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Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

Well wild is what I wanted and wild is what I got, this Carol was a not so little firecracker in the bed. When we got back to the hotel she immediately pushed me down onto the bed and said, “I dance you look”. With that she turned off the lights to the bedroom but left the bathroom light on, with the bathroom door slightly ajar. With the light gently framing her silhouette she started to sing to herself and sway in an amazingly provocative way whilst clicking her fingers. As she started to get into the swing of things, Carol slowly removed her top, so her pert breasts were swinging with every gyration of her hips. Still clad in skin tight jeans Carol then assumed the splits position and promptly sat on top of my now throbbing member. Slowly but surely she rubbed her denim clad crotch over my dick then delicately placed her lavishly painted fingernails on my zip and proceeded to undo my pants. Within seconds she was stroking my male member, encouraging him to rise to the occasion. My erection was of course instantaneous but this didn’t impress Carol who just smiled at me when she saw it and said, “don’t be too much hurry honey I make you happy for long time”. With that said she gave me a mischievous smile, slowly wrapped her luscious pink lips around me and proceeded to give me the best blow job I had ever had the pleasure of receiving.

Carol was one of those rare girls who was not only very good at her job but actually enjoyed it. Carol had the blow job down to a fine art, just as I was about to blow my load she seemed to sense it and withdrew her lips. She kept me teetering on the edge without ever going over the precipice and was always in total control.

After about ten minutes of this Carol said “come on honey we go shower”. At this stage a shower was the last thing I wanted but I was putty in her hands and submissively followed her into the bathroom. Carol smiled at me as she pulled off her skin tight jeans and adeptly slipped out of her slinky panties. Next it was my turn and before I knew it we were both naked standing under an invigorating cold shower. Carol got hold of the solitary piece of soap and proceeded to rub my back with it then turned me around and washed my front from head to toe, paying special attention to the major orifices. When she had finished making sure I was spotlessly clean she grabbed a minute towel, obviously made for the smaller Filipino male members, and proceeded to rub me down. When I was dry she kissed me again and boldly announced “you go bed, wait me”.

Five minutes later I was lying on the bed eagerly anticipating an exciting night when out of the bathroom stepped Carol, clad only in her high heeled boots. Slowly she slunk across the room towards the bed then pushing her long hair aside she looked me straight in the eyes and said, “honey you ready for Carol”, while her hand sought out my already throbbing male member. As soon as she made contact with my rigid cock she grabbed it and straddled me, like a gymnast on the pommel horse. Once I was fully inside Carol was like a thrashing machine, she was up and down round and round, all at the same time. The woman must have had pelvic muscles on her pelvic muscles and there was no satiating her. This was my first experience with an LBFM (Little Brown Fucking Machine)and I will never forget her. To this day I can remember her nonstop movement and her first orgasm as her eyes rolled back, her breathing quickened and she let out a piercing wail, all the time digging her nails into my chest.

Personally I have never had a problem holding back my orgasm and I was sure as hell trying to, because I never wanted this experience to end. After semi passing out but still on top, Carol looked at me and without hesitation said, “you be the one to drive”. At this stage I had no idea what she was referring to but it became pretty obvious when she dismounted me and lay on the bed next to me fingering her vaginal area. Now I am not one to let an opportunity such as this slip away and normally I would have mounted her instantaneously but when I saw her lying there with those long legs slightly parted lips and a look of pure unadulterated lust in her eyes, I just had to take a little time to savor the moment.

Within seconds the moment was over but that fantastic sight is forever etched in my memory. Quickly getting into the swing of things I threw a proverbial leg over and before I knew it, was humping away like there was no tomorrow. I am not the world’s most well endowed man and I am not exactly small but with Carol I got the impression it didn’t really matter what size you were, she was just totally into sex and once penetrated would go off. Personally I like a woman who enjoys sex but with Carol it was almost like her partner was secondary. Once into the swing of things it was all about Carol and the man was like an object to be used purely for her satisfaction.

I gave Carol a good hard core humping, at times lying on top at other times grabbing her thighs and pumping her while I balanced on my knees. After a frenetic half hour of sexual activity I was getting a little tired but Carol wasn’t going to cut me a break and quickly she pushed me off and then turned around balancing on her knees and elbows in the classic doggy style. This was all too much for me as doggy style has always been my personal favorite, so within seconds I was mounting her from behind and ramming it into her like an enraged stallion.

Once I started Carol was in heaven and with her face buried in the pillow she began to moan and cry out, the more she moaned and cried out the more turned on I got and gave it to her faster and harder. I felt like I was some kind of jack hammer trying to split asunder an unyielding concrete block. This was not just ordinary sex this was a sexual marathon and I, as it turned out, was in for a grueling session.

After about ten minutes of frantic sexual activity I could feel my crescendo approaching and strangely enough so could Carol and just before I was about to cum she turned around and said, “honey put your milk on my brown skin”. Well this was all too much for me and no sooner had she uttered these words than I had one of the most earth shattering orgasms ever. After the paroxysms of joyous orgasm had finished coursing through my brain and body Carol looked at me and said, “honey I ask you to come outside on my brown skin, next time you do that huh”.

Carol was one hell of a woman and throughout the night well into the early hours of the morning we were engaged in sexual activities reminiscent of Olympic athletes. By the end of the fourth round I was absolutely buggered and Carol looked at me with a smile and said “you finish now honey, Carol go home”. With that she gracefully alighted from the bed and wiggling her perfectly rounded ass sauntered to the bathroom. After ten minutes Carol was out of the bathroom completely changed and looking a million dollars. Carol looked at me and asked “you give Carol money for taxi honey”, to which I replied “sure baby” and reached for my wallet to give her 500 piso.Once Carol left I made a mental note to thank David and Kevin for an awesome recommendation and then quietly sunk into the comatose sleep of a sexually satiated man.

The next afternoon after I woke up with aching muscles and a strangely satisfied feeling which was clearly evidenced by the smile engraved on my face. I walked down the stairs slowly and there in the outside dining area were David and Ken who greeted me with beaming smiles and a rousing clap. I looked at them somewhat bemused and asked “what’s up guys” and that’s when David drew my attention to another man sitting at their table. With a huge smile David said “Martin I want you to meet Gary”. Gary rose and proffered his hand which I firmly shook and then Gary said, “have a good night last night mate” and I guardedly replied “yeah awesome” then Gary looked at me and said “yeah I know, I am in the room next to you and I have to thank you. I think listening to you turned my wife on and we had the best sex we have had in five years. So Marty my man, any time you get a wild one do me a favor mate and make as much noise as you like. I loved it mate thanks”.

Upon hearing this I was both embarrassed, complimented and a little amused. I had not realized how loud we were and I certainly never thought anybody else would be listening, let alone getting turned on. The mixture of feelings resulted in me giving Gary a dumb smile as I really had no idea how to respond and it was then that David came to the rescue and said, “well mate it’s time for some breakfast and then I think a little celebratory bar hop is in order”.

Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

My night with Hilda was really quite something, this girl whist being kind of sweet and shy also had plenty of experience and once she knew her customer, was very eager to please. Even though at this stage I had only been in the Philippines a matter of days I realized how easy it would be to fall for one of these girls. I used to often sit around with David and his long term friends just listening to their conversations and absorbing their wisdom like a sponge absorbs water. So many times little gems of wisdom would come to the fore front like, “so you think your girl is different, why does she have three tits” or “Marty trust me don’t be in a hurry to fall in love with these girls. Just have sex with them, pay the money and move on” or “always remember there’s plenty more where she came from”. Even at the comparatively young age of 31, with a healthy dose of naivety and little perception of how the world worked, it felt wrong for me to dehumanize the Filipina bar girl and yet at the same time I couldn’t help but ask myself why are these guys telling me stuff like this, what experiences had led them to think like this.? 18 years later sitting at my computer writing this story I can only say experience has taught me that these seemingly contradictory elements of the Filipina bar girl (ie, the ability to be a sweet and innocent girl and yet at the same time a sexually experienced woman) are in fact part of what makes them so appealing. For want of a better word there is a sort of duality in every Filipina bar girl that makes them both very attractive and very dangerous at the same time.

The point here is that Hilda had this duality. When I met her she had been in the bar scene for about eight months which was certainly long enough for her to learn the ropes and yet not so long that she had become the hardened cynical bar girl. Add to this a sort of simplistic sweetness that is so common amongst the Filipinas and you have for people like me, a very attractive woman.

Physically Hilda was quite outstanding as well. I have very fond memories of her firm shapely legs, nice firm bottom, papaya like breasts, slanted Chinese eyes, what looked like little thumb imprints on her back just above her coccyx and what can only be described as the classic Hollywood rendition, Cleopatra hairstyle. Hilda was from Negros and had a very easy going simplistic nature, she seemed on the surface to just float through life without a care but later on in the relationship I was to find out this was far from the case. In fact the old maxim ‘still waters run deep’ was all to applicable when it came to Hilda. Far from operating on the surface as her appearance would suggest the ladies emotions were intense and extremely deep but more on that later as the story develops.

My first night in the bed with Hilda was pretty good but nothing absolutely mind blowing and when David asked me did you have a good time I replied “yeah she was good and a really nice girl but David I am looking for someone really wild for tonight. I need a typhoon in the bed, a girl who will rock my world”. When I said this David replied “I have just the girl for you in Visions, I will introduce her tonight but before I do that just remember you can’t get anything like this back in Australia so be bloody grateful for every girl you get here”. I thought about this and decided he was absolutely right I had come here to have sex with little brown women because this was exactly what I couldn’t get at home. With this thought firmly in mind I excused myself from my conversation with Dave and headed back upstairs with renewed vigor to give Hilda another tumble.

After having a rather pleasant afternoon session with Hilda I gave her some money and said “honey I have to sleep now but hey, maybe I will come visit you tonight”, to which she replied, ”you promise huh”? I was just about to say no hang on a minute get a grip I didn’t promise you anything when all of a sudden I looked into her strangely intense Chinese eyes and melted. As a result I simply said “ok babe I promise you I will visit your bar tonight”. At the time I knew instinctively I had just failed my first test of will power and a niggling feeling told me this may be the first time but it certainly wouldn’t be the last time I would be manipulated by a supposedly, under educated semi illiterate, Filipina.

At about six PM I was woken by the annoying ringing of my bedside phone, groggily I turned away from it and put a pillow over my head hoping it would stop ringing. Eventually it stopped ringing so I took the phone of the hook and settled down for a nice long snooze. I was just nodding off into a blissful slumber when suddenly I was rudely jarred back into waking by a consistent loud knocking on my hotel room door. Donning my jeans from the end of the bed I groggily opened the door to be confronted by the hotel security guard who looked me up and down and then said “sir David he wait you”, then he pushed a note into my hand and walked away with the air of a man who had completed his mission and wanted nothing more to do with it.

I closed the door and somewhat bemused looked at the hand written note the guard has shoved into my hand. It read “hey mate no time for sleeping you said you wanted a wild one and a wild one is exactly what I have for you. So hurry up get your strides on and let’s hit the bars”. When I read the note I was a little angry at being so abruptly woken up but then again I realized Dave is probably right, life is too short to be spent sleeping especially when one is surrounded by nubile young females dying to make your acquaintance.

After a quick shower I headed down stairs only to be accosted by David who said “give your keys to the receptionist and let’s get out of here, I can feel the pussy calling me”.

As always the walk from the hotel up Del Pilar was an interesting experience but this time David didn’t bother with the formalities and basically ignored the assortment of people who tried to gain a moment of his time. He either looked the other way, ignored them or when cornered by a beggar said “hindi salamat” (no thank you) or “walang pera” (no money) when the vendors would approach him. The man was obviously on a mission and I wasn’t about to stand in his way.

It took us about ten minutes of hectic pace walking to get to Visions and by the time we reached the front door I had worked up a healthy sweat. Rodger and David said hi to David and then said Sir David “tell the waitress to get cold towel for your friend he look to much hot”. David smiled and said “thanks guys I’ll do that, now come on Martin get your ass in inside and let’s find us some pussy”.

When we entered through the front door of Visions I was literally assaulted by a barrage of sound and a plethora of brown skin gyrating before my eyes. When Visions was happening there was a palatable pulse that seemed to throb throughout the club. Anyone who walked in there could literally feel it in the air and couldn’t help but be caught up in the excitement. In Visions the girls on stage were 3 lines deep with another line of the more hard core performers engaging in acrobatic stunts and gyrating their trim brown bodies right on the counter top amongst the customers drinks. These girls were so professional they could strut their stuff up and down the counter top and never spill a customer’s drink. This was long before Coyote Ugly and to be honest they were probably the predecessors of such performances in America.

Another good thing about their performances was that they were totally spontaneous. In today’s clubs you will see similar shows but on the whole they are rehearsed and staged. Back then the DJ’s were totally wired into the scene. For example Alvin and Puncho two of the best DJ’s in Visions could literally control the ambience of that club with the flick of a switch. These DJ’s would watch the ebb and flow of the bar and at certain moments if the right group of girls was on they would put on a romantic song then at other times they would put on hard core rock and roll or upbeat techno. There was something for everyone in Visions which had the best atmosphere of any club in town.

Certain songs were guaranteed to get the girls or the customers or both into the party mood but for me it was always better when the DJ’s concentrated on making the atmosphere through the girls. Whenever their songs would come on the unofficial show girls would jump up on the counter top and artfully avoiding the customers drinks would turn on a dazzling acrobatic display literally doing the splits around any obstacles that were in their way. When the girls were in the mood there was no other club with an electric atmosphere like that of Visions. In the Ermita clubs the girls never had to be asked to dance they just did it and they enjoyed every minute of it. Clubs like Visions had a stable core of tried and true performers, girls who could entertain you like none other and even though you knew it was all a show and that your wallet was being worked, as a customer you enjoyed every second of it.

I followed Dave who once again strolled through the club gently easing his way through the crowd acknowledging customers and girls alike until he came to the managers table at the end of the club. Once there he shook hands with the manager and then turned around to introduce me. “Hey Martin this is Kevin Beck the night time manager here, Kevin this is Martin a mate of mine who is staying at the Mayfair and he is looking for a wild girl, I think he needs to meet Carolina”. Kevin was a young punk who looked a bit like Kevin Cosner in his prime and he smiled at me, shook my hand and said “so Dave do really think he can handle Carolina”? Dave smiled back at him and said “yeah I reckon he is ready and if he’s not by the time Carol has finished with him he will be able to take on just about anything”.

I smiled at this thinking to myself bring her on, at this stage in my life I was yet to meet a woman I couldn’t keep up with. No sooner had I finished this thought than Kevin said “hey man look at the stage”. I looked up and there center stage was this long legged Amazonian type woman with a headband and a type of beauty spot in the middle of her forehead. Straight away I knew this was Carolina and I felt that all too familiar stirring in my groin as I watched this beauty go through her paces. I looked at Kevin and said “ok smart ass you got me now how do I get her down here”. Kevin gave me a sideways look and said “oh that’s the easy part” and promptly whipped out a laser pen and pointed it at Carol. Carol saw the laser dot on her but chose to ignore it as she seemed totally engrossed in her performance. I asked Kevin “is she coming down” to which he answered, “yea she will come just wait until she finishes her trip to this song”. I patiently waited as she gyrated her athletic body in front of two slobbering customers and then when the song was finished she strolled off stage and around to the managers table where Kevin said “hey babe this is Martin, Martin this Carol”.

Carol in boots was about 5 foot 10 with long athletic legs and a lascivious smile that promised a bounty of forbidden pleasures. She was a stunning woman with totally unabashed, blatant sexuality, oozing from every pore. I looked at Carol and proffered my hand, she took it in a rather lady like grasp and simply winked at me while her other hand went straight to my crotch and started stroking my manhood. I looked at Kevin for some hint of instruction but by this time he had turned away and was talking to someone else so I desperately looked around for Dave only to see him standing 6 feet away watching the whole scene with a wry grin on his face. I looked at David imploringly and he then he came over and said “hi Carol hey darling can you do me a favor, let go of this young man’s dick, you are scaring him and he cannot order you a drink while you have hold of him like that”. Then he turned to me and said “you want to buy her a drink don’t you Martin” to which I kind of mumbled “yeah sure” and with these words I felt her grip on my manhood gently subside.

Quickly I ordered a drink for myself Carol and David then as the Jim Beam and coke came I quickly gulped it down for some Dutch courage and ordered another. Several Jim Beam and cokes later I looked at Carol and realized not only was she an incredibly sexual woman but she was actually quite intelligent and that I had been having a fluid conversation with her in English for at least twenty minutes. As I reflected on how to ask this exciting woman out and get her into my bed she looked at me said “so do want to have sex with me”? At this stage in my life I was used to doing the chasing and her unabashed straightforward honesty knocked me back to the extent where I found myself mumbling “err yes please” to which she replied “I will get mommy then you pay her the money while I make change”. With that she alighted from my lap and disappeared into the crowd.

Three minutes later a slightly older lady sidled up to me and stroking the hairs on my arm introduced herself as Mummy Myrna and then held out her hand. I looked at her enquiringly when suddenly I found David standing next to me and he said “give mummy the money mate that’s for Carols bar-fine”. Without the slightest hesitation I handed over the 3 hundred peso paid the drink bill and eagerly awaited my wild ladies return.
In about five minutes Carol was back wearing hip hugging skin tight jeans and a sort of flowery see through top that did very little to conceal her pert and braless breasts. Dave looked at me then looked at Carol and said “you wanted wild mate and wild is what you are about to get”.

Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

After I had completed my mission baby jumped off the bed and ran into the shower whilst I reclined on the bed with a well earned cigarette. After about ten minutes baby came out freshly showered and dressed ready to head back to the bar. I asked her “where are you going honey wouldn’t you like to go get something to eat or drink”, to which she looked at me and said “I tell mommy I only go short time so now you give money baby go back bar”. Now this was a little unromantic and not quite what I was expecting but I wasn’t about to argue with her so I slipped her 500 peso and sent her on her way. I remember thinking so now I know what they mean by a short time and I wasn’t particularly impressed. Ironically after I had been in the country a few months I would be actively looking for girls who specialized in short time because it was easy sex with no drama or emotional attachment but for now this just seemed a bit callous and I couldn’t help but feel slightly used.

After baby had left I headed for the shower then watched some TV and reflected on what had just happened. It was a somewhat harsh reality that I had just paid for sex and yet it was not exactly a mind blowing experience, in fact, I had experienced considerably better sex in Australia and never had to pay for it. This was not exactly an auspicious start but I thought to myself no use crying over spilt milk and I will just have to keep on looking until I find someone who will rock my world. You would have thought I would have learnt from this experience but in the coming months and years I was to often bar-fine a girl who was wild on stage but turned out to be very mediocre in the sack. Why did I keep on falling for this same old trap, I think it had something to do with being naturally attracted to a woman that had the slut appeal and at the time I was comparatively young so I figured if I am going to pay for it I will get a girl who has had the experience and knows what she is doing.

The gap between appearance and reality was just one of the seeming contradictions that make the Philippines so unique. Over here things are rarely as they seem and as David liked to say “still waters run deep mate, the ones that act wild are often just show, whereas the quiet shy ones they love it and will often be the best performers”.

With my spirits still a little low I decided to head out and hit the bars again. On my way through the foyer I saw David who asked “how was that one my boy” to which I replied “to be honest mate I got my rocks off but nothing special and I would have liked a second round but she seemed only interested in doing short time”. David gave me his lopsided smile and said “trust me I know you feel a little disappointed now but one day you will be grateful for short time”. Hearing his thoughts was a small consolation and but in a strange way it did make me feel slightly better about my first sexual experiences in the Philippines. “So where are you heading now”, asked Dave. “I thought I might just go for a bit of a walk and hit a few bars”, I replied. “Well if you hang on a minute I will come with you I have to have my Visions fix anyway and that is the bar with the best girls in town”.

David and I strolled out of the Mayfair along Mabini street then left hand turn onto M.H.Del Pilar. We walked past the blow job bars with their shady painted ladies lounging in dimly lit doorways. I remember looking at the names of the bars such as China Coast, Josies Pride the Gold Mine(where the neon sign was constantly broken and read old mine) Delcima and the Bee club just to name a few. I remember wondering how they came up for names for the bars and what were the stories behind the names of these bars.

Walking down M.H.Del Pilar with David was always an interesting experience because he really did know so many people from so many different walks of life and seemingly he knew the vast majority of girls as well. When with David you could never walk down the street without having to stop every twenty yards while he said good-day to someone or arranged a short time at some point in the near future.

We had negotiated our way through the maze of bars, beggars, partiers, bar hoppers, drunken bums, hustlers and touts and were just about at the door to Visions when David stopped by the doorway of a little bar named Punchline and said “hang on mate I just want to pop in here for one”. I told him hey “I’m easy no problem for me”. We walked into Punchline and there was a grand total of three girls dancing on a little stage to some long forgotten seventies song blaring from a juke box situated in the corner. We each pulled up a stool at the bar when suddenly a dark skinned vision of beauty sidled next to David and started chatting with him. I was absolutely dumbstruck, here we were in a little dump of a bar and from out of nowhere steps this ravishing sex goddess.

David saw the look on my face and said “you have to wait your turn my boy but hey she will be here tomorrow and in the meantime you need to meet Hilda”. “Hilda” I asked, “who is Hilda” and then as if on cue a beautiful Filipina with Chinese eyes, shiny black hair cut in a page boy style, stepped out on stage and David pointing at her said “that’s Hilda”. Well you could have knocked me down with a feather beautiful girls like this were the last thing I was expecting in a little dive like Punchline.

Here was another classic Filipino contradiction more often than not little bars like Punchline would be overlooked by the majority of customers as they gravitated towards the big bars with bright lights, loud music, and numerous girls. Just as I did most people would think, why go into the little bars when searching for a companion, after all, the bigger bars have more girls and a much better range for the customer to chose from. Whilst it is true the big bars have a greater volume of girls I have learnt that the little bars should never be overlooked as more often than not there are one or two gems inside. The little bars tend to attract the quieter more basic sort of girl and at the same time in a small bar the girls learn their trade at a rapid pace right from the word go the pressure is on to be productive and make money for everyone concerned.

I sat at the bar there watching David fondle his girls budding breasts which were barely covered by her scanty bikini along with the occasional sideways glance at the beautiful Hilda. After a preliminary fondle David bought his girl a drink and then made eye contact with Hilda motioning for her to come on down and say hello to me. Hilda came slowly down, shyly shook David’s hand and then David introduced her to me. “Hilda sweetheart I would like you to meet my friend Martin”. Hilda proffered a delicate hand which I gently shook and invited her to sit beside me and have a drink. David’s little one was a little energizer bunny whose name was Marvie and she insisted on doing a sort of private dance show where she would bend her knees and gyrate slowly up and down all the time holding her hands above her head and swaying her buttocks in a highly provocative manner. I was to see this dance a million times in the coming years but for now I was absolutely captivated as I had never seen anything like it before. I asked Hilda “can you dance like that”, to which she replied “of course” and then proceeded to do a dual show together with Marvie right there on the floor in front of us. Well that was enough for me and I said to David “mate I think I want to bar-fine this girl she is a stunner”. David looked at me shook his head and said “ok you can bar-fine her but remember the night is only young and we still have to go to Visions where there are hundreds more”. “Yes but mate this Hilda is hot so I will bar-fine her and take her with me”. Once again David shook his head and said “no way my boy. If you want her you pay the bar fine now and then we will leave her here and go to Visions, you can pick her up on the way back after we have finished bar hopping”.

After paying our bill I gave Hilda a little kiss and promised I would come back after bar hoping she looked at my earnest face and said “no problem I wait for you”. David then whispered something to Marvie and it was out the door, a short stroll down the street and into Visions the bar that was to change my life forever.

The bars in M.H.Del Pilar were like anything in the entertainment industry fickle and subject to change. What would be one year’s hot bar could the very next year be a boring dive whilst some new bar had sprung up and was now the ‘in’ place to visit. Back then in July of 1991 there were definitely three major bars all competing for the customers peso. These were Superstar, Firehouse and Visions. Of these Visions was the smallest, the newest and for me certainly the most fun. Visions was the old Pit Stop bar but it had been thoroughly renovated and a new bar with over 200 girls was created. The owners had invested in a little Australian guy named John Reed to run the place and he had turned what was a very mediocre bar into a bar full of fun and energy. There were just so many beautiful girls here and a chaotic party atmosphere unparalleled by any other bars on the strip.

Visions was in many ways the quintessential Philippines girlie bar. This bar had everything. The stage ran along the front of the bar and was always jam packed 3 deep with beautiful girls of various shapes, sizes and ages. At the front of the stage was a small serving area where the bar staff would stand and serve the drinks. Next to the serving area was a narrow wooden counter top with stools behind it where the customers could sit enjoy a drink or three and still be within touching distance of at least 20 girls. In fact in those days customers would often gravitate towards the front of the bar and the girls would nearly always dance on the wooden counter top. There was just something about the mixture of ice cold San Miguel beer and beautiful brown girls gyrating their scantily clad superbly shaped bodies, just3 feet away from you that kept people like me coming back without a moment’s hesitation. Progressing back from the stage there were a series of couches and tables which people could sit at and then at the very back of the room a dimly lit couch area where people could go about their own business, hold a private party, fondle their chosen girl or just sit back and absorb the party atmosphere that was the hallmark of Visions.

As we entered into Visions I remember thinking wow this place is rocking. There were about 50 girls on stage and every one of them looked absolutely stunning. In Visions there was always a very nice mixture of shy little provincial types some young fresh ones and the hardcore dancers who would do just about anything to get your attention and a few extra pesos.

David led me through the milling crowd of customers and girls to a small table at the end of the bar where I was introduced to John. At this stage in his life John Reed was still quite partial to a tequila or three and no sooner had we been seated than a free shot of Tequila came over. If I am honest I have to admit a severe aversion to the taste of tequila but I didn’t want to offend John so it was time to chug it down and worry about the taste and effect later.

After about ten minutes I decided it was my turn to buy back so I just ordered a round of normal drinks not being very impressed with the tequila. John thanked me and then we had a great conversation where I would ask questions about a particular girl and he would give me a blow by blow description of each girl’s particular name and talents. One of John’s particular strengths was that he knew his girls well and was eager to share the information if you asked.

Another great thing about Visions was the music quality and selection. Whilst Firehouse had the Bose cannons Visions went with the JBL power speakers and in my opinion the sound reproduction was even better than Firehouse. One particular strength of Visions was the atmosphere and the music played was a key factor in generating this. Later I was to get a job managing Visions and one of the very first things John would teach me was “play music for the girls get them partying and having fun, the rest will take care of itself”.

David and I spent about two hours in Visions just drinking, chatting to John and watching the seemingly endless parade of girls that passed by our table. After a fairly heavy nudge on the beer, shots and ladies drinks we ambled out of there and straight back into Punchline where our girls were nowhere to be seen. David asked the mamasan “where are our girls” and was greeted with the reply “for a while Sir David”. We sat down at the bar again ordered a drink and in came our girls happily munching on a green mango with fish paste. “Where have you been you little monkey” David asked Marvie and in between giggles she replied “we get food because we hungry”. “I reckon that’s bullshit” David said under his breath, “little bitch has probably been doing a short time while we were away”. Then with his moment of harsh reality over with he turned to Marvie and said “Well darling you can get food at the hotel after we finish our business” replied David. He then reached for both our bills paid them, turned to Marvie and said, “come on you little monkey daddy is feeling horny and you’re going to help me”. Obviously Marvie had been through this before as rather than being upset by being called a monkey she seemed delighted and said “me LBFM, me not monkey, me give you satisfaction you give Marvie money honey”.

Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

I looked at David and said “what do you reckon mate, how about we try out this blow job with ice, I have never heard of that before”. He looked at me and said “not yet mate there’s plenty of time for that later, first I want to introduce you to some friends of mine”. With that said we carried on walking past the dingy little blow job bars with their enticing door girls promising everything under the sun and into a bar called Firehouse.

At this stage Firehouse at least by reputation was still the number 1 bar in the Philippines and as we walked through the big wooden doors held open by the smiling door men, a feeling of coming home suddenly hit me. I remember walking in through the small corridor with the Firehouse memorabilia displayed behind locked glass cabinets, pushing aside the red curtains which shield the goings on inside the bar from the streets outside and bang it hit me. Once through the curtains I just stood stock still and looked around in awe. There in front of me dancing on the stainless steel stage were about thirty luscious girls all wearing red bikinis and white or red high heeled shoes. The song playing was touch by touch and the girls were doing a semi choreographed dance routine the likes of which I had never seen before.

As I stood there mesmerized I felt a gentle tugging on my shirt sleeve and turned around to see an absolutely stunning girl standing beside me. “Have a seat sir” she said and I responded by saying something lame like “where do you want me to sit” (I was putty in her hands already) to which she replied by opening her hand and waving it in the general direction of the stage whilst pursing her lips and pointing towards a stool in front of the stage.

This was the first time I had seen a Filipina point with her lips and at the time I thought to myself, I wonder why she is blowing kisses at the girls on stage. I must have stood there like an innocent newbie because the next thing I knew she had her hand around my arm and was guiding me to a seat. She guided me to a seat in the middle of the bar right in front of the stage where a smiling Filipino bar tender in a checkered waist coat approached me and asked “something to drink sir”? I kind of looked at him looked at the beauty hanging on my arm, looked at the thirty girls on stage, smiled and said “sure thing buddy, think I’ll go a Jack Daniels and coke”.

The Jack Daniels came within what seemed like a microsecond and as I sat back on the high back stool I just took my time to survey the scene. In front of me was a stainless steel stage slightly elevated so my eyes were almost directly crotch level with the girls. Behind the girls was an old fire truck which the girls would take it in turns to frolic upon. I kind of looked around in confusion not really knowing which girl to make eye contact with when suddenly I felt a hand rubbing against my crotch. I must have jumped a bit because when I looked at my ravishing hostess she had actually reeled back in surprise. Then it dawned on me she had been playing with my dick so I just smiled and said “Im sorry honey I didn’t mean to scare you but you shocked me so I jumped”. She looked at me with what can only be described as a lascivious look of cunning and asked in her sweetest voice “this your first time”? Eagerly I responded “yes my first time and I came here because my friends in Australia they tell me this is a great country with so many beautiful girls like you”. When she heard this, the young lady smiled and said “you give me bula bula”.

Now at this stage I had no idea what bula bula meant but judging from her reaction I assumed it must be something good and I was semi pleased that my impromptu pick up line had worked so well.

I sat next to my new found friend for about ten minutes enjoying her company and thought to myself geez I wish it was this easy in my own country. In fact now I think back on it I realize it would have been 2 years since I had actually had a decent conversation with a woman whom I had just met. Now I hear you saying, two years, what is this guy, a social retard or something but if the truth be known, I am a normal, heterosexual, average looking male and by no means a social retard. So why the 2 year hiatus, well the simple fact is that opportunities like this rarely presented themselves back in my own country and if they did the conversation always seemed stilted and contrived. Perhaps one of my favorite aspects of living in the Philippines is that even though there is a massive population here the social interaction between individuals is so much easier than in Western countries. This is especially the case between foreigners and Filipinas and even foreigner to foreigner. In the case of foreigners and Filipinas I think this ease of social interaction occurs because the girls actually want to know you because you represent something different and in the case of the bar girls, because they see you as an opportunity to improve their life. As for foreigner to foreigner the interaction occurs because the Philippines is an amazing melting pot of people from all over the world and most of us are here for exactly the same reason ……… pussy.

After about 15 minutes of my new found friend rubbing my crotch and none to subtly proffering her ample attributes I suddenly remembered Dave and upon looking around saw him in the far corner at the end of the bar talking with some other guy and both were looking at me and laughing. I couldn’t for the life of me see what was so funny so I excused myself from the girl and saying I will be back in a minute strolled over to see why I was the brunt of their humor.

As I approached them Dave said “hey Marty this is Howard the daytime manager of Firehouse”. I offered my hand and as he shook it I said “pleased to meet you sir”. He looked at me and responded “are you pleased to meet me or your new found friend Maryanne”. Just then David started laughing so somewhat indignantly I asked him “what’s so funny”, to which he replied I think you might have gotten a little excited son and then it dawned on me here I was shaking some guys hand whom I had only just met with a massive hard-on.

I quickly released Howards hand and said “shit sorry about that man it’s just that the girl over there has been getting me all revved up”. Howard keeping a totally straight face said “no problem it happens to us all first time here”. Well this was a small consolation and to be truthful I was very impressed with his ability to keep a straight face and not take the piss out of me so straight away I called the bar tender in the checkered waist coat and ordered a round of drinks. Howard said “thanks very much but mate you better get your lady friend over here to join us because at the end of the day she is a hell of a lot better looking than we are”. I called Maryanne over to join us and we proceeded to settle into a nice little afternoon session.

I have very fond memories of the Firehouse apart from all the marketing hype, this was truly an institution in the Philippine bar scene. I remember the good old days of the barber’s chair where willing and unwilling victims would have copious amounts of shooters thrown down their throats and I will never forget the massive Bose cannon speakers that when cranked produced a massive sound which would reverberate throughout the entire bar. This bar also featured functional stained wooden tables, comfortable lounges, a raging drinking and partying scene and best of all 150 plus girls some of which really were absolute stunners.

After a nice wetting of our whistles Dave looked at me and said “well mate it’s time to hit the street”. I asked him “can I take Maryanne with me” to which he replied if you want but I wouldn’t advise it. I looked at him perplexed and he said “mate there are plenty of other options we have only done one bar and trust me there is a lot more for you to see”. I gave Maryanne a longing glance then realized Dave had been around more than me and he’s probably right, so I gave her a little kiss and promised to return in the near future.

As we walked out of Firehouse the humidity, alcohol and pollution hit me, so much so, that we had to stop for a minute and take a breather. I remember standing outside the entrance to an upstairs bar, I think it was called the Delcima club, just watching the street and taking it all in. No matter what time of day or night Ermita was always a hive of activity. During the day especially between 3 to 6pm it was always inundated with traffic. Endless lines of Jeepneys spewing exhaust fumes into the narrow confines of M.H.Del.Pilar street and taxis cruising down the road at a snail’s pace eagerly searching for foreigner fares. There was always the constant pressure to hand over money from the grime covered street children who hadn’t showered for a month, and alongside them were the street vendors selling green mango, balut and barbequed chicken intestines. This montage of images is still as clear in my mind 17 years later as if it was yesterday but out of the mass of images that assaulted my senses in the first few days the one that really stands out is that of the beautiful girls.

I remember in particular the mass of beautiful girls working the clubs throughout Ermita. During the day they were invariably dressed in hip hugging skin tight jeans and skimpy tops. Riding on top of their hips extending half way down their ass would be extra large belts which had nothing to do with holding their jeans up but rather seemed to accentuate that swinging sensuous gate which so many Filipinas have perfected. A second look more predominant in the evening was the skimpy thigh length dress which hugged the entire body and emphasized the so called ‘coca cola body shape’. These dresses always reminded me of scenes from sixties movies and like their predecessors they would emphasize all the right places of a woman’s body. The hips, buttocks, flat tummies and pert little breasts were all accentuated whilst any flaws would remain discreetly hidden only to be found out later by the unwitting customer.

This display of sexually charged womanhood was in my opinion unparalleled by any other red light district in the world. Ermita was a dizzying display of flesh and fantasy. Rose red lipstick, cheap perfume, clicking high heels, hair spray, swaying buttocks, petite facial features, flawless brown skin, copious amounts of cheap alcohol and even cheaper drugs, all combined to make Ermita a totally unforgettable experience enjoyed by people from all corners of the globe.

After about two minutes I had recuperated somewhat and we proceeded up M.H. Del Pilar to a bar named Bubbles. As we walked into bubbles I remember thinking this bar has seen better days and I was just about to ask Dave if we could go and have a look at another bar when suddenly I caught a glimpse of this long legged lovely who like a contortionist was doing the splits then touching the back of her head with her foot whilst maintaining the split position.

Dave ambled over to talk with some Jabba The Hut look alike who was sitting at a table by the doorway whilst I stood transfixed by the flexible nymph. After watching the impromptu show for about three minutes I caught Daves eye and he motioned for me to come and join him at the table. I strolled over and was introduced to the Jabba The Hut look alike, a man called Ryan. Ryan was a crusty, rough around the edges Australian- Yugoslavian who was the owner of bubbles and had literally been there done that. Whilst we were sitting there I saw Ryan put away at least four beers in the time I had done one. I noticed also the waitresses always bought his wrapped in a beer cooler along with a cold glass, they would then poor his drink and take the bottle away. At the time I thought this was just privilege of rank being the owner and all but later on I found out he was served this way to hide the fact that he was drinking NAB a brand of non alcoholic beer. Many months later I asked him why he bothered disguising what he drank and he replied “Martin these bars make a lot of money through selling drinks. If I have some guys who are drinking with me they wouldn’t buy a round knowing I was a cheating bastard drinking NAB.”

After a while Dave and Ryan were deeply involved in a knowing conversation about certain individuals around town which of course meant nothing to me so I excused myself and made a beeline towards the front of the bar where my intriguing contortionist was now rubbing her female parts against a big black pole.

At this stage I had only been in the Philippines for 3 days so I had virtually no idea about ladies drinks or any other form of social communication with the Filipina bar girl but luckily for me this was the Philippines and over here social interaction between foreigners and Filipinas always seems to follow a natural course, no matter how inexperienced or naive you may be.

I sat and watched her perform her acrobatic dances for about 5 minutes then finally managed to catch her eye and received a dazzling smile which decided me then and there, this was the girl for me. After her dance shift was finished she literally jumped on my lap, planted her luscious ruby red lips on mine and with a cheeky impish grin said “Hi handsome what’s your name”? Mmmm-martin I nervously stammered to which she said “you Martin Rivera” and then proceeded to giggle. I of course had no idea who Martin Rivera was but figured it was obviously someone famous so I just said sure “that’s me Martin whatever” and gave her another kiss on those inviting lips”. With that she started rubbing her crotch against mine whilst instructing me to hold her tight little ass and gently push. After about two minutes of this the waitress magically appeared and said “hello sir would you like to buy her a drink”? I replied “yeah sure” and received yet another longing kiss and a round of crotch rubbing.

We must have stayed like this for about 16 minutes when I felt a presence behind me and turned round to see David who smiled at me and said “how you going there son”, I replied “pretty good thanks mate really can’t complain”, “well pay your bill and finish up mate because I gotta get back to the hotel, I’m expecting one of my regulars to drop by for a short time”. I was just about to respond when baby said “I like short time to I go with you”. Of course I had no idea what a short time was but it sounded good so I stammered something like ok with me and looked at David imploringly. David smiled once again and said to the girl, “darling go get mummy he pay barfine”. With this baby literally squealed in delight jumped of my lap and disappeared into a room of to the side of the stage. Next thing I know there was a rather plump masculine looking Filipina by my side who introduces herself as Mummy Josie and whilst rubbing my arm with one hand proffered the other hand in the universally accepted gesture of give me money.

Once again I turned to David with a perplexed look on my face to which he replied just give mummy 3 hundred piso and the girl goes with you. Excitedly I reached down into my pockets, pulled out my wallet and counted out three one hundred piso notes. I then placed them in mummies sweaty palms and next thing I knew the lovely baby was back and with a lascivious smile for one so young, looked at me and said “lets go honey it’s time for a short time.” With this said she grabbed my hand and proceeded to walk me out of the bar with a grinning David following closely behind.

Memoirs of a Philippine Mongerer

At the risk of becoming introspective and boring everybody to death with stories of excessive indulgence, I thought the life and times of a Philippine expat would make an interesting column for AE members to read. I envision that this article will be somewhat of a work in progress divided into chapters. By definition it will largely be about my own experiences but wherever possible I will try to extrapolate the lessons learned and give my personal feelings and reactions to the situations as they occurred. It is my hope that this article will work on three separate levels. Firstly it will provide an easy reading narrative, detailing some of my experiences over the last eighteen years of living and working here. Secondly, it will provide an enlightening insight into the world of managing bars and day to day survival in the Philippines. Thirdly it will be simple light hearted entertainment for all to enjoy.

As a wise man once said the best place to start any story is at the beginning and the beginning for me was at my best friends flat in Australia, September 15, 1990. We were sitting around his dining room table quaffing down copious amounts of Jack Daniels and coke whilst playing black jack, when suddenly from out of nowhere my mate Tim piped up “ guess what guys, just came back from a great trip to the PI”. I asked him “from where” and he replied “the Philippines mate, you wouldn’t believe it”.

I looked at him somewhat aghast and said, “why would you want to go there? I mean what is there to do in the Philippines?” Tim had thrown out his line and like a big fish I had taken the bait. To answer my question Tim simply smiled, looked around to make sure his live in girlfriend was nowhere in ear shot and replied “mate they have little brown girls there who dance on the pole, speak English and love to fuck.” At this point you could have knocked me down with a feather. In the past I had heard of General MaCarthurs "I shall return" and I had heard about Filipina mail order brides but that was about as far as my knowledge of the Philippines went.

At this stage in my life I had been to Thailand several times before so I wasn’t totally green and I felt compelled to ask,“so you mean it has a bar scene like Thailand” and he replied “exactly, except the Philippine girls speak English and they fall in love with you”. After hearing this, my curiosity was now tweaked and I made a mental note to myself to secretly learn more about this mysterious country Philippines and its girlie bar scene.

Time slowly trundled on and in May of 1991 I found myself retrenched from my job as the advertising manager for a major Japanese computer company along with a healthy redundancy check and thoughts of the Philippines revolving in my head.

I now had plenty of time on my hands plus the necessary funds so it was fairly obvious that this was the perfect time to travel. Thanks to the Lonely Planet’s ‘guide book to the Philippines’ I now had a basic idea of where this country was and what it was like so I decided a two week stopover in the PI would fit the bill and from there over to Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos and then over to England to try and find some gainful employment.

On July 1, 1991 I said goodbye to Australia at the grand old age of 31 and headed towards what would become my new home, the Philippines. I was sitting on the plane just minding my own business when all of a sudden the guy in the seat across the isle from me said “gooday mate, your first trip to the Philippines?” I answered “yeah is it that obvious” and he said “yes mate but don’t worry about it, it’s me and me mates first trip as well.” "But you guys look like you do this shit all the time" I said to which he replied “nope this is our first trip”. “Me mate Terry over here his brother has shares in a bar in Manila so we thought we would get over there and check it out”. I asked my new found friend "what bar is that" and he said “it’s called superstar mate, see you there about 9pm.”

Later that night I hailed a cab from my hotel and asked the driver do you know Superstar Bar he replied “sure Joe, Superstar I know” and 200 peso later for what must have been approximately a 2 mile journey I was at the doorstep of the biggest club in Ermita.

For those of you who were here back then or at least visiting you will remember Superstar as being a big bar with a raised circular stage in the front and various stages of elevated seating slightly resembling an ancient roman amphitheater. The night I walked in through the stainless steel doors my senses were literally assaulted by a barrage of sound, a plethora of gorgeous girls and drunken revelers as far as the eye could see. I stood in the doorway for about twenty seconds when all of a sudden I made eye contact with a long legged brown skinned beauty who winked at me and I remember thinking ‘thank you Tim, I have died and gone to heaven’.

I made my way through the crowd of partiers to the upper section of Superstar only to find my buddies from the plane engaging in copious rounds of shooters with the manager, a Corsican gent named Claude. Now I am not one to say no to a drink and next think I knew the shooters were coming by the tray full. In those days it was common practice for the group of guys to raise their glasses in the air shout in unison at the top of their voices and then drink the shot in one gulp. We did this about eight times within the space of one hour when suddenly Claude ambles over to me and says “hey buddy it’s your round”. I tried to explain to him that buying a round is not a problem I just didn’t realize that it was expected of me. With that he calls a waitress over and says "just tell her what drinks you want to order and let’s get this party rolling".

Lesson number one; when involved in rounds of shooters with a bar manager make sure you reciprocate by buying a round back. If you don’t want to play the game simply do not drink the first shooter when it is offered to you and this way you are never obligated to buy back.

Well as you can imagine the night went downhill from there on but I did manage to eventually pick up a girl (or did she pick me up) get back to my hotel and get the deed done. Her performance was not exactly mind blowing but then again I am sure mine wasn’t either.

The next day I moved to the APP, Manila, Mayfair Hotel which had been recommended by my friend Tim and another long term Philippine visitor Graham. The Mayfair was not exactly plush but the air-cons worked albeit loudly, the bed sheets were cleaned regularly, the beds were comfortable and big enough to fit one foreigner and two Filipinas, the food was always decent, it was priced correctly and every afternoon the management would offer guided tours of their favorite bars.

When I first checked into the Mayfair I decided well there’s no point coming all this way just to sit in my room so I decided to grab something to eat and maybe a quiet little drink in the hotel restaurant. The hotel restaurant was in fact a far cry from what in a normal country would be called a restaurant. Basically it was composed of a small open air courtyard with four plastic tables, some plastic seats and a small bar area which specialized in SMB, Red Horse, Tanduay Rum and Ginebra Gin all for a massive 30 peso. Behind the bar was a smallish kitchen featuring a nippa hut roof, sheets of plastic to protect one from the elements when it rained and the distinctive aroma of vinegar laden chicken adobo.

I wandered downstairs through the reception area where the receptionist was busy self administering a manicure whilst jabbering away in Taglog on the phone and into the hotels courtyard / restaurant. I asked for a menu then ordered a coffee to drink and chicken adobo to eat.

As I was sitting there enjoying my second cup of coffee I happened to catch snippets of the conversation going on at the table next to me. Now I am not one to eavesdrop but this conversation was just too good to be true. Here were two Australian guys discussing the merits of having sex with a young woman versus having sex with a slightly older, more experienced woman. I tried to tune off but the subject matter had me hooked and it was very obvious these two veterans had been around and were speaking from personal experience. I turned around and said “sorry to interrupt guys but I just couldn’t help overhearing your conversation and I was wondering if I could join in. My name is Martin, it’s my first trip and I reckon I can learn a lot from guys like you”. They both stopped talking looked at me, then the taller one of the two said “sure thing mate pull up a chair and let’s hear your point of view”.

Pretty soon we were all comfortably sitting around the plastic tables throwing back a few cold smb’s and thoroughly enjoying the easy going banter that is so common amongst expats in the Philippines.

Prior to arriving I had asked Tim and Graham for some contacts in Manila and they had given me the names of Ken Carbry and David Goldshaft. After about half an hour of a serious discussion on the subject of sex I asked the guys “by the way guys I don’t even know your names” to which they replied Ken and David. At this point I broke out in a big laugh and said “that would be right I was told to ask for you two by my mates in Aus”. We discussed mutual acquaintances and common friends for a while then David looked at his watch and said “geez it’s almost 2, time for a bar hop son”.

I had no way of knowing it at the time but throughout my first few years in the Philippines, David Goldshaft and Ken Carbry were to be major influences in my life. David was a 50 year old accountant bought up in Australia but had been residing in Manila for the last ten years. He was a tall skinny man whose trade mark was his horn rimmed bi-focal glasses through which he would scrutinize any and every girl that came into his field of vision. When it came to girls David always reminded me of a horse breeder at a yearling sale. Ken was a small, diminutive, 60 year old Aussie who was in many ways totally the opposite too David. When it came to the women Ken was a quiet achiever and he could most often be found in the steam rooms, saunas and massage parlors sampling an afternoon delight from one or more willing Filipinas.Both these guys were fountains of knowledge and like a sponge I absorbed their wisdom so readily given.

No sooner had David uttered the words bar hopping and I was ready to go. My eagerness must have been clearly apparent to both of them because David looked at me through his thick bi-focal glasses and said “hey Ken look at the youngster he’s like a bull in a china shop, just can’t wait to get stuck into it”. Ken then smiled at me saying “hey boy you’re eager, slow down a bit the pussy isn’t going anywhere. I asked him "where are we going" and he replied “don’t worry about that son you’re in good hands now”.

We walked out of the hotel turned left and headed up Mabini street towards the bar area of M.H.Del Pilar. To this day I can remember clear as a bell the oppressive humidity, the pot holed pavements with seedy looking Filipinos and hawkers eyeing me from dingy street corners. I remember the numerous electricity lines all dangling down in a gigantic bunch from termite ridden poles. I remember the yellow Toyota cabs with their little non effective fans placed on the dash board. I remember how the cabs would follow you up the street with the driver hailing you through his window “I give you good price joe” “where you go joe” “hey Americano me number one driver you want girl”. Most of all I remember the poor sleeping on filthy sheets of cardboard with a mass of grimy kids all holding out their hands saying “hey Joe you give me money”. Imediately my heart went out to them and I found my wallet rapidly becoming considerably lighter. To this day these images are as fresh in my mind as if it was yesterday.

Within 5 minutes of walking and having my senses bombarded I was at a loss about what to think and the ashen look on my face must have said it all because David turned to me and said “yeah I know what you’re feeling mate I was exactly the same on my first trip”. Whilst this was not really a consolation it did make me feel a little bit better if only because I realized we all go through this ‘culture shock’ when we first arrive in the Philippines.

Once we hit M.H.Del Pilar street I looked over at Dave and as the door girls tried to entice us into the individual bars with promises of free blow jobs and cryptic lines like “I give you best honey ko”, “it’s nice with ice” and “come inside sir, to many sexy ladies”, I saw a wry smile on Dave’s face then he turned to me and said “now that’s what I’m talking about and that’s why I call this place home”.