those last words hit me like a sledge hammer completely taking the winds out of my sails and once he saw this Phil stood up and using the extra 3 inches he had over me told me “sit down mate and lets have a fucking drink. I reckon you could do with one right now”. With this said he proffered me two rum and cokes and then it suddenly dawned on me why he had ordered four in the first place. I took one look at the big guy towering over me and thought to myself maybe discretion is the better part of valor besides the semblance of rationality I had left was dictating that I should stay and talk with Phil in an effort to find out more details before I decided on the best course of action.

So mate I asked in a calmer voice how long has this been going on and he replied by saying mate ever since the first night you came to the compound. When he said this he could see my temper beginning to boil again so he said no mate it’s not like that remember where you are, this is the Philippines and everything’s all fucked up over here”. I replied mate just because it’s the Philippines that doesn’t mean you should change your values and start doing things like fucking your mates girl friend”. When he heard this Phil just smiled and said “I would like to agree with ya but the fact is you’re wrong Marty. Over here in the PI you gotta change and go with the flow mate coz if you don’t you will go fucking bonkers”. In the years to come I was to face this dilemma many times and I think the answer is to adapt a little bit but at the same time maintain the nucleus of what makes you, you. Phil was right, to survive in the Philippines for any length of time you have to adapt and often that means throwing your beliefs and to some extent your morals out the window but at the same time always keep a part of what you used to be inside, otherwise there will be nothing which separates you from the Filipinos.

Even though his words were not exactly calming me down I let my cool head prevail thinking I need to find out more info before I do anything and besides if I am going to get this big bastard I better make it a surprise attack or else there was no way I was going to win. So mate what do suggest I do about this I said which caused Phil to look at me and say well mate there’s not much you can do mate the damage has been done. But Marty it wasn’t personal mate Rosie is just a bar whore mate and it’s probably better your mates do her than some bloke you don’t know”. When I heard this I actually spat my drink out onto the sand and asked what did you just say and big Phil just smiled and said yeah I know mate my reaction was the same when some cunt first told me that but it’s fair dinkum mate. You are better off having your girl rooting your mates than some bloke you don’t even know”.

At first I couldn’t believe what I had just heard and I wondered if Phil was serious but when I looked across the table at him I saw no trace of mirth in the mans eyes and I realized he was deadly serious. I looked at him and said mate you are just trying to justify doing the dirty on me and this is when he shook his head and said, “well you may see it as doing the dirty on ya but I see it as doing you a favor because I have taught you how it is around here and I have shown you what sort of girl Rosie is. Now don’t get me wrong mate I like a girl who bangs like a dunny door in the wind as much as the next man but mate now I have shown you how she truly is ask yourself is that the sort of girl you really want to get involved with?”.

Well I thought to myself if that doesn’t just top off everything here is this guy who has been fucking my girl and now he wants to tell me he was doing me a favor. Of course at this stage of my Philippine development this logic made absolutely no sense at all but many years later I was to find myself using exactly the same logic when answering a friends question about his girlfriends activities. Now, now I know what your thinking, Martin has been fucking one of his mates girlfriends but if this is what you are thinking then you are wrong. Remember how I stated earlier if you live here you have to adapt but at the same time keep some of what makes you, you. Well part of what I have kept is the belief that there is right and wrong and fucking your friends girl friend just doesn’t seem right to me no matter what angle I look at it from or what justifications I may employ. As a result I have never fucked a mates girlfriend well not while she was his girlfriend anyway and I probably never will.

With these words of wisdom spoken Phil made to get up and go but I grabbed his arm and said “wait a minute mate you said that you weren’t the only one fucking Rosie so could you tell me who the other dickheads are” to which he replied “well Marty let’s just put it this way it’s two other blokes who live in the compound mate” . Now I was pissed and it must have shown because Phil moved his chair a few inches away from me and said “calm down a bit mate I keep telling you this is not personal. Tell me mate how much money are you giving Rosie?” When he asked this I realized that I had been giving Rosie next to nothing and here was reality lesson number 2 these girls all need money. They may appear to have their own money or they may be independently wealthy or just to shy to come right out and ask you for it but the bottom line is they always need money.

When Phil asked this it had the calming down effect he was aiming for and I somewhat sheepishly replied “to be honest mate I give her fuck all” and then Phil smiled and said mate always give your girl some money. I’m not saying this will stop her from fucking around but it will decrease the chances and it will solve you many problems if you adopt this policy here in the Philippines. It’s all about the pera mate.” So there it was an economic reality slap in the face and yet somehow this didn’t make me feel bad at all. In fact I think this was a handy excuse that I could cling to and use to massage my bruised ego. Now I could say to myself these other guys are cunts but they didn’t mean it personally and as for Rosie well she was only doing it for the money.

Phil saw me calming down a bit and said ok mate time to finish our piss and lets get back to the disco I got a sheila I was eyeing off tonight and I reckon I can pull her no problem. With this said he stood up and slowly ambled off in the direction of Sabang Disco leaving me to order five more rum and cokes while I pondered my situation. I have no idea how long I sat there just pondering what Phil had told me but next thing I knew the lady who owned the sari-sari store was making noises for me to pay up because it was late and she wanted to close. I rummaged through my pockets found a couple of hundred and laid them on the table which seemed to please her no end as she grabbed the money and surprisingly quickly for someone her age disappeared behind the sari-sari store. Now left on my own and with a head full of Tanduay Rum I stumbled towards the Sabang Disco showed the door man my entrance stamp from earlier that night and stepped inside only to see Rosie dancing with big Phil. When I saw this I knew exactly what the saying seeing red like a bull meant and as all rationale thoughts flew out of my head I crossed the dance floor shoved Rosie aside and took a massive swing at big Phils jaw.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 35


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 35:

The ultimate hangover cure

When it comes to hangovers I am now somewhat of an expert so much so that sometimes I feel like I was born with one. However, back in 1991 a hangover was a relatively new experience and to this day 19 years later I can still remember the hangover I woke up with in Peurto Galera. On a scale of one to ten this was a nine, my whole body ached and my head felt like someone was playing with jack hammers inside my brain. This was a mammoth hangover and as I stumbled out of bed looking in vain for a bottle of water, I remembered my fathers tales detailing the evils of rum and I thought to myself, hey dad now I know where you’re coming from. Over the years I have heard many people say Tanduay rum is actually quite a decent rum but ever since that morning I have been put off for life and in my drinking sessions I make dam sure to avoid Tanduay.

Even though my eyes could barely focus I somehow managed to find a bottle of mineral water and now all I had to do was rummage through my bag and find some Panadol which would hopefully stop my splitting headache. For many years my mother suffered from migranes and sometimes they were so bad the doctor would come along and just knock her out with a jab of morphine. Luckily myself and my brother never inherited the migranes but watching my mothers agony had made me acutely aware just how unpleasant headaches could be and this morning I found myself yearning for the family doctor and the loving embrace of his morphine needle.

Not having my family doctor in Peurto Galera and certainly not having access to Morphine I decided I would have to swallow a couple of Panadols and just hope they would do the trick. After what seemed like forever I finally managed to find the Panadols so I popped two straight down my throat washed them down with a gulp of water and then lay down waiting for them to take effect. Within twenty minutes I felt the gentle relief of the paracetamol based Panadol begin to kick in and as the waves of splitting headache began to recede and as the need to sleep overtook me I suddenly realized Rosie was nowhere to be seen. I couldn’t for the life of me remember if I had slept with Rosie the night before but there was a nagging doubt that she had been missing and as the sweet clouds of sleep embraced my aching head I made a mental note to check up on Rosie’s whereabouts when I woke up.

I have no idea how long I slept for but when I woke up my head was still throbbing so I just lay still and let the fact that I was awake and had to face the world slowly dawn on me. As I lay there I heard the sound of female laughter gently drift inside the hut so nursing my throbbing head I slowly made it to a vertical position and walked outside to see where this sound was coming from. As soon as I made it through the door blinding daylight hit me so I promptly turned round and went through my bag to find my sunglasses. Daylight is certainly not the hung over mans best friend and even though I now had dark sunglasses on it still took my eyes about 20 seconds to adjust. Once I had my bearings and I could see without squinting I gazed out into what I now considered as my front yard and there was Rosie and Juvie laughing and chatting away as they prepared some sort of food on the barbeque. Rather than interrupt them I decided to just sit back and observe this special moment that was just so typical of life in the Philippines.

I went back inside got my bottle of water and two more Panadols and then just sat down by the little table on my veranda and watched the two girls interact. They were jabbering away in Tagalog and of course I couldn’t understand a word but I did hear my name mentioned a couple of times and that of Phil as well. I was just sitting there minding my own business hoping that Juvie hadn’t told Rosie about our little encounter when all of a sudden it occurred to me that Rosie definitely hadn’t slept with me last night so where the hell had she been. I was pondering the best approach to ask her when as if she had read my thoughts she looked up spotted me and smiled. During my years here I have often encountered the Filipinas unerring ability to tap into their sixth sense almost as if they can read my mind. For example I have often talked about a girl with a customer without either one of us even looking at the girl. There is no way the girl could have heard our conversation as the music is far to loud and yet somehow she will pick up on our thoughts like she has some kind of mental telepathy. On many occasions I have noticed this and we have now coined the term bar girl radar to describe just this.

When Rosie saw me she gave me a beaming smile and blew me a kiss whilst Juvie just gave me a friendly little wave. When I saw this all thoughts of wrong doing on Rosie’s behalf disappeared and I felt myself melting as I became a slave yet again to her feminine charms. As I sat there wondering if those jack hammers would ever stop reverberating in my brain Rosie approached me and asked would you like lunch to which I replied I will try to eat something but I am not sure if I can hold anything down. The look on her face told me she was not familiar with the expression hold anything down but still she got the general gist of my conversation because she looked at me and said “that what happen when you to much drunk”.

When Rosie put her mind to it she was actually a passable cook but most of the time she either just couldn’t be bothered or she was so used to the spoilt bar life that she deemed it beneath her to cook for her man. On the other hand there were times when she would surprise me and for seemingly no reason at all would cook a delicious meal and make sure I eat every last morsel. Rosie was in some ways a contradictory and complicated package which was all to be revealed to me during the time we were in Peurto Galera. Rosies attitude was not exactly what I would call friendly let alone submissive or overtly feminine. She was a professional bar girl with a heart of stone when needed and certainly a little slutty around the edges. Having said this she did have several assets not the least of which was the fact that she had great boobs and when she put her mind to it could suck a bowling ball through a garden hose.

I was certainly fond of Rosie but I would never say I was in love with her. Yes she became a friend and yes she was always a good lover but no matter how much time I spent with her I couldn’t quite make that final leap and say what I was feeling was love. I think in my heart of hearts I wanted the ‘girl friend experience’ and I even wanted the ‘in love’ experience yet something always held me back. Maybe it was David’s words of wisdom, maybe it was a emotional safety reaction on my behalf after Hilda’s death, maybe it was because of fear of commitment or maybe it was just plain old common sense which dictated that Rosie and girls of her ilk were at the end of the day bar girls who were in many ways incapable of abiding by the rules that govern a normal relationship. As for Rosie even though I spent near on nine months with her I could never really say what she felt. Unlike most Filipinas she was not demonstrative or overt with her feelings and there were many times during our relationship where I would catch myself just gazing at her wondering what was going on behind those pretty Chinese eyes.

After lunch had been consumed by myself and the girls Juvie asked if Rosie and I would like a little sight seeing tour of Sabang to which Rosie eagerly agreed to and as such I had to as well even though it was the last thing I felt like doing. We started off walking back to the pool hall where once again Rosie dragged us in and the young Filipino guy whom I had met before approached us, said hello to me and the girls both of whom he knew and then asked if I would like another game of pool. By this stage I had heard about the local pool hustlers but I didn’t have much else to do and rather than offend him I agreed to a few games while the girls sat and watched.

For the first two games we were evenly tied at one game each and then sure enough for the third game the Filipino guy wanted to play for money. He started off at 500 piso per game but I pled lack of money and said much better we play for 100. He didn’t seem to impressed with this but faced with the choice of playing for 100 or letting the foreigner mark escape he agreed. Strangely enough that game I seemed to play like a freaking expert and his game just went to shit and I ended up winning convincingly. After I had won the guy then said to me “see you should have play for five hundred you win to easy. Maybe you hustler”. When I heard this I automatically knew this was the beginning of the hustle and he would be insisting the next game we played should be for 500. With this in mind I decided to circumvent matters by saying, “well thanks for the game dude but I have to go. Tell you what you keep the hundred piso you owe me and we can play double or nothing next time I come back”. I am not sure if he understood what I was saying but while he was trying to figure it out I motioned to the girls that it was time to leave and walked out the door.

That day we must have trapped all over Sabang stopping at various food houses and sari sari stores for a rest or just a cool drink. Juvie was one of these rare Filipinas who seemed to enjoy walking and was not afraid of physical exercise whereas Rosie on the other hand was very obviously not enjoying herself and was probably asking herself what the heck have I gotten myself in for. Looking back on this little excursion I can only remember scanty details but some things that stick out in my mind are Sabang Disco which I was to later on become very familiar with, Luckys Austrian food house which was nearing completion and the walk up the hill where Alan Nash has now built the Point Bar.

Half way up the hill Rosie decided to give it in and with an exasperated tone of voice told me “I go back Lucky no like walk to much tired”. This was followed by a rapid Tagalog conversation with Juvie and then Rosie turned round and started heading back down the hill. I looked at Juvie for some sort of guidance but all she could do was smile at me and say “no problema for Rosie, we go top hill then go back for Rosie”. I wasn’t exactly feeling 100 percent but I figured a little exercise would probably do me a world of good when it came to fighting the persistent hang over. With the ever energetic Juvie leading the way and me huffing and puffing behind her with my eyes firmly fixed on her jiggling buttocks we slowly made it to the top of the hill and when we got there a truly splendid view of the Sabang, La Lalaguna and the ocean greeted us.

Juvie stopped sat on a rock and beckoned for me to sit with her. Feeling like a little rest I gladly did so and next thing I knew she was kissing me passionately. At first I was a bit taken aback but not being one to miss out on an opportunity I found myself responding eagerly and next thing I knew Juvie had her hands down my pants and was pulling my cock out. I looked around to make sure nobody was watching and then having confirmed we were all on our own sat back and just enjoyed the sensation as Juvie wrapped her lips around me and proceeded to give me a toe curling blow job.

Sitting there on a rock in the bush looking out over a aqua marine ocean with a beautiful young Filipina lasciviously sucking on my male member was as close to paradise as I had ever been and I thought to myself life doesn’t get much better than this and best of all my nagging hangover induced headache had literally been blown away.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 34


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 34:

Our little hut by the sea was in fact part of a compound which was occupied by a couple of Australians, Germans and some Americans all of whom seemed like a great bunch of guys. I was certainly the newbie amongst this lot as most of them had been coming to the Philippines for at least five years and all of them were more than familiar with the ins and outs of Peurto Galera.

Before I knew it the days events had caught up with me and after eating it was time for a little nap. I lay down with Rosie beside me on our little bed reveling in the breeze gently blowing trough the window and slowly drifted off to sleep listening to the sounds of small waves gently lap against the shore.

I slept for about three hours and when I woke up I reached for Rosie only to find she wasn’t there. Groggily I stumbled outside where I saw Rosie sitting by the barbeque tending to a grilled fish whilst chatting with this big white guy. I approached hesitantly put my arm around Rosie and said “there you are I missed you babe”. When he saw me the big guy was momentarily taken aback but quickly overcame his surprise to introduce himself as Phil from Australia. “Gooday mate” he said, “nice to meet ya. Me names Phil. I was just chatting to me old mate Rosie here known her for yonks mate. Great Sheila mate, reckon you done well”. With this he gave Rosie a beaming smile then held out a huge hand for me to shake.

Phil must have stood about 6 foot 3 with dark hair drunken brown eyes and a barrel chest. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on the big guy and I estimated him at being about 27 years old. As I stood there with my arm around Rosie trying to bravely mark my territory I couldn’t help but think, I hope this guy doesn’t go off it would be a real problem trying to handle this big bastard. As it turned out Phil was basically a gentle soul with a cigarette permanently hanging out of one side of his mouth and a bottle of Tanduay Rum out of the other. Later on in the piece I was to find out just how well he knew Rosie and how recently he had renewed that friendship but for now he seemed like a genuinely friendly sort of guy so I shook his hand with vigor and offered to have a drink with him.

With the offer of a drink Phil’s face lit up and he said “sure thing mate give us a couple of hundred and I’ll go buy what we need”. I forked out 200 piso and Phil with a smile took the money and said “I’ll be back in half an hour mate”. Sure enough he was good to his word, 30 minutes later he returned with two packets of cigarettes two bottles of Tanduay 3 bottles of coke and a plastic container full of ice. Phil plonked himself down on the wooden chair on my huts veranda placing the booze and plastic container on a little wooden table then called me to come join him. “I reckon Rosie will take care of the fish mate, how’s about you and me having a little drink”.

Phil and I sat there for about forty minutes smoking cigarettes drinking Tanduay and coke, watching the sun set and just generally getting to know each other when from out of nowhere three other guys appeared and asked if they could join us. Phil seemed to know them and before I knew it we had five of us all sitting around the barbeque area quaffing down Tanduay and coke like there was no tomorrow.

When the other guys joined us it was obvious that Rosie and mines solitary fish wasn’t going to suffice so I asked Phil, “where can I get some more fish or something to put on the barbeque to feed the guys”? He smiled and said “no worries there mate just give Rosie five hundred and send her up to see nanay or her daughter. They know the lay of the land mate and will see ya right”. I could feel the effects of Tanduay Rum beginning to kick in now and I knew I had better get something to eat before my head was spinning so I called Rosie over gave her 500 piso and asked her to go see nanay and buy some food for me and the boys. Rosie looked at me with a look that said, what did your last slave die of, grabbed the money and headed off towards nanays house.

While Rosie was gone the boys and I started on a fairly heavy drinking session. These guys were all Australian and were not exactly new to the drinking scene in Peurto Galera or any place else for that matter. There names were Jimmy Buckets, John Cockran and Koripot Bob. All of them lived in the same little compound as myself and Rosie and all of them seemed like hard core Philippine veterans. At this stage I realized I was still a comparative newbie and I was all ears as these boys enlightened me on survival techniques in the Philippines all over copious amounts of rum of course.

It wasn’t long before Rosie was back carrying what looked like a couple of fish, some boiled rice, some squid and some vegetables. Now as most people know I am no slouch when it comes to drinking but these boys were making me look like a rank amateur. It seemed to me that this was their nightly event and this impression was further confirmed when Jimmy Buckets suddenly said, “welcome to our little group Marty I reckon you’ll fit right in mate”. When Buckets said this I felt kind of honored like I had been accepted into the inner circle of friends or something. Of course this meant nothing to Rosie who when I asked for the change gave me a look of seething contempt and replied “wala”.

By now the second bottle of rum was getting empty so Phil asked me for another hundred which I drunkenly handed over and he then took it to Rosie and said, “can you fetch us some more Rum Rosie me love” and gave her a little pat on her behind. I was expecting Rosie to say something along the lines of get your own bloody drink but all she did was smile and reply ooh ooh then off she trotted. I remember thinking through the alcohol sodden haze how the heck did Phil do that but then at that stage thinking anything more complicated than whats my name was beyond my capacity, so I just let my mind slide into drunken numbness that is typical of life in the Philippines.

Rosie was back seemingly in a jiffy and following close behind was Jovie carrying plates and cutlery. When I saw Jovie I immediately turned a bright red and I was sure Rosie would notice it but instead she seemed to have eyes only for Phil and as it turned out all the boys new Jovie anyway and were quite effusive in their greetings to her. Rosie and Jovie started to prepare the food whilst Phil poured another round of rum and cokes and it was once more into the breach for poor Martin. By the time we had finished the next round the food was ready and we all stumbled towards the barbeque to fill our rumbling stomachs. Due to the lack of chairs we all sat on the sand by the barbeque and continued talking and drinking as we consumed the fish, rice and some sort of undefined vegetable with great gusto . I am sure under normal circumstances I would not have even looked twice at this meal but sitting on the beach in an alcohol induced stupor with my new found friends and a gentle breeze blowing off the sea, this meal seemed somehow perfect.

While we were eating Rosie and Jovie were making acquaintance with each other and I couldn’t help but wonder what they were talking about. Admittedly I was worried that Jovie would let slip about the afternoons activities between us but if she did Rosie never showed any sign of it and the evening progressed along with everybody being happy and friendly. At the time I did not realize it but the company of good friends, tall tales and copious amounts of booze was soon to be the story of my life in Peurto Galera and I would literally have to drag myself away and force myself into another lifestyle but that was in the future and for now I just felt pleasantly intoxicated and at peace with myself.

The evening progressed along and even though I was getting totally fucked up I could see the signs of wear and tear on the others and it became a point of pride that I wasn’t going to let these boys drink me under the table. I had enjoyed numerous drinking sessions in Australia and had always managed to hold my own so I wasn’t about to let these guys whom I had only just met, get the better of me. As the night wore on the supply of Tandauy rum seemed never ending until at last Jimmy Buckets drunkenly proclaimed “I’ve done me fucking bolt lads and I’ll see youze all tomorrow”. With that grand announcement made, Jimmy managed to slowly struggle to his feet where he wobbled precariously unti Koripot Bob managed to stand up beside him and together the two of them stumbled of towards their respective huts. This left myself John and big Phil and even though my head was reeling I wasn’t about to give in and let these two get the better of me. I decided the best form of defense was offense and I sluringly asked one more round boys at which John looked at me with disgust and said “no thanks mate but I got to piss off bloody worlds spinning and I gotta visit Manila tomorrow “. This left me and big Phil who simply smiled at me and said, “yeah sure thing Marty I could go another”.

I think myself and Phil stayed there for another hour or so until we finished off the fourth bottle and then thankfully Phil slowly stood up and said “well I gotta go mate, sleep well and give my love to Rosie”. With that said he slowly stumbled off into the distance and as I watched him depart I thought to myself well done Martin you showed those guys. With my self congratulatory praise still ringing in my head I tried to gain my feet only to find myself lying down on the sand. At first I thought somebody had tripped me so I looked around, only to find fresh air. Right, I thought to myself, slow it down a bit you are pissed Martin, just concentrate and take it easy. Using my last dregs of common sense I manged to gain my feet and stumble the fifteen yards to my hut where I ascended the steps gently opened the door and gratefully collapsed onto my empty bed.

C How They Made Me! Chapter 33


Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

C How they made me chapter 33:

Of course I like my women wearing sexy provocative clothing which titillates the imagination like a tight clinging dress that accentuates the Coca-Cola bottle like curves or a sexy negligee that reveals just enough to excite whilst keeping just enough hidden to maintain that element of mystery. But at the same time for me there is just something about an earthy type woman who revels in her femininity and exudes sexuality. These women have no need of sexy clothing or expensive jewelry, theirs is a natural sexuality that comes from within and needs no accentuating by artificial means. I have always found myself attracted to the natural look no makeup to highlight certain features and hide others, no padding, no nips and tucks, just plain what you see is what you get. This is what the Filipinos refer to as a “natural beauty” and this earthy appeal was personified by the landlady’s daughter.

Her name was Jovielyn and as soon as we were out of sight of the compound she looked around as if to make sure nobody was watching then grabbed my hair pulling me down to her level and proceeded to kiss me like there was no tomorrow. At first I was a little shocked by this sweet young girl behaving in such a manner but hey I wasn’t about to stop her or put up any fight. This was a display of wanton, aggressive sexual passion, yes I felt a little bit like a toy boy or just an object that was a means to a young woman’s ends but I also realized it’s pretty obvious this girl knows what she’s doing and if she wanted to use me to satiate her sexual desires then she could go right ahead and do it.

The kiss lasted for about 1 minute then just before parting she shoved her tongue down my throat and said “Jovie like you, ikaw masarap”. At this stage I had no idea what this meant but then again it didn’t really matter she had made her intentions perfectly clear as had I by the obscene bulge in my pants. After the cinemascope type kiss Jovie proceeded to lead the way to Captain Greg’s and as she walked in front of me I was literally transfixed by the saucy swaying of her hips and her tight firm buttocks jiggling up and down with each step she took. After a while we reached Sabang pool hall where I saw the same young Filipino guy who had been chatting to Rosie and as Jovie and I approached. Obviously he knew Jovie because as we approached he gave her a beaming smile said something in Tagalog which caused both he and Jovie to look at me then grin mischievously and then he turned to me and said in perfect English “hi sir how are you”. At first I was a little bit taken aback by the fluent English but recovered quick enough to think come on Martin you know better than to judge a book by its cover so I simply replied “I am doing fine, thanks for asking”. After hearing this the young man smiled at me again said something in Tagalog to Jovie and then he asked me “sir you leave Rosie in house”? I replied “yeah I left her with Jovies mum but hey mate this isn’t how it looks Jovie and I are just on our way back to Captain Gregs to pick up the gear then I am moving into one of the bungalows”. At the time I wondered why I was busy explaining myself to a young Filipino man who I hardly knew so then deciding offence is the best form of defense I asked him straight out “why are you asking”? Automatically he picked up on the slight aggressive intonation in my voice so he smiled again said no sir you don’t understand, Rosie good friend to my girlfriend, Rosie friend to me only”. This assurance was delivered very smoothly especially for a Filipino beach bum and next thing I knew I found myself shaking his hand and promising to come play some pool after I had settled in.

Jovie led the way back through the twisting turning alley ways with the Filipino’s going about their daily business and everywhere she went women and men alike would stop what they were doing and greet her. It was very obvious Jovie was well known in Sabang and I made a mental note to myself if I ever needed anything in a hurry I would ask Jovie. This girl had the island wired and would probably be able to help me find something better than anybody else. As a secondary mental note I also promised myself that I would never piss her off as it wouldn’t be a particularly pleasant experience having an angry Jovie and ten young Filipino guys bashing down my door all looking to teach the arrogant foreigner a lesson.

Eventually we made it back to Captain Greg’s where I informed them I would be checking out and Jovie surprise-surprise knew the receptionist who looked at me as if to say and where do you think you are going with this girl but then burst out in a sweet smile as Jovie said something in Tagalog and we proceeded to my room to pack my bags and move to my new abode. Jovie seemed to know her way around Captain Greg’s and as soon as she had opened my door she shut it behind us locked it and proceeded to literally tear my clothes of in her urgent need to engage in what was obviously going to be a first class torrid sexual encounter. Now I look back on this encounter several strange occurences stick in my mind. Firstly Jovie never insisted herself or I take a shower before having sex. This is unusual for a Filipina as normally they are very fastidious about their cleanliness surpassed only by the Thais but I got the feeling Jovie didn’t have time for pleasantries, she wanted some dick and nothing or nobody was going to stand in her way.

Juvie was really a whirlwind after kissing me passionately whilst standing she then pushed me down onto the bed pulled down my shorts and was wrapped her soft lips around the head of my cock gently licking and sucking whilst at the same time stroking it with her petite little hands. Somehow I just got the feeling this wasn’t the first time she had given a blowjob and this was combined with the feeling that I was somewhat irrelevant in this process Jovie was a woman who when it came to sex had strong urges and she let those urges rule her no matter what. She was like a sexual hedonist when she wanted it, she wanted it , she gave into her sexual needs with wild abandon living purely for the moment regardless of the consequences. To say that Jovie was a wild ride would be an understatement, this girl was more like a hurricane ripping through a nippa hut village.

As soon as Jovies lips were wrapped around my cock I had a hard on that I could have knocked someone out with and Jovie being the good girl wasn’t about to waste it . Straight away she ripped of her top and her little wrap around dress which was more like a sarong, pulled down her underpants and before I knew she was riding my pole like a professional rodeo rider. What surprised me about Jovie was even though it was all about her personal satisfaction and she was a wild vocal young lady she was also one of these women who liked to take her time and was amazingly sensual. At first she rode me like a woman gone wild letting out little moans that were gradually getting louder and louder then suddenly she would slow down and just rub her clitoris against me all the time getting louder and louder. I think Jovie was having a series of mini orgasms whilst ridding me because she kept on shuddering and moaning then when she actually turned round so I could see that cute little ass sliding up and down on my pole and I noticed my cock was very wet .

Jovie must of helped herself for half an hour and in a myriad of positions until she turned to me and said “honey you be the one to drive”. Not being backwards in coming forwards I grabbed the opportunity bent her over and entered her from behind in the classic doggy style position. Doggy style has always been my favorite as it allows the man to regulate the rhythm and there is just something about pile driving a nice petite Filipina. Most Filipinas have nice tight little brown bums and there is just something to be said for placing ones thumbs in the little dimple marks just above their ass and using these as leverage thrusting in and out like there is no tomorrow. As for the Filipinas I find their frame subtly deceiving for such small framed girls it’s quite amazing how much pounding they can take and give out as well. Most importantly the majority of the ones I have encountered seem to actually enjoy vigorous sex which of course is right up my alley.

Jovie was certainly one of the girls who enjoyed an extended rigorous encounter and as I hit my stride pounding in and out like a piston Jovie was getting louder and louder. I pushed her head into the pillow thinking the occupants of the room next door would think I was a mass murderer or something but Jovie was in full voice and nothing I did seem to make any difference. As I hit full stride the bed was banging against the wall Jovie was virtually screaming in paroxysms of delight and then just as I was about to cum I pulled out and hosed her back with my cum when suddenly I felt a gush of warm liquid splashing my balls so I looked down and there was Jovie squirting.

I had often heard of girls who squirt when they cum but prior to this had always believed it to be some sort of urban myth. Now here it was right in front of me and my bed sheets were soaked. Just as well I was moving out since I was having visions of trying to explain the wet bed sheets to Rosie and I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say should I ever run into the people from the room next door. Feeling a little foolish sitting there in the biggest post coital wet spot I had ever seen made me feel a little foolish and awkward until Jovie looked round and with a rather sheepish look said sorry po I do like that. When I saw the look on her face the humor of the situation suddenly overtook me so sitting there holding my dick whilst floundering in a pool of female love juice I could do nothing but laugh despite Jovies obvious embarrassment.

This had been a tremendously enjoyable sexual encounter and even though I was completely shagged out and could have done with a good 2 hour rest I realized time was of the essence if we were to get away with this without anyone knowing then it was time to bungle Jovie into the shower along with myself then pack up the bags and head back to Jovies mothers place. I wasn’t sure how I would handle facing Jovies mother knowing how I had just drilled her daughter but with a tight little body like Jovies and such an enthusiastic performance I thought explaining to her mother was the least of my worries. Little Jovie had certainly been a real find and as I showered with her lathering soap on her back some of David’s advice came back to me “Marty my mate always fuck as much as you can mate because you never know when it’s your last”.

As we checked out of Captain Greg’s the waitress gave myself and Jovie knowing looks and even a furtive little smile in my direction and I remember thinking where else in the world could you get away with this shit what a great country. To this day I still don’t know what happened to the sheets and 19 years later I am still a little hesitant to return to Captain Greg’s in case the alarms go off and the staff say oh look here comes the bed wetter we remember him.

After checking out Jovie and I once again navigated the streets of Sabang and made our way back to her mothers place. Jovie of course now being sexually satiated didn’t want to know about carrying any luggage so while I was the pack horse lugging Rosie’s and my bags Jovie just sauntered freely waving and laughing with her friends as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Even though I was bogged down with luggage I could have sworn some of the people were looking at me and saying stuff like there goes Jovies latest victim. Maybe this was all in my imagination or maybe reality but one thing was for sure this little nymph had been one hell of a ride and to this day I get a hard-on just thinking about her.

After 20 minutes of walking we were back at Jovies mothers compound where I thanked Jovie for her help even though I was the one to carry the bags and then I made my way to our cottage. Our cottage was the one furthest away from the main office area so it was a short stroll and then when I turned the corner there sitting on my new porch was the Filipino guy from the pool hall. When he saw me coming he at first looked a little strange almost like he was guilty of something but recovered quickly and was soon offering to carry the bags and help me into my new house. I entered the little shack and there was Rosie brushing her wet hair. When she saw me she broke out in a big smile and proudly announced hon I like Peurto Galera but gutom na ako (I’m hungry now).